“Thanks, Mom,” Erik said, coming over to give Ian a manly, backslap hug.
“Ian brought me a baby,” she practically swooned, looking down at a now awake Audrey. Her wide eyes blinked, taking in the crowded room. Momma Brandt looked about ready to burst, and I couldn’t help but smile. When someone looked at your child with that kind of love, you automatically approved of them. “But first, let me gather my manners.” She shook her head at herself and turned to me. “Hello, dear.”
“Momma Brandt, this is Carina. Carina this is Amelie.”
I considered offering her my hand to shake, but something told me this woman didn’t do handshakes. She stepped forward and embraced me, pulling me down to squeeze me tight and rock back and forth. I’d never had a hug from a mother, but something told me this woman did it the best.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Carina.” She stepped back but held onto my hands. “And I promise it’s not just because of that adorable squishy baby.”
“It’d be okay if it was. She’s pretty adorable.” We both laughed and then she finally gave in and held her arms out for Audrey, who Ian had just taken out of her car seat.
Amelie gushed over her orange dress and thick thigh high stockings that exposed the rolls on her chunky little legs.
“Carina, this is my husband, Luka, and I understand you know my daughter, Hanna.” A tall man stood with his arm around Ian, after some more manly hugs. He gave me a firm handshake before looking down at Audrey. Hanna lifted her wine glass from where she stood by Erik and Alexandra in greeting.
Three kids came barreling through the room, followed by four other people I discovered were Erik’s aunts, uncles, and cousins.
“Hanna, can you take their coats, please?” Amelie asked.
“Nonsense,” Ian said, winking Hanna’s way. “I know where it all goes. I’m hardly a guest here.”
I swallowed down the jealousy at Ian’s wink to Hanna and the smile she gave in return.
“Erik, when are you going to give me grandbabies?”
Erik gave a deadpanned stare like this wasn’t the first time his mother had asked. “I’m assuming Alexandra would want to finish college first.”
Alex gave a rueful smile and tucked her hair behind her ear, looking down. Sometimes I forgot how young she was. Kids probably weren’t on her twenty-year-old mind.
“Don’t worry, Amelie,” Ian said, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head as he walked by with our coats. “You’re basically her surrogate grandma.”
Amelie smiled down at Audrey, brushing their noses and talking baby-talk, getting a gummy smile in return. Her shoulders shrugged on a heavy sigh. “I guess I should hand her back so I can finish dinner.”
“Do you need help with anything?” I offered. Ian said she did it all, but I had to try, at least.
“Absolutely not. Ian, get your girl a drink and go relax.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
I was bouncing Audrey in my arms, taking in the photos on the wall when Ian brought me a bottle of water. One picture had me pulling up short and leaning in to get a closer look. “Hanna’s a twin?”
“Yeah.”
Something in Ian’s tone had me turning to look at him, but he wasn’t looking at me. His eyes were trained to the photo of the two younger-looking Hannas. His clenched jaw and haunted eyes had my mind racing. Had something happened between him and the other twin? Was I jealous of the wrong woman? Maybe he was so close to Hanna because she reminded him of who he truly wanted?
“Is she here?” I asked, my voice tight.
After a long blink, he finally answered. “No.”
“Oh.” My mind reeled trying to understand the devastated look covering Ian’s face. I felt like I was missing something. “Why not? Does she live too far away?”
His eyes were dark and blank when he finally looked at me, and I should have known the answer before he even said it. No one in this kind of family let distance keep them away. “She died.”
“Oh, shit,” I breathed. God, I felt like an asshole. I was jealous of someone who wasn’t even alive. “I’m sorry, Ian,” I said, offering comfort with my hand in his. He linked our fingers together and squeezed.
“It’s not something we really talk about.”
I opened my mouth to ask more when Amelie called from down the hall. “Dinner’s ready.”
With one last squeeze, he led me to the long table. A folding table was added to the end to accommodate all the guests. Another table stood off to the side for the kids.
We all crammed into our spots, passing food around the table, making jokes and poking fun. It was loud and controlled chaos. It was wonderful. Although, I slapped Ian’s hand more than once when he kept stealing my food.
“It tastes so much better from your plate,” he explained.
I rolled my eyes and stole a scoop of his mashed potatoes in return.
Once the meal was over, Amelie finally broke down and let a few of us help clean up. I was walking back from the restroom when I stopped at the entryway of the living room. Ian sat back on the couch a sleeping Audrey sprawled on his broad chest. While that sight always stole my breath, it was the woman sitting next to him that had me stopping in my tracks.
A heavy rock settled in my stomach as I took them in crammed right next to each other, her side completely pressed to his.
Everyone had filled up the living room, playing games and watching football, so it wasn’t like there was anywhere else for her to sit. But did she have to lean into him to stroke Audrey’s cheek? Did she have to look up at him like the sun set on him? Did she have to laugh lightly and squeeze his leg when he told a joke?
The worst part was that those weren’t even the biggest questions flooding my head. No, the one roaring the loudest, flooding every cell in me with doubt and hurt, was why wasn’t Ian stopping her? He even patted her hand resting on his knee. He smiled down at her with his casual smirk I wanted to claim as just mine.
I closed my eyes, counting to ten and barely swallowing down the need to shout across the room for her to stop touching him.
Bile rising in my throat and the squeezing pressure on my chest reminded me of the first time I realized Jake and Jackson were closer than I thought. The feeling consumed me and tried to pull me down into a panicked spiral. I couldn’t stand there and watch them anymore because the more I saw, the easier it was for my mind to convince me that history was repeating itself.
I stepped into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and rolling my neck to ease the muscles pulling tight. I never wanted to feel this again, and I sure as hell didn’t want to stand by and let it happen, allowing it to grow and get worse in my silence.
No, I wasn’t going to allow someone to step in this time. I sucked in a deep breath, stretching my lungs to the max, forcing the muscles to relax and grabbed a bottle of beer. Pulling my shoulders back, I walked—strutted—into the living room to my man. The tension eased when I stood in front of Ian, and his eyes tracked from my hips to linger on my breasts before finally meeting my eyes with undeniable heat.
Ignoring everyone around us, even blocking out Hanna, I held the beer up, letting my eyes track over him too. “Trade?”
I decided not to feel bad that I used my sultry sex voice to ask if Ian wanted to trade our baby for beer in a room full of people. I had a point to make, and a crowd wouldn’t stop me. For the most part, everyone ignored us, but I could feel Hanna’s eyes glued to our every move.