Okay? Jens thinks he is hardly okay. He is fucking dying here. Turned on and terrified. Because he doesn’t know what he is doing, and he wants this. God, he wants this to be good. To be amazing. He wants Axel to regret nothing, to not even contemplate that this could end in disaster. Because Jens won’t let it. He won’t. He fucked them up once, and now, God, he doesn’t even know how or why or what, but he remembers. He remembers this.
There are a lot of things he has let himself forget. How he would kiss Axel’s neck in the dark. He was only nineteen. Horny and greedy, but he had still done it. Let his hand snake around the front of the boy lying next to him on the bed and reached down in his pants. Stroked Axel through the fabric of his y-fronts. Let his fingers tremble across the skin underneath. Teasing and touching. Letting his mouth wreak havoc on the skin pressing against him. Bruising the softness of his neck while the strands of his hair danced on his face, with his lips and fingers, and a firm grip on a cock that definitely wasn’t his own. Pumping faster and faster as Axel was desperately trying to stay still. Stay quiet. Not whimper and moan. He would though. Make those noises that made Jens see red. Like a moth to a flame.
He would let his hand pump. Hard and fast. It wouldn’t take long until Axel was shaking against him. Whimpering and groaning and wet hot liquid spilling over Jens’ hand. Jens would wipe his hand on the duvet cover and Axel would hold onto his arms like he was about to fall off the edge of the earth, and Jens would hold him, hold him hard and tight with Axel’s sweaty back against his own panting chest until their breathing would calm down and Axel would pretend to go to sleep.
And Axel would lie in his arms and Jens would rut against his back. Just tiny little movements until he would let himself release. Breathing heavily into the damp hair on Axel’s head. Pressing heady little kisses into his skin.
They never talked afterwards. Never mentioned it.
And here they are again. And Jens wants. He wants things to be different. To be right.
“Axel, I need you. I need to...”
“What do you need, baby. Tell me what you need.”
“I want to make you feel good.”
“Just being here with you makes me feel good Jens. Tell me what you want. Can I use my mouth on you? Can I blow you? Would that be okay?”
“You would do that?” Jens is blushing. He sounds like a teenager.
“I would love to do that. And I would enjoy every second.” Axel is smiling. Teasing. Damn him. And Jens' breath is not right. His own heartbeat deafening in his ears.
Jens feels like he is floating. Floating on horny adrenaline and Axel’s hand that is stroking his balls and then there is kissing going on and Jens thinks he might come before Axel even gets his mouth anywhere near his cock. Which would be a shame because right now Jens cannot think of anything he wants more than Axel’s lips around his cock. Like right now.
He lets out an embarrassing excuse for a whimper when Axel’s mouth starts kissing its way down his now bare chest, with his t-shirt scrunched up around his neck, and Axel’s jumper flying across the room as soon as Jens manages to drag it over his head. Because Jens needs skin and Axel’s skin is beautiful. All chest and muscle and that V thing that trails down to his soft flannel trousers that are riding dangerously low over his hips.
Jens’ breathing is not right. It’s definitely doing funny things. Because he is lying here, in his bedroom. In the flat. And he is about to get a blowjob. From Axel. Which is just... Jens doesn’t know what to make of it.
Half of his brain thinks that this might just be so fucking wrong. But Axel looks up at him and smiles. Keeps their eyes locked as he slowly, painfully slowly, places a kiss on the top of Jens’ cock. Right on the slit. Which makes Jens pump a squirt of something wet from his cock and let out a groan that he doesn’t even recognise as his own voice. It’s just incredibly sexy. A little dirty. Amazingly hot. And very, very much Axel.
Axel has his tongue out now, and Jens is craning his neck as far as it will reach, so that he can see. So that he can watch as Axel’s mouth takes him. Lets him sink into the warmth and the pressure and then Axel sucks. Sucks him like a piece of candy with tongue and cheeks and Jens lets his head fall back against the pillows and he roars. It’s just too intense. Too horny. Too long. It’s been too long since he last felt like this.
Axel’s mouth is a menace. Jens doesn’t even know what he is doing with his tongue, but his hips can’t stay still, and his heels are digging into the mattress, and one hand is gripping the headboard while his other is tugging awkwardly at Axel’s hair.
He is probably pulling too hard, but Axel is making these little dirty noises even though his mouth is full, and his body is kind of humping against Jens’ leg that has somehow ended up between his knees, and then Axel’s hand is trying to hold his other leg down, and Jens is arching up hard and he is coming. He is coming, right there into Axel’s mouth, and Axel is letting him. Sucking and teasing. He is coming hard and heavy, and his mind is falling into blackness and his mouth is shouting.
Shouting and roaring and then suddenly, he is panting against Axel’s cheek as there is a body slumped on top of him with arms curling around his neck and Axel is right there, holding onto him, rocking his body gently and nuzzling into his neck, and bringing him back down. Anchoring him back into reality. Back onto the bed on a sunny afternoon in a flat somewhere in Oslo. Where Jens Sommerfeldt just got blown. By a guy. By his Axel. And he can’t stop laughing. He can’t stop kissing Axel’s face. He can’t stop.
Holding and stroking and burying his face in Axel’s hair.
“I want to make you come, too.” He laughs. “It’s only fair.”
“You already did.” Axel giggles. “I came in my pants like some desperate teenager. Right before you.”
“Oh God, you didn’t, did you?” Jens’ hand finds its way to the front of Axel’s flannel trousers, and yup.
“Eurgh, baby. You are all wet.”
And Axel laughs. He laughs that brilliant laugh that only Axel does. The laugh that makes Jens feel like it's Christmas morning or something.
“Your fault. You are just so damn sexy. I couldn’t hold it. Sorry.”
Jens just looks at him. They lie there and look into each other’s eyes like some love-struck teenagers. There is just so much to be said and neither of them can find the words.
“I can’t believe you’re here Axel.” Jens finally whispers. Fingers twisting in Axel’s hair.
“There is nowhere else I would rather be.” Axel whispers back. Leaning up to leave a soft kiss on Jens’ lips.
“I know this is not going to be easy, with my kids. I have to work every day and sort out the kids and all, but Axel… I want you… I want you in my life… I know it’s only been a few days, but I don’t want to mess this up.”
“You won’t, Jens. As long as we talk, and we are honest, and try, then I can’t see how we couldn’t make this work. Somehow. Because I think we have the basics down. It’s not like we don’t know each other. And we love each other…”
Axel quietens. Lies his head down against Jens’ chest. Lets Jens hand slowly stroke his hair. A small kiss the top of his head. Strong arms holding him tight.