He throws a punch and hits me in the stomach. Hard enough that I inch back and gasp for a breath.
When he looks at me, he knows.
He knows I know.
The corner of his eye is bleeding.
He looks around, looking for a way out.
The only way out is to take me out.
“Mac, just tell him everything and let’s go,” Jolie says.
“Listen to her,” Declan says.
“Fuck you,” I growl.
I dive at Declan and tackle him the rest of the way to the floor.
We throw punches back and forth. I give him a few seconds to try and defend himself. But all it takes is one good elbow to his jaw and he’s face down on the kitchen floor.
When he lifts his head, there’s blood dripping on the floor.
I reach behind me and take out my gun.
Declan looks at me. “Seriously?”
“You fucking went after her, bro,” I say.
“I was told to,” Declan says. He takes a deep breath. “I was told to scare her. That was it. I was never going to touch her. I was never going to hurt her.”
“Apologize to her,” I say.
“What?”
“Say you’re sorry for what you did,” I say.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
I swing my right foot and kick Declan in the ribs.
He falls to the floor and groans in pain.
I point the gun at him. “Sit up and look at Jolie and apologize.”
Declan shows his hands and sits up. “I’m sorry, Jolie.”
“Louder,” I say.
“I’m sorry for what I did to you, Jolie,” Declan says.
“Okay,” Jolie says. “Mac, let’s go. Right now.”
“No,” I say. “I’m not done.”
“What the fuck, Mac?” Declan asks. “What do you want from me?”
“Mama is sick and losing her mind,” I say to him.
He looks back at me. “What?”
“She thought I was you,” I say. “That’s how this happened. That’s how I know the truth. And now you’re going to face the truth.”
I put the gun to Declan’s head.
“Mac!” Jolie cried out.
“It has to be done, sweetie,” I say.
“Fuck,” Declan says as he shuts his eyes.
“You’re all I have left,” Jolie says.
I look at her. “What?”
“You’re all I have… left…,” she says. Her eyes fill with tears. “If you do this and I lose you… I have nothing. I have nobody.”
Jolie turns and runs toward the door.
She leaves the apartment and I’m standing there with a gun to Declan’s head.
This is the epitome of our lives.
“Are you going to fucking do it or what?” Declan asks. “It was her idea. She wanted to give Jolie a scare to get her away from you. She thought you were going to get weak and slip up. I’m just along for the ride, Mac. You know that.”
“That’s because you’re fucking dirty,” I say. I move the gun from his head. “And I need you alive. I own you now, Declan. Got that? You no longer report to Mama. You report to me. If you fucking mess up even once, you’re done. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I get it. Anything you need, Mac.”
I put my foot to Declan’s back and shove him forward.
Then I walk to the apartment door.
I came to kill Declan but didn’t.
Because of Jolie.
I’m mad at myself.
I’m mad at her.
I’m mad at the world.
And in a way I already know what’s going to happen next.
18
JOLIE
I stand outside the car.
When the door opens and Mac steps out, he shows me his hands and shakes his head.
He didn’t do it.
My heart sighs a little with relief.
But the tears I just can’t help.
Everything that surrounds me is one big lie. And the lie keeps changing and getting worse.
The second I feel like I have something figured out, it all changes.
I thought things with Mama Dae were okay. She and I could exist together.
But… no…
She sent Declan to my apartment. To scare me.
I could have gotten hurt or killed.
Then Declan had the nerve to show up later and be a cop.
To pretend to help and find whoever did it.
When it was him all along.
That’s how they are though.
How they all are…
I watch Mac walk to the car.
He gets inside and starts it.
I slowly open the door and get inside.
“Mac, I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says.
“Okay.”
“Tell me what happened with your mother.”
Mac starts to drive.
He drives really fast.
Really… really… fast…
I take a deep breath.
I wipe my eyes.
“You’re all I have now,” I say to him.
“What does that mean?” Mac asks.
“My father told my mother everything,” I say. “She didn’t know. But she does now. He came by the house, told her then left. I really didn’t get the full story there. Because my mother has protection.”
“Protection?”
“Some bodyguard named Bullet. He looks like an action movie star. And she’s been…”
“Been, what?” Mac asks.
“She’s been fucking him,” I say.
“Shit,” Mac says.
“So that’s my life,” I say. “My father is in debt to really bad guys. And he’s been having an affair. He wants to run away with that woman. And my mother has a bodyguard that she’s sleeping with. Awesome, right?”
“That’s their life, Jolie,” Mac says. “Your mother is smart for not getting involved. She has to keep her distance too. Stay away from him.”
“And me,” I say.
“What? Why you?”
“Because of you, Mac,” I say.
“Because of me,” he says. “Why?”
I wipe the corners of my eyes again. “I was told to choose, Mac. Either that life or this life.”
“Choose…”
“Yeah,” I say. “So I lost everything, Mac. I lost everything for you.”
“That’s why you didn’t want me to kill Declan,” he whispers.
“I can’t lose you too,” I say. “But now… what Mama did. What Declan did. I feel like it’s all one big lie. Everything has been said and done to me. Everyone got their answers though, right? Everyone got what they wanted. But I have to keep fighting for what I want.”
“And what is it that you want, sweetie?” Mac asks.
The answer is so simple…
I look at Mac.
“You.”
Mac parks his car next to mine.
The rest of the crew is waiting outside.
With the exception of Ado.
“What’s going to happen to Ado?” I ask.
Mac looks at me. “So you’re going to keep worrying about stuff that doesn’t matter?”