But it wasn’t a joke because Carina kept staring, not saying anything. She stepped back again, and I didn’t like the distance she was creating. I didn’t like the idea of having to censor myself around my family—of distancing myself from someone who didn’t have feelings for me, just because Carina believed she did. Hell, she’d only been around her a handful of times.
“I’m not going to stop being around her,” I said rationally. “I work with her. She’s like a sister to me. My family.”
Carina took an aggressive step forward, her eyes sparking—no longer calm. “I’m your family. We are your family.” She swallowed and collected herself. “You need to make it clear that you’re taken and there’s no chance of you and her.”
Was Carina doing this to drive a wedge between us? Was she scared about my comment about wanting more babies with her—about what we just shared and was trying to push me away? The thought burrowed under my skin, pricking at my own irritation. She barely acknowledged our relationship, held me at a distance for so long, and here she stood making demands.
“Am I taken, Carina? Or are we doing this until you want to pretend we didn’t?”
“That’s not how this is,” she said, her voice cracking.
“Then, how is it?”
She swallowed and squeezed and relaxed her hands. The more time I spent around Carina, the more I got to know her tells, and her hands were giving away her nerves. “I—I…care for you.”
“What a benevolent declaration,” I deadpanned.
Her shoulders rose and fell on a deep breath, and all irritation was sapped from my body when she lifted wet eyes to mine. “I can’t be cheated on again, Ian.”
Everything in me softened, and I pulled her into my chest. I was being a dick. We both came into this relationship with our own baggage, and we both were bringing it to this argument.
She sniffed, and I held her tighter, stroking my hand up and down her back, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. “I’ll say something, okay?”
“Yeah?”
“Yes. If it makes you feel more comfortable, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Thank you.”
Maybe Carina saw something I hadn’t because whenever I looked at Hanna, I saw the kid who always hung around Erik and me. I saw the fragile woman who’d suffered too much and needed some kindness her way. But maybe all the hugs and laughs and the way she sat next to me every chance she got meant more to her. I dreaded bringing it up.
“Just let me do it my way. Hanna is sensitive. She’s been through more than most.” That was an understatement.
“Okay.” She nodded her head and lifted her wet eyes to mine.
“You need to trust me,” I ordered.
Only a moment of hesitation before she finally agreed. “Okay. I do.”
“Good.” I leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose. “Now, let’s go home and have makeup sex.”
26 Ian
Everyone collected their files at the end of another meeting and piled out back to their offices. I tried to smile at Hanna, but she’d barely looked at me for the past week. I can’t help but wonder if Carina was wrong about Hanna and that maybe I don’t need to bother saying anything to her. She obviously wasn’t in love with me. She’d been avoiding me since Thanksgiving.
Carina’s fears were obviously conjuring things that weren’t there.
“Hey, Little Brandt,” I called to Hanna. Maybe if I was more direct, I’d get a better feel for her mood. “You want to grab lunch?”
“Can’t. I’ll already be here late, so I’m working through lunch.”
She gave a forced smile, her usually vibrant green eyes duller. Was something else bothering her? My protective big brother alarm was going off, and my first instinct was to soothe her. I’d always been there for Hanna. And Sophie when she’d been alive too. The Brandts were my family, and despite Carina’s concerns, I wasn’t going to abandon Hanna when she was so obviously hurting.
I pulled her into a hug, and it only took a moment before her slim arms wrapped around me. Looking down, I was relieved to find the first genuine smile I’d seen all week. The same smile she’d given me when she was eight. Hanna was definitely not in love with me.
“Yeah,” I said, commiserating with the late night ahead of me. “I should get some work done too. Next time.”
“Okay. Definitely next time.”
She gave me another smile and was about to turn away when I stopped her. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
It was a coward’s approach, but if Hanna did have anything going on, she could come to me, and I could avoid bringing up a potentially beyond awkward topic. Carina had asked me to talk to her, but if there was nothing to talk about, she’d understand, right?
A voice told me she wouldn’t, but I shoved it down, giving Hanna the opening to talk to me about any misplaced feelings.
Hanna’s eyes softened. “Thanks, Ian. You’re always there for me.”
“Always will be, kid.”
With a nod, she headed back to her office the floor below, and I headed to mine with a weight lifted off my chest.
I’d been working non-stop when my cellphone vibrated across my desk.
“Bergamo,” I answered.
“Ian?”
Carina’s soft voice had me sitting back from the computer and smiling. I’d never tire of hearing her say my name.
“Hey, babe. What’s up?”
“You coming home tonight?”
I looked at the time. “Shit. I didn’t realize it was so late. I’m trying to finalize this contract. I can finish it tomorrow though.”
“It’s okay. Finish it tonight and that way you’re home tomorrow night. No need to stay late two days in a row.”
“You sure?”
“Of course. Is Erik staying late too?”
“Nah. It’s just me, myself, and I shutting down the building.”
“Poor baby.”
“I know. Promise to soothe me later with a blow job.”
She snorted her laugh, and I could imagine her rolling her eyes perfectly. “You wish.”
“I do wish. I’ll see if I can earn it when I get home.”
“I can’t wait.”
“Bye, babe. Tell Audrey goodnight for me.”
“Bye.”
I hung up and let the happiness of my life wash over me. I had a beautiful, smart, caring girlfriend and probably the best baby that was ever created. All waiting for me at home and I couldn’t wait.
I threw myself into my work so I could get home sooner. I was finishing up a few final details when Hanna knocked on my open door. She had her purse, and coat cinched tight.
“Heading out?”
“Yeah. In a bit. I just wanted to see if you happened to still be here.”
I rolled back my chair and held my arms wide. “In the flesh.”
Hanna stepped into my office, setting her purse down and taking a deep breath.
“You said I could talk to you,” she started, fidgeting with the tie around her coat, not meeting my eyes. “Well, there is something I’ve wanted to say for a while and the more time that passes, the more my chance of saying it slips away.”