“Good, really good. I introduced him to Evie.”
His eyes widened. “No shit? That’s a big step.”
I shrugged. “It wasn’t that big of a deal.”
“It sure the hell is a big deal. Did he hit on her?”
“He didn’t dare. I would have beat his ass if he did.”
Charlie laughed. “Yes, I’m sure you would have.”
“Kade wants me to go up to Oregon,” I said, kind of testing the waters.
“Are you going to do it?”
“I doubt it.”
“Still don’t want to see your dad?” he asked.
“No. I don’t know. For so long, I have felt like a failure in his eyes. I have felt like I wasn’t worthy to be in his presence. Now, I’m not so sure about that.”
“What’s changed?”
“Evie. Evie has made me feel differently about the whole thing.”
I didn’t miss his sly smile. “Color me shocked.”
His sarcasm was warranted. “I know you’ve been saying it for years, but you are not as pretty or as eloquent as she is.”
He laughed. “I’m not sure that’s an insult.”
“She called me selfless.” I didn’t want to brag, but it was the first time in my life I had been called selfless. I had been called selfish more times than I could count. Even when I gave to charity and the grateful members of one board or another would call me generous, selfless felt completely different.
“Does that make you happy?”
“Yes, asshole,” I muttered.
“Just checking. You are an odd duck. I never know what gets you off and what pisses you off.”
“I’m not that odd. She said I’m selfless because although I didn’t go into the Marines and go kill bad guys, I am changing the world in my own little way.”
“Dude, I’ve been telling you that for years,” he said with disgust.
I shrugged. “I guess I wasn’t listening. You aren’t as pretty as she is. When she said it, it meant something.”
“It meant something when I said it,” he protested.
“You sound like a jealous lover,” I warned him.
“You are changing the world. If you can figure out this rudder problem, you will not only change the world but change my life. I’ll have weekends off. I’ll get to work a normal eight-hour day. I might even get to take a real vacation.”
“I don’t want to put you out of work,” I teased.
He laughed, shaking his head and pointing toward the harbor. “There are a lot of old ships out there. I’ve got enough work to last me three lifetimes.”
“This is true.”
“It really is a game changer,” he said. “What you are doing is going to just make life easier for the world in general. People want goods faster. They don’t want to pay ridiculous shipping fees. You are making it all the better. That award you won is just the first of many. I’m sure you are going to have yourself a Nobel prize in the near future.”
I sipped the horrible coffee. “I have to admit, I never did any of this because I wanted to change the world. I didn’t do it because I was thinking about global warming or climate change. The designs just made sense. I don’t need awards or recognition. Selling my ships is enough.”
“Yeah, because you make a lot of money.”
“That doesn’t hurt,” I answered honestly. “If people are willing to pay, I’m willing to do my part for mankind.”
“And you are a scientist,” he agreed. “Scientists look at facts. You saw a problem and you fixed it. You weren’t looking for accolades, awards, or a pat on the back. You got rich for the right reasons. You weren’t screwing anyone over.
“No, I wasn’t and I’m still not. I would like a little acceptance from my father. And hers. I would like for them to be able to admit I’m not a total loser. They don’t even have to tell me I did something good. I just want them to look at me with decency and not complete disdain.”
“You are not a loser. I don’t think anyone actually thinks that. How can they? You are the most successful guy I know. You are right up there with Gates and Jobs.”
I laughed. “I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to be. That’s way too much pressure.”
“You are whether you like it or not. You’ve only been doing this for ten years. Just think what you will come up with in the next ten. Like this rudder problem. You are going to fix it and it is going to revolutionize the shipping world. I bet you’ll have it so good, these ships will come into the harbor like a Ferrari. Tight corners, speed, and steering like they are on rails.”
“Yeah, I don’t see that happening. If you think that’s possible, you have no business doing what you do.”
“Like it or not, you are doing selfless things. You can call it making sense, but you choosing to make ships more efficient is pretty fucking cool.”
“Thanks.”
“It makes you just a little less of a dick,” he added.
“Gee, just a little?”
He held up two fingers and put them very close together. “That much and that is being generous.”
“Call me when you get that thing up and out. I’m going back to my office to work on some stuff.”
“You mean my new rudder. You are going to work on my new rudder.”
I got to my feet and shrugged. “It isn’t like it’s going to just fall out of my head. Even if what I’m thinking does work, it’s going to take some time. You know that.”
“I do know that and I’m okay with waiting. I know you’ll do it.”
“I’ll talk to you later,” I told him and headed for my car.
I had an itch to sketch. My brain was being bombarded with a hundred different ideas. I didn’t know what would work and what wouldn’t, but I was going to solve the issue. It might not be tomorrow or even the next month. I would figure it out. I was looking forward to having something to work on, to fixate on.
I drove to the office, forcing myself to focus on my driving. I did get a little distracted when I had a new puzzle to solve. I could get obsessed. I tried to tell myself to keep it in check. Maybe things would be different this time. Evie would keep me from getting too wrapped up in the project. She would force me to leave the office. She would make me eat and shower.
And hopefully want to distract me in other ways.
When I got to the office, I closed the door, making it clear I was not to be disturbed. I was going to give the project my full attention for the day. I rubbed my hands together and pulled out my yellow pad. That was where it always started.
I had to purge the millions of thoughts pelting my brain. Once I got it on paper, I could begin to sort through it all. I reached for the fresh pack of Post-its. My office was about to get very messy.
I grinned, thinking of the coming days. It had been a long time since I’d gotten to design. It was like taking a hit from my favorite drug after giving it up for a long time.
Chapter 36
Evie
It was just after five when I pulled into the shopping center. I had tried to get off work earlier, but with the day off on Monday, I was swamped. I couldn’t neglect my friends. At least, that was what Nelle had said when she demanded I take part in some retail therapy. I called her to find out where she was.