Are we supposed to stay naked until tomorrow?
“Time’s up,” Luca yells again, and they start hauling girls out of the room one by one. I lift my gaze from the floor and up to Ivan, who is standing in the room, most likely making sure none of us make even an attempt to run. I’m angry, so angry, that I want to slap him, tell him that I hate him, even when I don’t. I could never hate him, not after all he’s done for me, but that doesn’t mean I’m not furious.
“Let’s go.” Luca appears directly in front of me, his hand reaching out, latching onto my arm. A squeak escapes my lips when I lose my footing and slip on the wet concrete floor. I barely get my footing before I slam into Luca’s side.
“Learn how to fucking walk, and you won’t fall.” He laughs, tugging me along, out the door, and down the hall to my cell. He shoves me inside, his eyes roaming over my cold soaked body before he shuts the door, locking me inside.
I backpedal toward the bed, sinking down onto the filthy mattress. I wrap my arms around my middle and start to sob. Coldness seeps deep into my bones, and my teeth chatter together, the sound filling the silent room.
How could he do this? How could he let his men treat women this way? How is he so kind and gentle with me but hateful and mean with them?
I wish like hell he was here right now so that I could scream at him, so I could tell him how angry I am with him for not saving them like he saved me. Parts of me knew my anger was irrational, but I didn’t care, not in this moment, not after watching them hurt that girl. She looked younger than me and frightened beyond belief.
The food flap opens a little while later and something is shoved inside before it’s quickly closed again. I get up on shaky legs and walk over to pick up a thin white cotton shift dress. I pull it on, even though I know it’s not going to provide me with a lot of warmth. At least I won’t be naked anymore. Sitting back down on the mattress, I curl up into a ball and for the first time since Ivan started getting me from my cell, I don’t want to see him.
He’s a reminder of what I have that those other girls here don’t have.
I’m protected and cared for by the dark knight while they get nothing.
I should feel grateful, happy, but all I feel is guilt and shame.
14
Ivan
Each step I take toward her cell is forced. I’ve never walked down to get her with such a pit of anguish in my stomach. Today was a fucking nightmare. The only reason I was able to hold back and not rip Luca’s head off was the knowledge of saving her tomorrow. This is the only way, the only chance I have, and I knew there was no way I could let my emotions get involved.
As soon as I open the door to her cell, I know that everything is going to be different now. Things will change between us now that she has seen the darkness inside me. I’ve told her that I was a bad man, but she’s never seen that part of me, never seen how cold and disconnected I can be. Instead of getting up and jumping into my arms, she remains curled up on the mattress, facing away from me.
I sigh and step into the cell, walking across the room. Kneeling down beside her, I gently touch her bare arm and cringe as she pulls away. Where she usually leans into my touch, she fucking pulls away, her body language telling me not to touch her ice-cold skin.
“It had to happen this way, Kitten. It was either protect you or them, and if I have to choose, I’m always going to choose you. You’re my number one priority.” I need her to understand this. Everything changed the day she collided with me. Something inside me broke lose when I saw her big blue eyes full of fright. I was looking for something without even knowing it… something more… and then she found me, she fucking found me.
“Come on, let me take you upstairs. You’re freezing.” I slide my arms underneath her and lift her up. She doesn't wrap her arm around me or hold on to my shirt like she usually does, but at least she isn’t struggling to get away from me. I don’t know what I would do if she was.
As I cradle her to my chest and carry her upstairs, her eyes remain closed, but I know she is not a sleep. Everywhere I touch, her skin is cold, and her body is slightly shaking in my hold.
When I get to my place, I lay her in my bed and cover her up with the comforter. Her eyes open to watch what I am doing, but she won’t look me in the eyes.
“I want to sleep on the floor,” she whispers, her voice raspy from crying.
“What… why?” I’m flabbergasted by her statement.
“I’m not going to be curled up in a warm bed when the other girls are alone and freezing downstairs.” Her voice cracks at the end, and she tries to get off the bed. I touch her shoulders to push her back down, but she pulls away once more.
“Please don’t touch me.” Just like that, she rips my heart from my chest. I let her get up, but I keep her pinned between me and the bed. She leans away from me and all I want to do is hold her.
“I won’t touch you, and I’ll sleep on the couch if you sleep in the bed.”
She nods and sits back down on the bed. When I step away, she lifts her legs and rolls onto her
side. She doesn't get under the comforter, but at least I got her to lay in the bed. There’s no way I could’ve handled having her sleep on the floor. It was enough having to put her back in that cell every day.
“Goodnight, Kitten,” I murmur before leaving the room and closing the door halfway. I keep the door open so I can hear her if she starts crying, because if she does, I’m going in there to hold her, whether she likes it or not. I sit on the couch and listen for a long time, but she doesn't make a sound… at least nothing I can hear from this distance.
When I walk back into the bedroom as quietly as I can, I find her sleeping. Her face is relaxed, all the worry gone from her features and her breathing is slow and even. I pull the blanket over her barely dressed body before I return to the couch and try to get some sleep myself.
Unfortunately, everytime I close my eyes, images of today remain in my head. Violet having to strip in front of everyone, the other men’s eyes and hands on her. Them seeing her, seeing what is mine, then getting tased. I can still hear her pained cry in my ears, and I don’t think I will forget that sound… not ever.
“Please, Kitten, do what I told you. I know you want to help the others, but we just can’t.” I keep my voice low, so no one from the hallway can hear. Her cell door is wide open, and Luca is already bringing some of the girls out. The last thing I need is for him to hear my plan.
She nods but doesn't say a single word to me. She hasn’t talked to me since last night; hell, she’s hardly even looked at me. It’s killing me to see her like this but it’s okay, or at least that’s what I tell myself. I don’t have a choice but to do the things I’m doing.
I’m trying to protect her and someday she’ll realize that. Even if she has to hate me right now, it’s all for a good cause.
“Give me your arm,” I coax, and she holds her arm out to me without objection. I stick the needle into her skin, injecting her with the drug. I let the drug spread through her veins before I help her up to her feet. I take out some cable ties and tie her hands behind her back. When I spin her around to look at me, our eyes finally meet. I know the drug is already affecting her as she blinks at me in confusion, her baby blues going in and out of focus. Her creamy white cheeks are pink, and her lips are absolutely kissable. Fuck, do I wish we didn't’ have to do this right now.