Chapter One
The Break up
Cammy
“Don’t talk to me. Don’t you ever talk to me.” I crossed my arms tightly across my chest.
“Cammy.” Lucas lightly smoothed his ash brown hair, slicked back with gel, his chest heaving. “Please. Just listen. Nothing happened.”
“Bull. Shit.” My voice was lethal calm. I braced myself against the wall to keep from dropping to the floor. “I saw you kissing that...” My lips twisted, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth at the disgust of what he had done. “...That girl with my own eyes. Don’t...” I swore I wouldn’t cry, but the threatening tears streamed down with no mercy.
I took a step to the side and bumped into the back of the sofa when he took a step forward. Noting I wouldn’t let him near me, he stopped.
“Listen,” he tried, his jaw working. “She kissed me first. I didn’t kiss her back.”
Lies, lies, lies. I glared at him, not bothering to wipe my tears. “The hell you didn’t. I counted to five before you pulled away. I saw the way she flirted with you. I saw the way you flirted back.” I glanced at the mug on the dining table a few feet to the left of me, debating whether to hurl it at him.
He didn’t say anything, but his eyes showed a flicker of guilt.
“We’re done.” I yanked my keys and purse from the dining table, and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.
Quiet. It was so quiet in the hallway as I sprinted toward the elevator, unlike the screams of rage inside my head.
Icy fingers of agony gripped my heart. I never knew an emotion could physically hurt so much. I wanted to rip it out of my chest to make the pain go away. No, I should have ripped out Lucas’s heart. I wasn’t the violent type, but the thought did occur.
Lucas and I had started dating when we were juniors at New York University. We met in English class. It was almost love at first sight. We couldn’t get enough of each other, but for the past few months, we’d been drifting apart, bickering over little things.
Was that some kind of sign from the universe that we shouldn’t be together? Too late. Lucas had broken us apart. As I stared at the damned slow elevator, I realized I had made a mistake, a very huge, stupid one.
Turning in my new wedge sandals, I sprinted back, wiping the tears off my cheeks. I didn’t want him to see me crying again. Taking the key out of my back pocket, I opened the door and entered.
Lucas stood exactly at the same spot, looking just as pathetic with his shoulders slumped. His green eyes I had once found heavenly pleaded with me and... were those tears? Oh, no. He was not going to make me feel sorry for him. I was the one in pain, not him. He was the idiot who cheated on me.
“Cammy,” he said softly.
“Get out.” I pointed to the open door. Too caught up in rage, I had stormed out of my own apartment.
“You need to give her some time and space, asshole.”
I whirled toward the voice to see my roommate taking a sip of water at the dining table, facing her opened laptop, a textbook beside it. Her bedroom door had been closed, so I didn’t know she was home. She must have come out when I took off.
“We need to talk this over. Please, Cammy. Nothing happened.”
I shook my head and raised both of my hands as if that could prevent him from talking. “I can’t do this right now. I need to cool down.”
Knowing he wouldn’t leave, I went to my bedroom. Leah would kick him out. The front door slammed, confirming Lucas had left. I didn’t bother to close my door, knowing Leah would come right in.
“What happened?” Leah plopped on the bed beside me, her golden blonde hair bouncing on her shoulders. She wore low-rise jeans and a pink and white plaid shirt over a white, midriff-baring top.
I grabbed a tissue from my bedside table and blew junk out of my nose as tears continued to fall. After I managed to calm my breathing, I hugged my throw pillow like a teddy bear.
“I went to that stupid party for Lucas’s fraternity. I was about an hour late because of my night class. He knew I was going to be late. I decided to leave class early and found him kissing that redhead. I was too shocked to move, so I stood there like an idiot and watched their make out session. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The second Lucas saw me, I ran.”
Leah’s mouth dropped and her hazel eyes grew bigger. “You mean the same redhead you told me about last week? The one who couldn’t keep her paws off Lucas?”
I heaved a breath. “Yes.”
“Oh, Cammy. I’m so sorry, redhead or no.” She wrapped her arms around me.
I leaned into her shoulder and closed my eyes, hoping the tears would stop, but my heart... the dagger kept digging deeper as the reality of our relationship hit me, really hit me. Lucas and I—we were over.
Sure, we could talk about what happened. But why? I would never be able to erase the image of them kissing from my mind. How could I ever trust him again? The thought of him locking lips with hers and touching me after he made out with her gave me a horrid taste in my mouth. I didn’t even want him in the same room as me.
“What are you going to do?” Leah continued, her voice gentle.
“Over time I might be able to forgive him, but I will never be able to forget.” A soft cry seeped out of me. “I can’t believe he kissed her back. I can’t believe he cheated on me.” I sucked in air and bawled into my palms.
Leah caressed my arm. “Well, it’s his loss. I don’t mean to sound insensitive, but he’s not the one for you. It’s better to know now than later. My sister’s best friend got dumped on her wedding night. She fell into depression, and she was a mess for a couple months. Later, she found the love of her life. I promise, someone who was meant for you will come along. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon. You just wait and see.”
I believed in fate, but it was extremely difficult in my state of mind. “I know,” was all I could say.
“Let’s have girls’ night out as soon as we can all get together. Midterms are coming up, so not sure when, but I’ll call Tiffany, Julie, Vanessa, and Valerie. Okay?”
I nodded because I had nothing to say. I didn’t know if I could even make the effort to get out of the house except for going to my classes.
Chapter Two
Guilt
Lucas
There were no words I could say to make it right. Guilt slammed into me again as I tried to cover the truth of what I had done. Caroline really had kissed me, but I didn’t stop her. I freakin’ didn’t stop her, and I couldn’t understand why. Cammy and I had been going out for a year, and I really loved her. What the hell is wrong with me?
I could have blamed it on the alcohol, but I wasn’t anywhere near being buzzed. Caroline had been flirty, but she never aggressively came on to me. Cammy had warned me about Caroline more than once. She said it bothered her that Caroline and I were friends but Caroline had never tried to be friends with her. Though Cammy did attempt to make an effort to get to know Caroline. That didn’t go so well.
Caroline was not only a pledge from our sister sorority but my little sis as well. So in a way, I felt obligated to do things with her and get to know her better. I’d thought Cammy was jealous without a real reason, but after what had happened, I couldn’t say she was making things up.