He rolled off the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom, which we hadn’t even had a chance to explore yet, and when he returned, I looked openly at his nakedness as he stared blatantly at mine, even as a flush of color crawled over his cheeks. And as he was about to cross his arms to cover himself or say something self-deprecating, I shook my head. “Don’t. You’re beautiful, Seth. I’m lucky to be here with you.”
“I’m the lucky one.” He sat down beside me and gently swiped at the combined come on my stomach with the damp towel. My cock began swelling just from his hands being on me, and I knew we needed to get out of this room before I pulled him down on the bed with me again.
“Let’s check out the lake,” I suggested, standing up and pulling on my shorts.
“Good idea,” he replied, and began doing the same.
Once we slipped back into our sneakers near the welcome mat, I pulled open the door. “Last one to the dock is a rotten egg.”
“You don’t play fair,” he yelled after me as I hightailed it past the grill and fire pit to the lake. But the fucker was fast and gained on me as we got close to the water’s edge. He beat me onto the dock, then bent over holding his sides, grinning and panting. “I won fair and square.”
I sucked air into my lungs as I doubled over and conceded the win. When I finally caught my breath, I straightened and glanced out at the water. “Damn, it’s pretty.”
“It really is.” I followed him to the edge of the dock, where we sat down and watched a family of ducks swimming in the lake. The sun was beating down on us, but it felt perfect sitting quietly with him, each lost in our own thoughts.
After a while, he turned to me and squeezed my forearm. “Wanna grab the fishing poles? Not sure we’ll have many bites this time of day, but you never know.”
So we did and caught absolutely nothing that afternoon. But it never dampened the mood between us as we sat on towels with beers in our hands and our poles in the water, sometimes talking, sometimes lazily kissing.
Every now and again we’d see other people on the lake cruise by in speed boats or jet skis; they’d greet us with a wave, and I’d imagine what it might be like if this was our life together. I was getting ahead of myself again, but I decided right then that I wouldn’t mind it at all as long as Seth was with me.
Eventually we moved our towels under the shade of a giant willow tree. After an awesome nap, we went inside to shower—together, of course, to “conserve water.” We kissed and touched until the temperature turned lukewarm before prepping our steaks and baked potatoes and grilling out.
“Want to make a bonfire?” I asked as dusk descended upon us. I motioned toward the stack of wood kept near the porch, remembering the property manager telling us we were free to use it.
“I would love that,” Seth replied, so I stood up to gather the logs after I smooched his sun-kissed cheek. He helped collect kindling and leftover newspaper from inside to ignite the flames, and before we knew it, we had a roaring bonfire.
“Hang on,” I said after we pulled up chairs, then strode toward the cabin.
I came out a couple of minutes later, carrying the supplies I had previously stored in the cabinet.
“Wait a minute.” He blinked as he zeroed in on the marshmallows I placed on the chair. “We’re making s’mores?”
“We are,” I replied with a wink.
“How… When did you…?” His face broke out in a huge grin. “Thank you for this. For remembering.”
“You’re welcome.” I leaned down to kiss him soundly. “I got a pack of sparklers too, if we feel like it.”
I prepped the ingredients while Seth rooted around for decent sticks to use, and after stuffing three marshmallows on each, we placed them in the fire. “How do you like yours?” I asked him.
“Not too light or too dark—just right,” Seth explained in a serious tone, and I almost cracked a smile until I realized he was reminiscing in his own way about his childhood.
“Noted,” I said, watching him flip the stick to brown the other side.
He motioned to my stick. “Your marshmallows are burning.”
I arched a brow. “They’ll be perfectly melty inside, just the way I like them.”
He scrunched his nose and smiled. “That was my dad’s favorite way too. Mom would tell him his lips tasted charred, and they’d laugh. It was one of my favorite sounds.”
I reached for his hand, squeezed, and we stood that way for a long moment, watching the fire.
After we ate our first s’mores and declared them perfect, we made a second batch that neither of us could finish.
“They’re pretty sweet,” Seth declared, throwing his stick into the fire.
I kissed him on the head and encircled him in my arms, feeling a deeply satisfying contentment. “Just like you.”
31
Seth
We lit sparklers and moved them in circles, trying to spell our names like we’d both done as kids. Then we sat by the fire for hours. It was incredible. I climbed onto Jake’s lap because it was one of my favorite spots and I seemed to fit perfectly there. He danced his strong fingers up and down my spine or along my neck or arm, just touching me.
When the fire needed more wood, I climbed off him and added some, moving the pieces around to keep it burning, and then sat across his legs again.
I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t told him about my apartment yet. Not that it was a secret, but for some reason, I wasn’t ready to share it. I wanted to save this for me. It felt like something I did for myself, and I wanted to savor that a little longer.
“My mom and I, we don’t talk about the fact that I’m gay. She knows, but we avoid the topic. I don’t wear makeup around her. I’m never completely myself around her,” I whispered softly. I wasn’t sure what made me say that just then. I guessed it had been on my mind. I’d been making all these changes in my life—the apartment, the car, getting information from the cosmetology school—but how could I really move forward if I didn’t jump that hurdle as well? I had to stop letting my mom run my life, and I had to start being who I was all the time, not only my being gay or wearing makeup, but working where I wanted or buying what I wanted.
“Oh shit. I’m sorry. I guess I kinda wondered, but I didn’t know for sure.”
“I don’t even know that she’d care, not in the way some people do. It’s something she would feel she had no control over, or in her mind, another reason she has to protect me. She thrives on finding ways to have control over her life. When my dad died, she lost it again, so she’s done everything she can to keep that power over me.”
Jake brushed his lips gently against my neck, behind my ear. “I’m sorry. I know that’s not easy for you. It can be hard sometimes, wanting to protect those you love. I can understand that part of it, but that doesn’t make it okay. People need their independence. That’s something I’m still working on myself.”
“No.” I shook my head, my nose against his, and he chuckled. “You don’t do that.”
“Maybe not in the same way, but I have my issues too. I’m not perfect, Seth. I’m a work in progress like everyone else.”