“Ah, I see what you did there. I like the play on names.”
He grinned, and I grinned back, and damn, I could see why Mom liked him because now I liked him too.
“And you own this house,” he said, motioning with his hand.
I thought of his apartment and how luxurious it must be, while this place was… Well, it was mine, and that was all that mattered. I liked having someplace to call home. It was a small and cozy two-bedroom and the furniture was secondhand, but it suited me fine. “Yeah, I know it’s not much, but—”
“I love it,” he said, standing to stretch his legs. Something caught his eye on the bookshelf, and he walked over to a couple of framed photos of Mom and me from childhood. “She talks about you all the time, you know. So proud of you.” There was a wistfulness in his voice, like it really meant something to him to hear a mom speak that way about her son.
Now who was blushing? “Yeah…thanks.”
“It’ll be good for her to have a place of her own—” He stopped abruptly, his gaze snapping to mine. “Sorry, don’t want to misstep. I just…get it, I guess. The need for independence, to stand on your own, even if it’s scary.”
“No, it’s okay.” For some reason, I wanted to hear what he had to say.
“She needs to feel comfortable being by herself again.” That protectiveness arose inside me again, but I tamped it down because he was right. And because it was good for Mom to have friends and confide in them. “I understand that feeling because I do too.”
He looked over his shoulder, and we stared at each other across the space. I wanted to ask him so many things, but then there was the sound of the bathroom door opening and Mom swept into the room.
“Well, I…I better hit the road,” Seth stammered.
“So soon?” Mom asked. “How about one last game?”
Seth actually looked relieved as he turned toward the table again. “Deal.”
5
Seth
“Can I kiss you again?” Jake asked, and with that one simple question, my body relaxed into him even more.
“Yes.” It was amazing what asking could do, the power and confidence it gave the person receiving the question.
“You taste so sweet.” He pressed his lips to mine again. I was smiling, and he was too, before he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, then slipped his tongue inside for a taste. He kissed me so deeply, my toes curled. He kissed me like he was hungry for me, like I turned him on more than anyone ever had. But somehow I felt that it wasn’t simply a body that he craved, it was me specifically, and that it was true desire instead of a way to get off.
It flipped something inside me, and I climbed onto his lap, riding it, wanting more, to be wild and free and to unlock this secret part inside me that I was never brave enough to acknowledge was there. The one that had been almost snuffed out before it was ever able to build.
In that moment with him, I was sexy. I was wanted. Protected. Cared for. In control of what happened, rather than pushed or manipulated.
He rubbed his big hand along my erection, and I whimpered into his mouth, moving against him for more friction. His hand reached around, cupped my ass, slid down, and he rubbed his finger over my hole.
When I gasped and jerked my mouth away from him, he asked, “You okay?”
And it was perfect. He didn’t push or get mad at me or make me feel like a failure. “Yeah, I’m good.” I was incredible, actually.
Jake wrapped a hand around my cock, jerking me. I thrust into his grip, and it was so tight, with so much friction. My orgasm slammed into me, its ferocity taking me by surprise. Light flashed behind my closed eyelids as I shot my load all over before my eyes sprang open.
“Ah, shit,” I whispered to myself. Alone. In my bed. Where I’d just had a wet dream over a guy I’d seen twice. A totally gorgeous guy, of course. Jake was…he was so my type.
One that was likely straight and would think I was some weird creeper for having sex dreams about him.
God, I really, really needed to lose my virginity, but I also worried there was something wrong with me when it came to sex. I wanted it, but was afraid I’d get scared and freak out and be a tease.
Ugh! Get out of my head!
I pushed out of bed, sticky with come. It was better waking up that way than from a nightmare, at least.
My cheeks were flushed when I got into my bathroom. It was likely from being turned on, but also, at least partly, from being embarrassed. It wasn’t that I didn’t jerk off. I jacked off often, but I’d never had a random sex dream about a guy who would never have any interest in me.
I took my underwear off, cleaned up, and put another pair on. At this point, I knew I would be up for the night, so I slipped on shorts, gathered the sheets and my dirty clothes, and threw them in the washer.
After plucking my phone off the bedside table, I went into the living room and curled up in the corner of the couch. It was just after four in the morning. I’d be exhausted today, but hopefully I’d sleep better tonight, or at least get a nap later.
Dinner at Bonnie’s house had been really fun. I was sure it wasn’t what most twenty-one-year-old guys thought of as a good time, but I’d enjoyed it. Jake had a similar relationship with his mom that Dane had with his sister, which fascinated me. It was so different from what I was used to. I hadn’t played games with my mom and stepdad or talked and laughed with them the way Jake and Bonnie did. I had with my dad, though.
Plus, my mom had always been a workaholic. She’d try to go in on a day off, or work from home, but Dad was good at prying her away from her responsibilities and out of her shell. He’d get her to forget how afraid she was of being left the way her parents had left her, and she’d smile or laugh, and it would feel like we’d grown closer, before she’d remember to shut herself off again.
I wanted that—that kind of relationship with someone. It was one of the reasons Jesse and I were so close. He didn’t hold back on his friendship or affection with me. He never had. He made me feel safe and loved, even if only in a platonic way.
Sheesh, get a grip, Seth.
Luckily, I managed to fall asleep again for a few hours. It was Saturday, so I had to work that night. When I woke up from my nap, not having come all over myself in my sleep this time, I sat at the piano and practiced a couple of Paul Bley pieces I wanted to play in the Underground that night. Jesse and I got together some playlists, and we were planning to work on some more and rotate through them.
Around noon I finished getting ready for the day and found myself in my SUV, driving to Rose City Assisted Living. There was no real reason for me to be there, and I knew it was weird to like hanging out with old people, but I wanted something to do and, well, if I was being honest, I’d admit I wanted to see Bonnie. I was curious if she’d say anything about last night.
I parked my car and went to check in at the front desk.
“Hey, Seth. How are you?” Anne asked. She was a pretty black woman, with a shaved head and a kind smile. “I didn’t realize you were coming in today.”
“I wasn’t, but I brought my kit and thought I’d see if anyone wanted their makeup done.”
“You’re so sweet. I wish my son would find a nice boy like you. I’d introduce you, but he lives in Seattle. Keeps getting his heart broken.”