I turn and open the apartment door.
Les is still standing there.
“Ready now?” Les asks.
“I hope I don’t regret this.”
I follow Les to their house.
The big house on the BC campus.
And it’s busy.
There’s people on the sidewalk, in the grass, on the porch.
Aric is at the top step with his arm around someone.
When he sees me, he shakes his head.
“I feel like I’m looking at a ghost,” he says.
“Boo,” I say. “Where is he?”
Aric looks at Les.
I have a sinking feeling going through me.
I walk up the porch steps with Les behind me.
When I enter the house, it’s noisy.
Voices. Music. Laughter. Yelling.
I look forward and see Taz.
His eyes meet mine and he barrels forward.
With his wide shoulders, he just knocks people out of the way. And anyone he bumps into, they don’t say a thing to him about it.
“What the fuck are you doing here, darling?” Taz asks.
Les is then at my side.
“You didn’t,” Taz says.
“I had to, bro,” Les says.
“Where’s Mac?” I ask.
“Look, Jolie, let me do it,” Taz says. “Let me handle it.”
“Handle what?” I ask.
“He’s out back,” Les says. “He’s chilling. He’s got company though.”
“Fuck,” Taz says. “I guess we’re in it now…”
“Company,” I say. “He’s with someone else. That quick?”
“It’s not love,” Taz says.
“Of course not,” I say. I look at Les. “This is what you were talking about. Destroying things…”
“Yeah,” Les says.
“Everyone get out of my way,” I say.
I push by Taz and work my way through the crowd.
I know both Taz and Les are right behind me.
It’s takes me way too long to get to the door.
I look through the glass and that’s when I see Mac.
Sitting in a chair.
Some girl on his lap.
She’s curled up sideways, her hands all over him.
His right hand touching her lower back.
This bitch is smoking a cigarette.
Oh, and get this…
She takes a drag and then gives the cigarette to Mac.
Then she takes it back.
They’re looking at each other.
She’s smiling.
He looks angry.
“Trust me, Jolie, this is nothing,” Les says. “He’s hiding it all.”
“It’s his version of a drug,” Taz says. “It’s how he copes. He loves you.”
“Yeah, he looks like he loves me,” I say.
I turn and walk away.
“Don’t give up that easily,” Les says.
“I’m not giving up,” I say.
I push my way into the kitchen and open the cabinets until I find what I’m looking for.
I grab the coffee mug by the handle and work my way back to the door.
“Shit,” Taz says.
I rip open the door.
The bitch on Mac is now facing him.
She flicks the cigarette away.
Her hands touch his shoulders.
She looks ready to dry hump him.
The fire burning inside of me can take down the world.
Instead of that, I just want to take down this bitch.
When I get close enough, I swing the coffee mug and smash it off her head.
That makes Mac jump.
The girl screams and falls off Mac’s lap.
She touches her head and turns to face me.
She’s a little taller than me but I don’t care.
Her eyes are filled with tears.
“You better remember who the fuck I am,” I tell her.
I drop what’s left of the mug and I grab her shirt and throw her out of the way.
Mac is then standing there.
Staring at me with his lip curled.
“You hit her in the head with a coffee mug,” he says.
“That’s my thing, remember?” I ask.
“How did you know I was here?”
“You fucking live here, Mac.”
“Right. And what do you want?”
“I wanted to tell you that I hate you. That you messed up my entire life. That you messed me up. That because of you, I lost everything in my life. Everything.”
“That’s fine,” he says. “Blame me all you want, sweetie.”
“I’m not blaming you,” I say. I swallow hard. “I wanted it. All of it, Mac. And I would make the same choice over and over. So stop being such a fucking idiot.”
He steps toward me. “That’s really what you want to say?”
“I already said it,” I say. “Now what?”
“My fucking head is bleeding,” the bitch yells from behind me.
I turn around and take a step. “Next time I’ll cut your fucking tongue out. Get the fuck out of here.”
She hurries down the steps and disappears into the night.
When I turn back around, Mac’s hands touch my face.
His lips touch mine.
I lose my breath, the feeling in my legs…
I grab for his shirt.
His hands move around my body and he picks me up and sits me on the railing.
I move my hands and dig at his face.
“You’re such an asshole, Mac,” I say in between kisses.
“I know,” he says. “I’m not going to change.”
“Good. Don’t.”
We kiss again.
Then he breaks the kiss. “I love you, Jolie.”
“I love you too,” I say. “I know what I want. I’m not afraid of it.”
“Like I told you before… you should be afraid.”
He kisses me again.
I wrap my legs around him.
I don’t give a damn who’s watching. I don’t give a damn that Taz is making noises and comments.
I don’t give a damn about anything.
It’s just me and Mac.
Mac and I.
Mac and me.
However you want to say it.
I’m not going to lie to you or myself and say this is right. Or that we’re going to live happily ever after.
But with his lips against mine and my body against his…
At least for tonight we are both happy together.
Epilogue
MAC
MONTHS LATER
My hands run down the sides of her body, fighting with the shower water.
She gently rubs her ass against me, teasing me.
Not that I need any more teasing or temptation to get hard again.
If Jolie thinks she can drain me, she’s fucking wrong.
My hands stop at her hips and I keep her body tight against mine.
I lean forward and down and kiss the back of her neck.
My tongue inches along her smooth neck, around and up until she turns her head and meets me for a kiss.
There is nothing like kissing her.
Each time we kiss, it’s loud and messy thanks to the water.
I finally turn her around.
My hands have no choice but to introduce themselves to her breasts again.