“I’m definitely in,” Ian said with his best valley girl voice.
Carina gave him a hell no look and for good measure said, “No.”
“Hey,” he protested. “I can be one of the girls and gossip. We can look at hot boys and compare. Well, not you. You can look at me.”
“Oh, my god, Ian,” Carina said, but it was softened by a laugh.
Daniel heaved a sigh beside me. “Well, I’ll warn everyone you’re coming. It will be interesting if nothing else.”
4
Hanna
“I’m just waiting for Daniel to see me and kick me out,” Olivia said, stretching her neck to look over the crowd.
I looked too, under the guise of helping her keep an eye out. I hadn’t seen him in the entire hour we’d been at Voyeur. Maybe I was so eager to see him because he would be one familiar male face in a sea of unknowns.
Yeah, that was it.
“He can’t kick you out. It’s girls night,” Carina chimed in.
“He’s probably hiding in his office,” Oaklyn added. “He usually does on Saturday nights.” She would know since she’d worked here during a semester of college.
Olivia rolled her eyes, annoyed with the possibility of Daniel ruining her fun. “One of his rules was that Kent didn’t bring me here. But Kent isn’t here, so as long as Daniel doesn’t get weird out here in the lounge with some woman,” she gagged for effect, “We should be good.”
“I thought my relationship was weird,” Alex muttered into her drink.
Olivia hitched her thumb Oaklyn’s way. “Can’t beat the teacher fucker over here.”
Oaklyn slapped her shoulder. “Shut up.”
“I think it’s safe to say we all push the boundaries with our relationships.” Carina held up her glass in a toast. “To kinky relationships.”
We clinked glasses, and I sucked the last of my margarita through the straw. I even swished around the ice to get every last drop. I both loved and hated the two-drink maximum. I could easily give in to my nerves and get drunk, but the rule kept me in check and helped me stay sober, making me aware of every increased beat of my heart.
“Come on, let’s dance,” Carina declared. “Hanna needs to shake her ass in that tiny ass dress.”
“It’s not that small,” I defended, tugging the white fitted material down my legs, only to tug it higher on my chest too. I’d grown to love wearing clothes that made me feel sexy. The first low-cut top I’d worn out had felt like a giant fuck you to the monsters who made me hate my body.
“Nah. But your boobs look great. Also, I’m digging the middle cut out. Very peekaboo.”
My arm wrapped around my middle, not feeling as secure as before leaving the house. The dress was a simple white, but it was fitted with one long sleeve and a slim cutout around my stomach. But now, standing in the crowd of swaying bodies under the lights, I felt naked.
I think the girls noticed my nerves rising by the second and banded around me as we danced. I lost count of how many songs we danced to, but by the time we stumbled off the floor, my muscles were more relaxed from the release of energy than what any alcohol could do.
“I think I’m ready,” I said, lifting my hair off my damp neck.
Oaklyn tipped her head to the right. “Come on, I’ll take you back.”
I followed her to the hallway where the iPads were, standing by as she clicked some buttons to get me to the selections.
Trying to calm my nerves, I asked, “So, you worked here?”
Oaklyn’s fingers froze, and she tipped her head just enough to look at me from the corner of her eye.
“No judgment,” I assured, holding my hands up. “It’s more of a fascination.”
“I did for a little while to help pay for college. It wasn’t too bad, but not exactly my life-long goal.”
I nodded, not knowing what else to say. A pinch ached in my chest, and I realized it was jealousy. Oaklyn was a few years younger than me, but she felt so mature in my mind. She had the sexual freedom I dreamed of. I couldn’t imagine what it took to work here, to put yourself on display like that, and she had. It made me feel immature and emotionally stunted.
“Okay,” she said, stepping back. “It’s all yours.”
I approached the screen like it was a ticking bomb. Daniel had glossed over the selections during our tour, but nothing could have prepared me for the list of options.
Orgy.
F/F.
M/M.
M/F/M.
M/M/F.
BDSM.
Fisting.
I quickly scrolled past that one and made my selection. Missionary, under sheets, some talking, some nudity, low graphicness. Way, way low. Not thinking too hard about it, I hit enter and stepped back.
“Now what?”
“Now, we wait.”
She led me back to the girls at the bar, and I barely focused on anything except the band around my wrist.
“You ready?” Carina asked, almost bouncing in her seat.
“Yes?”
“Oh, come on. This is awesome. You’ve got this, and it’s awesome you’re taking your sexuality into your own hands. You’re a lady boss, and no one can take that away from you.”
A lump built in my throat, and I forced it down. This woman didn’t owe me anything, and all this was happening because of her.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime,” she said with a wink.
My bracelet vibrated, and I almost fell off my seat.
“You’ve got this,” she said one more time.
I walked down the hall until I reached the designated room.
“Miss Brandt?” a large bouncer asked.
Daniel had explained that each room was protected by a guard to make sure everyone was safe and secure both inside and out of the room.
“Yes.”
“Head on in. Just flip the switch to let everyone know you’re ready to begin. I’m John. Let me know if I can get anything for you.”
He opened the door, and I walked into a dimly lit room that looked a lot like a living room. A large white rug stretched across the floor with a dark leather couch and two chairs on each side. There were end tables and lamps to give the room a soft, warm glow.
The only thing not like a typical living room was the lube, handcuffs, towels, condoms, and a slew of other items on a shelf behind the couch. That and the large, floor-to-ceiling, one-way glass window that let me look into the room beyond, which looked like a typical bedroom. Bed, dresser, nightstand, lamp. It was all so normal.
Turning back to the couch, I saw a binder laying on one of the end tables, and I jumped back when I barely lifted the front cover and saw pictures of purple dildos and who knew what else.
Shaking out my arms and stretching my neck, I tried again and even flipped through the selection of sex toys and extras I could request. A high-pitched giggle broke free at the colorful array of penises laid out. Swallowing, I decide to save those for another time. This was more of a test to see if I could even make it through. I’d watched porn on a computer and got turned on, but to see it in real life would push me to my limits of fears.
I turned back to the closed door and saw the switch. With a shaking hand, I took a deep breath and flipped it up. A green light appeared right on the other side of the window, and I guessed that was the cue to begin. On jello-like legs, I stumbled to the couch and barely perched on the edge.