“Are you praising me now?” Jolie asks.
Mama laughs again. “Your shoulder is so cold, I’m wondering if we’re related. You don’t forgive so easily now. I like that about you, Jolie. Keep that. Use that. Never, ever just give in. Look, my mind is slipping. I don’t know what it’ll be like in a week or a month. I’m going to forget everyone. Forget everything. I’m going to lose myself. I’m going to die but be alive. That’s not a good feeling.”
“Fuck, Mama, don’t say it like that,” I say.
“It’s the truth,” Jolie says.
Mama points at Jolie. “It’s the truth. That’s right.”
I tighten my hand on Jolie’s shoulder.
It hurts to see Mama like this.
“I told Declan to go to your place, Jolie,” Mama says. “I wanted him to scare you. Yes, I wanted him to chase you away. I saw the look in Mac’s eyes. I fear distraction. I knew something was wrong with me. I’ve been going to the doctor for a while now. And it’s getting worse. I didn’t want Mac not focused.”
“Do you realize what that did to me?” Jolie asks.
Mama nods. “Of course I do. It scared you. But not away. You ran right to Mac. You could have pushed him away but you didn’t. That’s when I realized this was real.”
“Why didn’t you say something then?” I ask.
“There was no need,” Mama says. “You were focused, Mac. You were in love. Think about where it all went from there. The protection. How intense it all got. The decisions you made on your own. Now, if you want the other side of it all…” Mama slides her left hand toward Jolie. “I kind of fell in love with Jolie myself.”
“How sweet,” Jolie says.
“How sweet is right,” Mama says. “You’re a pain in the ass, Jolie. You don’t listen. You tell everyone how okay you are with things, but you’re not. You want to know more than you let on. You have little manipulative ways of getting information too. On top of that, you decided to take my personal business and spread it around. So now I’m moving out of my own house to protect myself and everyone I love.”
Jolie pushes the chair back into me.
She stands up. “You’re blaming me?”
“No,” Mama says. “Not at all. I’m telling you who you are. You did all of that because you care. Because you’re smart. You can see things not many can see. That makes you special, Jolie. You saved everyone’s life doing what you did.”
“Just relax, sweetie,” I whisper to Jolie.
“I won’t fucking relax,” Jolie says. “Are we done here?”
“Yeah,” Mama says. “You didn’t have to show up. I just wanted to tell you the truth before I forget. That’s the truth, Jolie. I needed to do something about you. You proved yourself. I’m not asking you to forgive me either. I don’t want you to forgive me. That shows weakness.”
Jolie looks around.
I’m standing next to her at the table.
It feels right to be close to her.
“So now what?” Jolie asks Mama.
Mama puts her hands to the table and stands up. “Now I leave. The house will be mostly the same. Mac has the keys. Everything will be left in his control. He’s like the son I never had. His parents never wanted him. I always wanted a son. But I have to make sure I don’t hurt anyone. It’s getting worse. I’m surprised I lasted this long talking to you, Jolie. It just comes and goes in waves. And the waves are going to get bigger and worse. But I’ll be okay. I’ll be somewhere safe. I’ll die a little bit more each day. But for you two… I hope it becomes what it was supposed to be all along.”
Mama moves from the table and grabs a candlestick.
She walks it to a box and drops it inside.
I watch as Jolie watches her.
Jolie moves toward the kitchen and I follow.
Mama goes around the counter and stops.
She turns and looks at the box where she just put the candlestick.
In a quick motion, she punches the box and knocks it down to the floor.
Then she grabs her gun off the counter and points it at the box.
“What the hell are you doing?” I call out.
Mama stares down at the box. The gun pointed at it.
Jolie springs into action.
She hurries to Mama’s side and puts her hand to Mama’s arm.
Then she hugs her.
Mama shuts her eyes and lowers her head.
And the gun.
The tension in the kitchen eases.
Jolie takes her hand away from Mama’s arm.
She inches away a little.
She kisses Mama’s cheek.
Mama slowly puts the gun on the counter.
Jolie looks at me.
Her eyes are glossy.
She hurries to the door and leaves the house.
“Go after her,” Mama says.
“What was that about?” I ask.
“Mac, go after her,” Mama says. “Trust me. Go after her. Go get her. Make her yours. Keep her safe. Love her for the rest of your life.”
“What about you?” I ask. “You can’t be shooting boxes.”
“I didn’t shoot anything.”
“You were going to.”
Mama looks at me. She blinks. She’s quiet.
It’s almost as though I can see everything washing over her.
The confusion.
No, no, no, no…
“I’ll be fine,” she whispers. She reaches for the counter. “I promise I’ll be fine. Tell Taz to come help me.”
I run to the door and open it.
Taz is waiting outside.
“She took off that way,” he says.
“Get in there,” I say to him. “Mama is slipping a little.”
I run to chase after Jolie.
I feel like I’ve made my choice now too.
Just like she had done for me.
I catch up to her just as she’s about to get into her car.
There’s not a second to spare with her anymore.
My hands touch her waist.
I pull her away from the car and then spin her around.
My hands touch her face.
Her hands touch my hands.
I quickly put my mouth to hers.
I kiss her hard. Fast.
Her lips against mine.
Her tongue…
The way she kisses back. The way she tastes.
I never want to let her go again.
She moves her head to break the kiss.
I put my forehead to hers.
“I love you, Jolie,” I whisper.
“I know you do,” she says. “But I have to go.”
“What?”
Jolie puts her hands to my chest and pushes me away.
She closes her eyes.
She won’t even look at me.
“I have to go,” she says. “Okay? I just…”
She shakes her head.
She slips away from me and gets into her car.
She shuts the door and starts the car.
I step back and she looks at me again.
Tears roll down her cheeks.
My hands ball up into tight fists.
Jolie pulls out and drives away.
Her car disappears into the horizon.
Her memory still fresh in my heart.
I walk through the skatepark and feel like I’m almost floating.