I stood to the side while he got in line to get the sodas. I spotted a small table in the shade and took it over. When he turned to look for me, I waved my hand to get his attention. He carried the drinks and sat down. Again, I could see there was something on his mind.
“Hot?” he asked.
“It’s not too bad. What about you?”
“Fine.”
I sipped on the soda before I decided the best way to find out what was on his mind was to ask him directly. “How are you? Like really, how are you?”
He frowned. “Fine. Why? Do I look ill?”
“No, you look devastating,” I said with a wink.
He grinned. “Devastating, huh? Does that mean you want to go in the bushes with me?”
He was flirting, which was definitely a good sign, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. He was reserved, holding something back. “You seem like you have something on your mind. Is it me? Work? What’s up?”
He sighed, shaking his head. “Nothing.”
“Okay. If you do decide it’s something and you want to talk about it, I’m here. I know you’re not a big talker and I’m not going to be a nag.”
He offered another small smile before sipping his drink and staring off into space. It was evident there was something. I wondered if it was Kade’s visit. Had they gotten in a fight? That could explain why he was suddenly available for the day. I hoped not. I hated to think of the two of them fighting.
They were very cute together. I loved watching the camaraderie. I loved that Kade accepted me with open arms. I could admit I let myself have a little fantasy about the three of us being pals and hanging out together in the future. And yes, I was already thinking about a double date with Nelle and Kade together. I had never been accused of not having an active imagination.
“You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry if I’m being a killjoy.”
“No!” I quickly answered. “You’re not being a downer at all. I’m having a lot of fun. I’m only asking because I care, and I can see you have something on your mind. If you don’t want to tell me, I get it. We can go on with our day. Sometimes, a day at the zoo is just what the doctor ordered.”
“I appreciate you asking. I guess I’m not so great at hiding everything. It’s just that seeing Kade got me to thinking about a lot of stuff. Stuff I have chosen to not think about for a long time.”
I sipped on my soda, waiting for him to go on. He was a tough cookie to crack and I didn’t want to push. “Stuff? Is that code for feelings and memories?”
“I haven’t seen him in over a year. The last time I saw him, it was maybe ten minutes and he was out the door. The last five years, I’ve maybe seen him a few hours.”
“Because he’s been in the service?”
“That and because I didn’t want to be around my dad. My dad and Kade are close. Well, as close as my dad can be to anyone.”
“Are you jealous?”
He seemed to mull it over. “Maybe a little. It’s more about me acknowledging I miss the kid.”
“That is very sweet. I saw you two together. You guys have a great relationship. I don’t think there is any breaking that bond. Now that you guys have reconnected, you have a chance to change.”
“I suppose you are right. I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“Is he gone gone or back at your dad’s?”
“I would guess he’ll be at my dad’s eventually,” he said.
“Why don’t you go too? You can surely take the time off work. Spend as much time with him as you can.”
He grimaced and shook his head. “I don’t think that is a good idea.”
“Because you don’t want to see your dad?”
“I don’t think he wants to see me.”
I hated to think of him feeling unwanted and unloved. It hurt my heart a little. “I’m sorry. I hate to ask, but are you sure? Is there a chance he is over whatever beef you guys had?”
He sighed. “It wasn’t just one beef. It was me. He doesn’t like me.”
“I refuse to believe that. You are a very likeable guy.”
He smirked. “You met my brother. He’s likeable.”
I grinned. “He is pretty damn likeable. Is he single?”
He eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“I’m kidding. I was only teasing.”
“Not funny,” he mumbled under his breath.
“It is funny. You are the total package.”
That seemed to make him feel a little better. “Thanks.”
“I don’t want to be nosey, and feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but what happened? That was too forward. I shouldn’t have asked.”
I thought he was going to tell me to fuck off. He didn’t. “Kade is perfect.”
I wrinkled my nose. “He’s a nice guy and easy on the eyes, but perfect? That’s a stretch.”
“Okay, if you keep telling me how good looking my brother is, I’m going to feed you to the lions.”
My smile erupted over my face. I liked his little jealous side. I liked that he wanted me all to himself. “Speaking of, let’s go. They should be getting fed about now.”
We got up, both of us carrying our sodas in one hand while we held hands. “You really are worthy,” I told him.
“My dad doesn’t see it that way. Him and your dad would get along very well.”
That stung. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I rub people the wrong way.”
“You rub me in all the right ways,” I said.
“Be careful,” he warned. “I am still thinking about taking you back into the penguin palace. There were plenty of dark corners.”
“I’m thinking that could be a little cold. The chill might cause some performance issues.”
He slowly shook his head as his eyes raked over my body. “I could never have any issues when it comes to you. I don’t care how fucking cold it is. You make me hot. You would melt away all the cold.”
“You are dangerous,” I breathed.
“So I’ve been told.”
“For what it’s worth, my dad is kind of a dick to everyone. I don’t even think he realizes when he is doing it. He’s very abrasive. He’s never really been that way with me, but I have seen him do it to countless people, students as well.”
“His reputation at the school isn’t great,” he said.
“How so?”
“He’s known as a hard ass. Everyone dreads taking his class, but it’s a requirement to get almost any engineering degree. I don’t want to talk too much shit about your dad, but he’s hardcore. He fails more than he passes.”
It was hard to hear that about my father. “I know I’ve said this before, but I’m sorry. I think I’ve had hero worship for so long, I wore blinders. I didn’t see or I chose to ignore the rude behavior and his condescending words to just about anyone he has ever encountered. Truthfully, I have apologized for his bad behavior for the majority of my life. I think I just stopped seeing it. If I don’t see it, I can’t be embarrassed by it.”
“My dad was a dick most of the time, but people expected it from him,” he said. “He was in uniform almost always. People saw the uniform and just gave him a free pass. I didn’t. I think that’s why he and I clashed. I didn’t think it was okay to treat people like shit.”