“You’re right.” I blew out a hard breath. Here goes nothing. “This might sound out of the blue, but…I’m bisexual.” I noticed how she kept her features neutral, but I couldn’t unpack what that meant yet, not while I was in the thick of this confession. “Truth is, I’ve been attracted to a few guys over the years, but I’ve never acted on it.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry you’ve been keeping this inside.” She reached for my hand again, and I gave it willingly, needing my mom right then. “I can understand why when you were younger. But you could’ve told me after we left your father.”
Damn, even imagining confessing such a thing to my father made my stomach bunch up uncomfortably. His reaction might’ve ranged from punching me to kicking me out. Or worse—somehow blaming my mom, then smacking her around. He’d done it less often the older and bigger I’d gotten, and especially after a screaming match where I told him I’d kill him if I saw any more marks on her. I had meant it and saw in his eyes that he believed me. And that fear made me feel powerful but also terrified that he could become more erratic. But Dad seemed more careful after that, waiting until I was out of earshot to bully her. By then the damage was done, and words were as devastating, maybe even more destructive. And we were still reeling years later. Thank fuck we were finally free of him.
“Thing is, I’d never felt a pull to admit it out loud.” I’d never crushed on any guys from high school—that might’ve been a disaster or forced me out of the closet sooner. I knew I’d had it easier than most. “It wasn’t like I wanted to date anyone, male or female.”
“And now you do?” When I nodded, her eyes widened. “Do you mean Seth?”
My entire face heated up. “Right now we’re just hanging out. But I thought you should know, since he’s your friend and I’m your son, that I, uh, enjoy spending time with him.” Yeah, I really sounded like a kid with a schoolyard crush.
Mom clapped her hands and squealed. “I knew you had some sort of connection. Plus, you’re both the best kind of men, so you deserve—”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, please.” I winced, holding up my hand before she could go off on a tangent about relationships or whatever else.
“Okay, I understand.” She leaned closer, conspiratorially. “And by the way, a mother always knows.”
I shook my head and smiled, because of course she did.
After that confession, I was famished. We ate our pizza, talked and laughed like always. Mom was the best kind of person too, and she deserved to be happy—whatever that meant for her. I knew there would come a day she might date someone again. Tucker would roll his eyes and say the guy would have to go through me first. He wasn’t wrong. I wanted the man to be worthy of her. But Mom would have a field day if I said that out loud.
After walking Mom to her car, I slid into my own and drove to Seth’s apartment. I had been here before but never inside. If the elegant lobby and elevator were any indication, I was about to get an eyeful.
And I certainly did as he pulled open the door with a shy smile and I stepped inside. The place was modern, with contemporary furniture, granite countertops, and shiny stainless-steel appliances. Seth fidgeted as my gaze scanned the space, so I reached for his hand and gave him a chaste kiss on his lips, which seemed to relax him.
“Nice place,” I said, because it was true, but something about it niggled at me. It was too sterile, with none of Seth’s warmth. I continued checking stuff out as he led me to sit on the couch, then went to the kitchen to grab us a couple of beers—the fruity stuff for him and a regular draft for me.
“Do you keep these in your fridge?” I asked as I twisted the beer cap and took a needed swig.
“No, I…well, I got a six-pack last week in case you ever visited me.”
My heart clenched as I set down my beer and reached for his wrist. “Come here.”
He placed his beer beside mine on the coffee table and then came willingly, straddling my lap as I reached for his face and gave him a real kiss, tongue and all. “Thank you. You’re the best.”
“It’s no big deal.” He dipped his head, and my fingertips traced the rosy dots that alighted on his cheeks. We kissed some more because I couldn’t get enough of how his lips felt when melded to mine, and how the weight of him always seemed to settle against my chest with the perfect pressure. My dick had perked up as soon as our skin touched, but I ignored it for now.
As we pulled apart, my gaze snagged on the cabinet he’d purchased, now set in the corner of the room. “Nice addition,” I pointed out. “And you’re right; that is definitely you.”
“Told you so,” he replied, then seemed to survey his apartment as if from a different point of view. “But I don’t want to sound ungrateful. Anyone would want a place like this.”
I reached for his face. “Hey, it’s okay to want something different for yourself.”
We made out for a while longer before we got comfortable side by side on the couch, which gave my dick a needed break. I didn’t need to give him the impression I wanted to maul him every time we saw each other, though it was hard not to touch at least some part of him, even if it was only shoulders or knees.
“Wanna watch something?” he asked, and I nodded.
I had never held a guy’s hand before, so when he knotted our fingers together, it gave my heart a little jolt. Such a small thing, yet huge, and I already had so many firsts with Seth. Truth be told, he might’ve said the other night he was grateful his first time with a guy was me, but I was equally grateful it was him too.
He lifted the controller to click on the TV but then seemed to change his mind and turned toward me. “How’s Bonnie?”
Fuck, I had gotten so caught up in being with him, I almost forgot to fill him in.
“Good.” I cleared my throat. “I told her about us tonight.”
“That I’m your guy?” He dipped his head, mortification lining his face. “Sorry, that was dumb. It’s just that…you sent that text, and I didn’t know what to think of it, so I thought I’d ask, and oh my God, someone shut me up.”
I laughed and pulled him toward me for another kiss. “There. That shut you up.”
“It totally worked,” he said dreamily, then bit his lip. “What did Bonnie say?”
I smirked. “She was thrilled.”
His eyes softened. “She approves?”
“Definitely. But I did want to talk to you about…” I motioned between us. “About exactly what it is we’re doing.”
“Hanging out and liking each other?” he offered.
“Yes, that,” I replied with a smile. “I…uh…want you to know that I don’t plan on seeing anyone else, not while I’m exploring this with you.”
When his eyebrows pulled together, I knew I’d said the exact wrong thing.
“That didn’t come out right. I’m not just exploring my sexuality with you. I want… I like being with you, Seth. A lot.” His breath hitched as he stared at me. “I look forward to talking to you and seeing you. I’ve never really dated anyone before, but I want to try that with you, at least take you on a real date. I mean, if that’s something you’d want.”