He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. “You’re not alone anymore.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”
—Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Landon went through the motions of heating up some of Ella’s lasagna for them and serving the salad his sister had made to go with it. After preparing a plate for Amanda and one for himself, he carried both into the living room where he’d left her sitting, and found her staring off into space. “Dinner is served.”
She took the plate from him. “Thank you.”
“I called the station, told them something has come up and to call me if they need me to come in. So I’m all yours tonight.” He had extra hours on the books from the night he was called in, and there would never be a better time to use them than tonight.
“I didn’t even realize you were on the phone.”
“You were busy staring at the TV.”
“You’re the best for doing that. I’m okay, but it’s better with you here.”
“I didn’t want you to be alone tonight.” He put his plate on the table and returned to the kitchen for the glass of wine he’d poured for her. When he sat next to her to eat, he discovered his own stomach was roiling as he tried to absorb the events of the last hour. He’d meant it when he told her he was happy for her to have the opportunity to know the child she’d given up for adoption and possibly take her in when her mother passed away.
But he couldn’t help but wonder what it would mean for them. They’d just managed to move off the starting line, and now she was thoroughly—and understandably—distracted by this major news about her daughter. How did he fit into this new development? Did he fit into it? Would he be part of it?
Though he normally ate like a horse, he only picked at the tasty lasagna and salad. He did the dishes, cleaned up the kitchen and put on a movie that neither of them watched.
While she used the bathroom before bed, he stoked up the fire and stared at the flames with unseeing eyes. Right when things between them had begun to move in the direction he’d wanted from the beginning, she’d received the letter that had upended everything.
But like she’d said earlier, it was all about what Stella needed, first and foremost. They’d have to figure out the rest as it happened.
He took his turn in the bathroom and slid into bed wearing flannel pajama pants and a Butler Volunteer Fire Department T-shirt. The days of sleeping naked were probably over for now, a thought that filled him with a profound feeling of sadness that he immediately dismissed as selfish.
Amanda snuggled up to him, and he put his arm around her.
“How’re you doing?” She’d hardly said a word for hours, and all he wanted was to know what she was thinking and feeling.
“I don’t know. Mostly, I’m counting the hours until I can call the agency in the morning. Maybe I’ll get to talk to her as soon as tomorrow.”
“I hope you don’t have to wait long.”
“Me, too. I’ll go mad.” She raised her head from his chest. “I’m apt to be a little distracted for a minute or two.”
“I understand. Anyone would be.”
“It really helps to be with you while this is happening.”
He kissed her. “I’m glad you feel that way.”
Landon slept fitfully and was up at daybreak, hoping to get in a full day at the farm before the night shift at the fire department. He moved quietly around the room as he got dressed, trying not to disturb Amanda.
“You’re up early,” she said.
“I’m working at the farm today.”
“What goes on there in the off-season?”
“Today, I’m mowing, which is critical so we don’t get overrun with weeds. We also spray fungicide on every tree once a month between April and September, and then we give them all what we refer to as ‘haircuts,’ which is really about shaping and trimming. This month, we start the herbicide program to keep the weeds from impairing the growth of the trees. It’s actually a year-round process.”
“I had no idea.”
He came to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. “Most people think it’s jingle bells and hot chocolate in December and the rest of the year off, but it’s not like that at all.”
“Do you do all that yourself?”
“Most of it. My brothers Max and Colton help out after their sugaring season ends. They split their time between the mountain and the farm in the summer.”
“Maybe I could come see what you do there at some point?”
“Any time you want. What’re you up to today?”
“After I call the adoption agency, I’ll be making plans for the staff training that starts Monday and checking in with my mom about some other work stuff. I suppose I need to tell her what’s going on with Stella.”
“How do you think she’ll take that?”
“I have no idea. We never talk about that time in our lives. It was traumatic for both of us.”
“I’m sure.”
“Landon…” She reached for his hand and kept her gaze pinned on their joined hands. “I don’t want this to mess up things between us. I want…”
“What do you want, honey?”
“You.” She looked up at him with big eyes and sleep-rumpled hair, and to him, she’d never been more beautiful. “I want you.”
Moved by her sweet words, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I want you, too. I want to be there for you during all of this with Stella, and everything else, for that matter.”
She raised her free hand to his face, caressing the stubble on his jaw. “That means so much to me.”
“No matter what happens, everything will be okay. I believe that. Things work out the way they’re meant to.”
“Is that another of your grandfather’s sayings?”
“One of many. But he’s right. You have recent proof of that. All your plans don’t matter in the least when you get caught in a fire or hear from the child you gave up for adoption twelve years ago.”
“It’s true.”
“Are you up for going to Hunter and Megan’s tonight maybe?”
“I think so. She said she’d call me today to confirm.”
“I’ll come home early from the farm, we can run to Montpelier to pick up the ring for Luc before he drives me crazy asking me to get it, and you can get a dress for the wedding. I’ll have you back in time for dinner.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
“Do you want me to stick around until you call the agency?”
“You don’t need to. I’ll be all right.”
“I’ll call to check on you in a bit.”
“I’ll look forward to that.”
He kissed her, wishing he had nothing to do and could spend the day with her, but the trees didn’t take care of themselves, and he’d been slacking off since the fire. It was time to get back to work. On the way through town, he stopped off at the diner to get coffee and a breakfast sandwich to go.
The only ones in the diner that early were Hunter, Megan and Elmer, all of whom were happy to see Landon.