Sondre,
I’m not on Facebook, but Axel might be. Will check it out. Dinner sounds good, we are free most evenings, and if Axel is working nights he doesn’t start until late, so I can take him in after. Give my love to Carla.
Jens
MALENA: Pappa have you seen this crap?
MALENA: PAPPA! I am not dealing with this shit! Who are these people? Where the fuck did they get that photo? People at school are talking, it’s on the fucking front page of the Oslo Daily!
MALENA: www.theoslodaily.no/news/AxelKlevesensmanrevealedmarriedfatheroffourleaveswifeforcelebritymidwife.
MALENA: We have to stop this shit. They are saying that you left Mamma for Axel. They are making him out to be horrible. Do they even know that Mamma died? I hate this. I hate everything. Fucking Axel.
PAPPA: We are home now. Come home baby girl and we will fix this shit. Love you.
There is nothing serene and peaceful about being at home. It’s not like Axel can throw himself on the sofa and check his emails. It’s not like he can curl up on Jens’ lap and get lost in kisses and touches and the warmth of skin.
Jens is stressed, texting Malena and trying to find something half-edible in the fridge that they can turn into some kind of meal. Mikki is on the floor rolling around begging to have iPad time, while Marthe is on the potty, with Axel, loudly and badly singing the alphabet song and coaxing a cheese-doodle in front of her. A girl cheese-doodle apparently, who is doing crazy dancing in the air in front of Marthe, trying to avoid getting eaten by Marthe the cheese-doodle monster.
Then the door slams and Malena is shouting at Jens and Morten comes into the living room with his shoes still on and throws himself on the sofa.
“Shoes Morten, please.” Axel begs. He knows what will happen. More shouting. Stressed Jens. And grumpy pissed-off Malena. It’s a recipe for disaster already. At least the potty is playing music and Marthe is sucking the cheese-doodle into her mouth with a delighted squeal.
“You are on the front of The Oslo Daily today. Malena is pissed-off. She says they are writing lies about you and Pappa and she hates you.”
“Oh.” Axel thinks ‘Shit’ would have been more appropriate. Or ‘fuck’. He also wonders why nobody has told him until now. Has he not got any friends who could have warned him? Well, he supposes all his friends either work nights or don’t fucking read bloody papers.
“Did Malena tell you what they wrote?”
There is something deep and dark brewing in Axel’s stomach. Something uncontrollable and feral that Axel can only think must be some insane reflex of protection. Some instinct to keep his family safe. Because if the bloody papers have in any way insulted his family then he is going to take them down. Piece by piece. Limb by limb. And it won’t be pretty.
“She said it was all lies and bloody bullshit.” Morten is shrugging his shoulders and pushing his shoes off, letting them land on the floor with a thud.
“Are you okay? Did anyone say anything to you?”
Morten just shrugs his shoulders and looks away. And Axel just wants curl up on the floor with Mikki and forget about the world out there. Where he has most probably fucked up majorly again. Why the hell couldn’t he just have kept his blog to fucking work. Nothing personal. He could have changed his fucking name for God’s sake. Been a bit clever about it.
“Morten, please just put your shoes away. Or at least hand them to me and I will put them out in the hallway before Malena shouts the house down.” Malena is shouting in the kitchen and Axel is balancing the potty in one hand and grabbing the shoes off Morten as he walks out in the hallway.
“It’s fucking embarrassing Pappa, they make Axel sound like some homewrecker and you come across as some bisexual slut.” Axel can just make out Malena’s voice from the bathroom as he cleans out the potty.
“They don’t exactly write that, do they?” Jens sounds calm. Calmer than Axel feels right now.
“Well, that is what they imply. And people are stupid enough to believe it. Then there is the photo of you and Mamma on the front. I mean what are people supposed to think? And how did they find out?’’
“I don’t know, Lena, but we will sort it out. It’s ridiculous anyway, and anyone who knows us knows the truth, don’t they?”
“Granny and Granddad don’t. They will read this shit and think you have lost your mind. I’m surprised Granny hasn’t been on the phone to you already.”
“She has. I had two missed calls earlier. Shit. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Jens is pulling at his hair again. Stomping around in the kitchen with a spatula in one hand and Malena’s phone in the other.
“What’s going on?”
Axel tries to rein Jens in, tries to get him to stand still, wraps his hands around his face and steadies him until he is looking him in the eye. Slowly slowing his breaths down and meeting Axel’s lips. Just softly until he can think clearly again.
“We’re okay, baby.” Axel says, still holding Jens’ face tight. “We are fine.”
“I’m not fine, Axel. This is a bloody nightmare! Do you have any idea what I had to deal with in school today? This idiot Year Three dude coming up to me and calling my Dad a fucking cheating faggot? If Nassi hadn’t pulled me away I would have freaking landed him one.”
“You should have. I would have come in and helped!” Jens pants.
“Jens, violence solves nothing. Malena, well done for keeping your cool.” Axel has both hands out now, trying to decide who to rein in first. Jens, who is stomping around again, throwing sausages into boiling water, or Malena, who looks like she wants to cry.
“I called him every name under the sun. Fucking wanker.” Malena blows her nose.
“Language, Malena.” Axel tries, but she only glares at him.
“I was defending you too, Axel. I don’t know why, but that article is vile.”
“Thank you.” Axel whispers. “Should I read it?”
“It will make you angry.” Malena nods to Jens who hands Axel the phone.
“The Oslo Daily Exclusive.” Axel reads out loud. “PNN’s celebrity midwife blogger Axel Kleve has finally revealed the identity of his elusive lover who he has intimately described on his weekly blog, captivating Norway as his enthralling love triangle drama has unfolded. Axel Kleve has become the most sought after midwife at Oslo’s University Hospital since he started sharing his love life online. He has developed a following of devoted fans, who are creating Facebook groups and petitioning shows like Good Morning Norway to bring Axel on TV to finally be shown live for Norway to see.
The Oslo Daily can exclusively reveal that Axel Kleve is dating University Lecturer Jens Sommerfeldt, known on the PNN blog only as ‘J’, a married father of four, who teaches Media and the Arts at UiO.” Axel stops briefly and catches Jens’ eye. “What the fuck is this crap? Can’t they get anything right?” Axel’s face is heating up, blushed red and Jens is bashing the sausages he is trying to cook in the pan, the fork making the boiling water splash over the sides of the pan.
“Jens Sommerfeldt is married to Sofie Haraldsen, a researcher at BioNord in Oslo. They have been married for twenty years and have four children. We have tried to reach both Jens and Axel for comments.” Axel shakes his head and hands the phone back to Malena. “I’m going to contact the press office at the hospital, I am sure Hedda knows what to do.”