Little Harbour(3)
Author: Sophia Soames

Like everything else he will have to Google it. So, he does. On the tram. With Marthe asleep on his lap and Mikki whinging that he wants to play some game on Pappa’s phone right now. Like Now. Yesterday. Tugging at his sleeves and wiping snot on Jens’ shirt sleeve while Jens tries to type in, ‘Where do you buy shoes that fit a two-year-old in Oslo?’ He almost adds, ‘Please and Thank you.’ at the end. Google is not always his friend.

Okay. Here we go. PNN.no delivers again. ‘Best buys in Children’s shoes for spring: see our definitive list here:’

He clicks the link, silently praying that he can order online. Figure out what size she needs from some handy flow chart.

He shushes Mikki again. Kisses his hair and tells him to, “Please be good for two more minutes, so Pappa can sort something out for Marthe, so Pappa won’t get shouted at by Solveig tomorrow,” because Jens doesn’t think he can handle another public dressing down.

Mikki does as he is told. Leans into his father and stares at the screen waiting for the site to load. PNN.no has a new columnist apparently, the headline screams on the homepage.

Meet Axel Kleve. Norway’s favourite Midwife.

Edward Munch School, Central Oslo

Twenty years earlier

11.52

To [email protected]

From [email protected]

Subject: Year 3 Buddy project

Hi Axel. I guess you had the memo about this new project where year 2 people get a buddy in year 3 and they can then ask all sorts of questions about applying for Uni, and Graduation stuff and yeah, all that stuff.

Well congratulations. You ended up with me. Not that I will be of much use to you if you want to ask stuff about graduation stuff because I know shit about that. I do know how to apply to Uni and how to get out of handing in your final Norwegian project on time though. And the best place to have a smoke at school without getting caught. So, you see I am useful in some respects.

Anyway. Ask away. I will be happy to share whatever I can be of help with.

Yours Sincerely

Jens Sommerfeldt ST3B

12.14

To [email protected]

From [email protected]

Subject Re: Year 3 Buddyproject

Hi Jens, Thanks for your mail.

I’m not sure about Uni, as I haven’t got a clue what I want to do when I grow up. I can barely think beyond next week to be honest. But if you have any tips on how I will pass the Norwegian test tomorrow then let me know. I can’t stand poetry and Ibsen sucks eggs. Honestly. Who reads that shit?

Anyway, Nice to meet you, or not, or Nice to mail with you.

What are you going to study at Uni?

Best Regards

AxelST2A

12.20

To [email protected]

From [email protected]

Subject: Year 3 Buddy project

Hi Axel

Ibsen is cool. I can help you with that if you fancy hanging out over a coffee and a copy of ‘Norwegian Greats: The history of Norwegian literature’ book. I bet that’s the one you are reading for the test? I remember it well. Almost killed me. Let me know.

I have applied for loads of different courses and really want to do Media and the Arts, but my grades kind of suck so I guess I must wait and see if I get a place.

I’m not into the whole graduation thing. I can’t dance. I can’t sing and I am not that bothered about it all. I just want to finish school and get out of here now. Start my life. Move out of my parents’ house. Do you know what I mean?

Anyway. Let me know if you want to meet up and study. I’m a good tutor. I talk a load of shit and will probably bore you to death but it’s worth a shot if you want help.

Jens

12.28

To [email protected]

From [email protected]

Subject Re: Year 3 Buddyproject

Hi Jens.

You free this afternoon? That Café on Skoveien 3.30? You will know who I am. I will be the idiot with the Norwegian Greats book and a panic-stricken face. Test is tomorrow. Bricking it.

Honestly could do with all the help I can get. I’m fine with Maths and Biology and Chemistry. Shit at Norwegian.

Anyway. I don’t think I know who you are so you will have to find me.

Let me know

Axel

12.32

To [email protected]

From [email protected]

Subject: Jens and Axel go on a date

It’s a date. Mine’s a latte with an extra shot. For that I will teach you to recite Ibsen in your sleep. You will ace the test. See you later.

PS I will be wearing a rose made from toilet paper in my pocket. Just so I can find you.

Love Jens

12.42