That thought brought a new wave of adrenaline that felt a lot like fear. What if I was setting myself up for failure again? What if I was falling into what was easy and all of it meant nothing?
My phone vibrating pulled me out of my head, and when I saw Ian’s name on the screen, I rushed to pick up.
“She’s napping,” I greeted, already smiling.
“Well, it’s a good thing I called to talk to you.”
His deep voice rumbled across the line and shot straight to my core. “Did you need to ask me something?”
“Can’t a man just call his baby-mama and say hello?”
“I cringe every time you call me that.”
“It’s true though.”
“All right, sperm donor,” I deadpanned.
“At your service, whenever you need me.”
I couldn’t hold back my laugh no matter how much I tried to keep it in.
“What are you up to?”
“Watching a movie?”
“Porn? Please say porn?”
Another laugh. “No, but I did find your stash. Quite a collection there.”
If I expected him to be embarrassed, I would have been disappointed. “Man, you dug in the back-back of my movie collection. That stuff is from my teen years. Now, I just use the internet.”
“I shudder at your search history.”
“Oh, you know exactly what I like.”
His voice was soft and seductive, pulling me into memories of our date. Heat infused my cheeks, and I struggled to keep my breathing even. This conversation was taking a turn, and the fact that the thought of falling into phone sex with Ian didn’t completely turn me off, had me forcing the topic change.
“I found Monty Python and the Holy Grail.”
“Good choice. I haven’t seen it in forever. Maybe we can watch it when I get home.”
Home. Each time he called the place we lived together home, I melted and took a few more steps toward that cliff.
“Yeah,” I answered breathlessly. “What are you doing up so late?”
“Dinner ran long.”
“Who’d you meet with?”
“The main foreman and his daughter. Apparently, she’s in town for a photoshoot, and he asked if she could come. I figured why not.”
Because who would turn down dinner with a model? That was what I wanted to say; instead, I went with a much more eloquent answer. “Oh.”
“Yeah, it went well.”
“Good.”
“I can’t wait to get back home to my girls.”
And just like that, the sinking feeling of imagining him with some model vanished.
“We can’t wait to see you too.”
“I miss you.”
And unlike the time when I dropped him off at the airport, I didn’t hesitate to say it back. “I miss you too.”
“I’ll call you tomorrow. Maybe we can FaceTime?”
“Yeah, Audrey will like that.”
I didn’t have to say it for both of us to hear that I would like it too.
And that thought brought me a little bit closer to the edge again, both terrifying and exhilarating me.
Ian
Day Ten:
Ian: Chinese or Mexican?
Carina: What?
Ian: Which do you want for dinner?
Carina: What????
Ian: …
Ian: You took too long. I chose Mexican.
I slid my key into the lock and opened the door just as my phone vibrated in my pocket. Carina’s head jerked up from where she stood in the middle of the room, a confused look scrunching her face. When she took me in standing there, her look changed to something else.
Something I had never seen before. At least, not unless it came with an eye roll.
She looked…happy.
No, not happy. But joyful.
I barely had time to drop my bags before she was across the room and in my arms. My hands went to her slim waist, and I was drowned in the masses of her long hair as she buried her head in my neck.
I would have been less surprised if Audrey came running across the room into my arms.
“You’re home early.”
Home. I’d never get tired of hearing her say that. The fact that I could feel her breath on my skin as she said it, lit me on fire.
“I missed my girls.”
I’d just begun to fully embrace her when she let go and stepped back, clearing her throat and looking down at the floor before peeking up through her lashes. “Sorry. That was a bit much.”
“Nah. I think it was just enough.”
She stared for a bit longer before dropping her eyes again. The moment grew tense, and I didn’t want to ruin the warm welcome with her overthinking it, so I didn’t push and picked Audrey up from her rocker.
“Were you that bad that Mommy actually missed me?”
I held her close and breathed in her sweet baby scent I’d grown addicted to. Kissing her fat cheek, I relished the feeling of being whole with her in my arms.
“Say, no. You’d never be that bad,” I baby-talked and smiled. “You’re an angel.”
Her big blue eyes blinked up at me before the most magical thing happened. Her little cheek twitched until she was giving me a gummy smile.
“Holy shit! She smiled,” I said to Carina but didn’t take my attention off Audrey. “Did you smile for me? Yes, you did. Yes, you did.”
“I should record this and send it to Erik.”
“Don’t you dare. He’d post it on the company website.”
Carina came over to stroke Audrey’s cheek, and I soaked in her citrus and lavender scent as well. I had to fight from turning my head and burying it in her neck to breathe more of her in.
It’d been the longest week of my life being away from my girls. Even with all the messaging and FaceTime. Each time I talked to Carina, I expected her to call me out on including her with Audrey when I called them “my girls,” but she never did. Not that it would have mattered. They both were, whether Carina would admit it or not.
“I was just about to put her down,” Carina said.
“I’ll do it. You grab the plates, and we can eat once she’s asleep.”
It was maybe ten minutes of rocking and bouncing before Audrey’s eyes slid closed despite how hard she fought to keep them open. Part of me wanted to keep her in my arms, but I was looking forward to dinner with Carina. So, I sat her in her sleeper and headed to the dining room where Carina had everything set up.
“Let me guess you wanted Chinese?”
She glowered but smiled a radiant smile. “Actually, Mexican sounded good.”
I stumbled back and put my hand to my chest. “Did hell just freeze over? Is this a dream?”
She laughed and slapped my shoulder. “Sit down and eat before I change my mind.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I’d just taken my first bite when she asked, “How are you here?”
“Well, Miss Russo, there’s this flying metal box they call an airplane. It’s magical and amazing.”
She laughed and rolled her eyes. I knew I was a goner for this woman when I even missed watching her daily eye rolls.
“Shut up.”
“I rushed some meetings and took the soonest flight home. It was too long of a trip anyway.”