He loves it. He loves this whole new life he is building. This morning sitting on the sofa with Mikki plastered to his front, while he was telling Axel all about something he had seen on YouTube. Something so ridiculously out there that Axel couldn’t help but laugh, as Mikki gave him a kiss on his cheek and promised that he would show Axel the clip on his iPad later when Pappa says it’s okay to have iPad time, and asking if Axel was allowed iPad time, because if not he would have to ask Pappa. Because you must ask Pappa. And by the way Mikki would ask anyway because then Axel and Mikki can have double iPad time and watch all ten clips of ‘The world’s scariest rollercoasters’. Like it would be the most amazing thing in the world.
He loves walking around with Marthe in his arms. He loves sitting opposite her when she is on the potty, singing Baa Baa Black Sheep over and over until she makes the potty play music, and Axel pulls the bag of cheese-doodles out from under the sofa to give her a reward. Which makes her squeal with delight. And Axel must have one too. He fucking hates cheese-doodles but he will happily eat the whole bag just to see Marthe’s face when he grimaces in disgust as the cheesy sawdust coats his tongue.
He loved that Morten sat next to him on the sofa. He loved that he curled into him when Axel tentatively placed his arm around him. He loved that Morten trusts him to do that, and doesn’t flinch or move away when Axel strokes Morten’s unruly fringe out of his eyes.
He loves that Malena texts him. That they talk about mundane things. That she sometimes smiles when he walks into the room. That she takes the piss out of everything he does.
The thought of him ruining what he has built is terrifying, yet he gets Jens. He knows what he is saying when he says he hasn’t got the time for all the stuff they are supposed to do. Date. Take things slow. Stay over. Have time apart. Axel gets it. He truly does.
He hasn’t got time either, and the thought of waking up with Jens every morning is so tempting, that his chest aches at the thought of it. He wants his things on his side of the bed. Well, he wants to move the bed around so it’s below the windows, just so he can make the room his. So he is not the one sleeping on Sofie’s side of the bed. Or Mikki’s. Or Morten's. Whatever, he wants it to be his side. With his things on the top of the nightstand. With his pillows mixed up with Jens’. With new curtains to make the room bright and happy. Yellow ones maybe. Or white.
It’s not like he wants to erase everything that was Sofie, but he needs to make it his.
It doesn’t really matter when he hears the sound of Jens’ key turning the lock in the door, because Jens has a key for Axel’s flat. Like it’s theirs. Nothing matters. Not the thud of Jens’ bag hitting the floor, or the crash of Axel’s back hitting the mirror on the wall. Not the sound of their kisses breaking the silence. Not the heady moan that escapes Axel’s throat as he rips the shirt from Jens’ back and pulls it over his head. He giggles at Jens. He’s come prepared. The shirt is unbuttoned to his navel and the sleeves are rolled up ready to go. Not that this is important. Not when Jens’ hands are around his neck and Jens’ tongue is down his throat and Axel’s fingers are making light work of the trousers that fall to the floor as Jens stumbles out of them while pushing Axel ahead of him.
“Bed. Now.”
That is all Jens needs to say for Axel to start running, backwards with his arms around Jens’ neck. Pulling and kicking his boxers off. Because he wasn’t quite sure whether being totally naked would be okay when Jens walked through the door, or if just underwear would be better. Naked would have worked. The freaking boxers are a pain to get off, especially since Jens has gone commando and his cock is straight up red and angry, rutting against Axel’s thigh while Jens is bruising Axel’s neck and scratching lines into his buttocks.
“I fucking need you. God, Axel. What the hell have you done to me? I can’t wait to get inside you.”
Jens is already wrecked. So fucking needy, his hands and mouth everywhere. It’s like he doesn’t know where to start. Whether to kiss or taste or just take. And Axel would let him. There is nothing Axel would say no to right now.
“Just go slow.” Axel whispers. “You can have me, any way you want. But I haven’t done this for a while so, well, go slow.”
Jens stops, his hair wild, and his eyes on fire. Lets his lips kiss Axel’s mouth. Just soft and heady, letting his eyes pierce Axel’s.
“I would never ever hurt you. Never. Tell me what to do. Show me. Take my hand and show me how you like it.” Jens’ voice is like sandpaper, rough and hoarse while Axel just smashes his mouth on his and takes him. Kisses him. Devours the taste of him.
They don’t speak. Axel just takes the lube from the side and coats his hand. Lets their fingers entwine as he stares at him. Lets himself drown in those eyes to the soundtrack of their fingers grasping. Sloppy skin against skin.
“Touch me. Please.” Axel begs. He doesn’t know where this pathetic desperate voice is coming from but somehow, he needs this today. He needs Jens to take control. To make him forget all the doubts in his head. He needs Jens to let him disappear and just feel, just for a little while.
He closes his eyes. Reaches down and slicks up Jens’ cock with his fingers. Just soft strokes against his shaft as Jens hums into Axel’s neck. Moans coming thick and fast as Jens’ fingers stroke Axel’s cock. Words that get mixed up with whimpers and sighs as Jens’ fingers cup his balls, letting the slick lube coat his skin while Jens’ mouth sucks on his nipple.
The sound of the cap of the lube clicking almost startles him as Jens gently moves his legs. Positioning him like a mannequin while his mouth is trailing down his stomach, making his cock leak pre-come with every faint touch of Jens’ lips against his skin.
“I love you Jens. I love you.” That’s all Axel manages to say. There are no more words he can make his mouth form. Not when there is a finger stroking his rim. Softly parting the skin, while there is a hot mouth licking the pre-come trailing down his cock, the fluid running slowly down his shaft for Jens’ tongue to chase.
“I love how you taste. Makes me fucking crazy.” Jens moans, while his tongue flicks around the head of Axel’s cock. Like some fucking pro. Like Jens has spent the last twenty years doing nothing but sucking cock, and ace-ing it.
“Nggngn!” Axel’s mouth is trying, he is trying to say words. But his hips are arching off the bed and Jens’ mouth is licking his balls and there is a finger that is almost all the way up his arse, and Axel is losing his shit. Sweating profusely and twitching with every flick of Jens’ tongue. Grasping the pillow above his head and twisting his torso when the sensations threaten to become too much.
Because it is almost too much. Too good. Just being allowed to lie here and let Jens wreck him. Axel knows that is what he is doing. Axel is falling apart. Just letting himself go. Forgetting all about that he doesn’t really like bottoming. That the last time he did this he hated every second. That he had promised himself never ever to let anyone else ever make him feel like that. Out of control and cheap and used and sore. Distant memories of faceless dates, hook-ups that never ended in anything but disappointment. Yet here he is, spreading his legs and arching up to meet Jens’ tongue that is licking his rim, fighting for space with the two fingers that are pushing up into Axel’s passage. Cold lube drizzling over his skin, and Jens’ breath hot against his hole.