Jealousy
Lucas
I couldn’t take it anymore. Missing the hell out of Cammy, I needed to see her. Paul was right. The more time I gave her, the harder it would be to patch up my mistake. She needed to know I would have nothing to do with Caroline, that I would pick her over anyone.
I didn’t bother to page her or call, knowing she wouldn’t answer the phone. So when I stopped by her place, no one seemed to be home, even though a faint light glowed through the blinds. No one answered when I knocked on the door. It was after midnight.
Where the hell is she? Out with her friends on Saturday night? Possibly.
I went back to my car and decided to come tomorrow morning when I spotted Cammy with another guy. What the hell?
My heart sank to my stomach and the world spun out of control. Calm down, I told myself. Old friends? Cammy didn’t have any guy friends that I knew of.
When he leaned closer, she didn’t move away. It took every ounce of my willpower not to go over there and punch his face. She smiled at him the way she smiled at me when we first started dating.
I searched deep in my memory of the past few months. Cammy and I had been fighting more than before. It was mostly over Caroline, but maybe she was trying to find an excuse to break up with me and date that guy?
He didn’t kiss her, but still I couldn’t wrap my mind around what I saw. After Cammy went inside, the guy took off. I debated whether to confront him. But why? I didn’t know what was going on, and I certainly didn’t want to look like an ass or make a fool of myself. Enough was enough.
I pressed the doorbell, and a few seconds later, I did again. Be patient, I chided myself. I waited and waited... the longer I waited, the harder my heart thundered against my rib cage. What if she never wants to see me again?
The door swung open. Her smile faded. She looked absolutely amazing in her cutoff jeans, crop top, and her blonde hair in a scrunchie. And those gorgeous amber eyes I’d missed so much nearly had me kneeling on the floor, begging her to take me back.
“Lucas?” She sounded off guard, in shock.
Was she expecting that guy?
“Cammy,” I said softly. “Can we please talk?”
I braced myself for the door to slam in my face, but she nodded and opened it wider. “Come in. Do you want anything to drink?”
“No.” I sat on the sofa.
I wanted to wrap my arms around her, smell the sweet scent of her, and kiss her. A kiss that would tell her how sorry I was and to make up for hurting her, hurting us.
When Cammy sat on the opposite side of me, I felt the division. A sturdy wall had risen between us, and I realized then it was going to take a lot more than begging and apologizing to bring it down.
“Cammy.” I reached out for her hand but dropped mine instead. I’d wanted to see her so badly that I hadn’t planned a speech. What the hell do I say? So I poured out my heart. “I’m so sorry, baby. It’s killing me that I’ve hurt you. You have to believe me that I’m hurting, too. I told Caroline that I never want to talk to her again. I’ve said this before, but she kissed me. I was in shock, and I might not have pushed her away. But I swear, baby. She means nothing to me.”
A tear slid down Cammy’s face. “I told you to be careful about Caroline, but you didn’t listen. You let her in. I can’t look at you without thinking of her lips on yours.”
I scrubbed my face, releasing a deep sigh. I wasn’t making any progress. “Cammy. I’m begging.” I went to her and dropped my head onto her lap. She stiffened. “Please, Cammy. Give us another chance. Let’s heal our wounds together. Just tell me what you want me to do. I’ll do anything.”
Her body trembled slightly and a soft whimpering noise escaped from her. “I need time. I can’t—”
Anger rose from the pit of my gut. I sat up with my jaw clenching. “Is it because of that guy?”
Cammy wiped her cheeks, her eyes wide. “What guy?”
“I came earlier to talk to you and I saw you with that guy. Who is he?” I shouldn’t have raised my tone, but too late.
Cammy got up, putting more distance between us. “It’s none of your business, but he’s just a friend.”
“Does he know that? Did you tell him you don’t have a boyfriend anymore? Are you telling me you want more time so you can decide whether you want him or me?”
Jealousy raged in me. Why can’t she give me a second chance? I get that she needs more time, but...
“Get out.” She pointed at the door. “For your information, he walked me to my apartment because it was late at night. We were in a study group. He was concerned for me. Were you concerned about me when you kissed that girl in front of all your freakin’ brothers? And another thing. We never talked about our future. You’re moving back to LA, and I’m going to be here. Did you not have the balls to break up with me, so you had to tell me by kissing what’s her face?”
“We-we didn’t get a chance to talk about it,” I stammered. “Maybe you were trying to tell me something by going behind my back and flirting with that guy.” Some corner of my brain knew I made no sense, but I was beyond mad. I breathed out. “Listen, we both should act like mature adults and stop before we say something we regret.”
Cammy scowled, her face as tight as ever. “Maybe you should have thought of that before you kissed that skank.”
I lost it and raised my voice. “I’m sorry, Cammy. I’ll say it thousands of times. She kissed me. Can you please forgive me and just move on together?”
Cammy rubbed her eyebrows with her thumb and forefinger. “If you saw me kissing a guy, could you forgive me?”
A trick question. “If he pushed himself on you like Caroline did, and you didn’t kiss him back, like me...” I stressed that point. “... then, yes.”
She tilted her head, her eyes unfocused, considering my answer. “I don’t know a whore that would push himself on me.” She smirked. “So, I get to kiss a guy. If you can handle it without freaking out, then I’ll give us a chance. If you lose it, then we’re done.”
“What?” I nearly choked. “You’re kidding, right?”
She angled her eyebrows with her arms crossed. “Would I joke about that?”
I shifted on my feet. “You’re going to kiss a guy and tell me about it?”
“No,” she drawled that one little word. “I’m going to kiss him in front of you.”
“Cammy. That’s crazy.”
“Is it? I want you to feel what I felt. Then you’ll know it’s not so easy to wipe the image of someone kissing me out of your mind.”
“Fine.” I massaged the back of my neck. “When are you going to do this?” And I couldn’t believe I made the most ridiculous bet with my girlfriend. Regardless of what she thought, we were still together. We hadn’t officially broken up, not yet.
“I don’t know.” She sounded hesitant. Perhaps she’ll change her mind?
“Fine. I can’t believe we’re doing this.” With that, I walked out the door, angrier than I’d been before.
Kiss another guy in front of me. I can handle it.
Whatever it would take to get her back.