“Did he ask you out?” Ace demanded, pulling us to a stop.
“Yeah, but—”
He interrupted me. “Did he know the time and place?”
“Yeah.”
“Then he’s an asshat who didn’t show, and that’s not cool. But it’s his loss. You deserve better.”
I scoffed. “Whatever.”
“You do,” he insisted. “You’ve got a lot to offer.”
Like pale skin and a skinny frame. Yeah, I was hot stuff.
“You’re Jeremy’s friend,” I said dismissively. “You have to say nice things. It doesn’t mean anything. My brother might as well have said it.”
Ace stepped close, his eyes intent on me. “Yeah, well, I’m not your brother. And I think you’re pretty cool. Smart, cute, and a hell of an artist.”
I gave an embarrassed chuckle and rolled my eyes.
“I’m serious.”
“Okay,” I said. “A-plus for effort.”
“Benj—”
“Can we please just get ice cream?” I pleaded, gesturing to the parlor two doors down. “I need chocolate more than I need compliments.”
Ace’s smile sagged a little, causing guilt to niggle at me, but he nodded. “Sure, anything you want. My treat.”
Not anything. What I really wanted was for Ace to mean all of the sweet things he said. But as my brother’s straight friend, he’d never really see me that way. And yet, I could never not see him as the man of my dreams.
Even when I’d settled for a lesser version, it’d gone all wrong. College hadn’t been the magical new life I’d imagined. Turned out, wherever you went, your personality was sure to follow.
Ace
I frowned down at my unanswered texts. Benji was generally prompt about replying, as long as he wasn’t in class, but he’d ignored my messages all weekend. Probably depressed about the asshat who’d stood him up.
I really wished I knew who that guy was. I wouldn’t beat him up or anything, I’d just take a long look at him to try to figure out what Benji saw in him. And I’d make sure he knew he’d missed out on a great guy. Because Benji was great.
I’d always liked him as a kid, when he was stick-thin with a mile-wide smile.
He was still slender, though he’d filled out some with a cute little butt that he emphasized with skinny jeans. But the smile had been missing Friday night, and that was a damn shame. No one should dim that kid’s joy switch, because when he was happy, he was so bright he lit up the whole damn room.
“You stare at that phone any harder and the screen will crack.”
I jumped, startled by my coworker’s voice. “Sorry,” I said, shoving it into my back pocket. “Just worried about a friend.”
She raised an eyebrow. “A friend or a friend? That was some intense worrying.”
“A friend,” I deadpanned.
Sandra had been trying to suss out my romantic interests for months now. I hadn’t set out to be mysterious, but I hadn’t dated anyone since I started working at All Occasions Boutique and Flower Shop. I also hadn’t responded to Sandra’s flirtations or those of customers. I needed this job to pay my expenses, and I wasn’t about to risk it for a hookup. When the flirting failed to launch, Sandra pulled me aside to tell me she had a gay cousin who’d love a boyfriend like me.
I’d smiled politely, said I wasn’t looking to date anyone, and kept on working.
Sandra hadn’t pressed me or made any assumptions, but every now and then she’d tried to tease information out of me. It’d become a bit of a game. If she asked directly, I might tell her I’d always been straight, but she didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell.
Just as well, because even though I’d always dated girls, I wasn’t so sure that I always would.
Lately I’d been considering new possibilities…
The idea of Benji as more than a friend made a curious little flutter start up in my gut. I hadn’t lied to him Friday night when I’d called him cute. Benji was adorable. But … not in a sexual way. I hadn’t really thought of him that way. But now that the thought popped into my head, my mind’s eye zoomed in on his mouth. I wondered, would a kiss with Benji really be so bad? Moot point. I couldn’t mess around with my best friend’s little bro, especially when I didn’t know what the hell I was feeling. I would never be that guy, especially with Benji.
“What’s got you worried about your friend, then?” Sandra asked.
I hesitated. “It’s just dating drama.”
When she nodded for me to continue, I spilled. Not like she knew Benji, so I wasn’t betraying his confidence.
“He got stood up for a date, and he seemed pretty hurt. He won’t tell me that, but I could tell, you know? Like, he’s always fairly modest, but he seemed to believe he deserved that kind of thing. And he really doesn’t. Plus, he hasn’t been texting me back all weekend.”
“He probably just needs time to mope.”
“Yeah.” I chewed my lip. Thing was, I didn’t want Benji to mope. I wanted to make it better. “I just wish I knew how to cheer him up.”
“Is he into girls?”
I didn’t see the harm in telling her. “He’s gay.”
“Too bad you’re not interested in him,” she said with a teasing tone. “Best way to get over someone is finding someone better.”
I smirked. “Nice try, but I don’t reveal my secrets that easily.”
She laughed. “Fine, but it’s true. Maybe you could set him up with someone?”
I hated that idea immediately. Set Benji up on a date? No. Who could I even find for him? I only knew a couple of guys on campus who were into men. I shared a class with Pete but didn’t really know him well enough to ask him. And Jonas, from the frat, was out of the question. Benji had met him, and they’d seemed to get along, but Jonas was a major player. Last thing I needed was for Benji to get more hurt than he already was.
No. The idea of either of them with Benji felt all wrong.
Shaking my head, I said, “Guess I’ll think of something.”
“You could send him flowers,” she said. “I always love getting them. I don’t even care who they’re from. They just make me feel special.”
I didn’t know how Benji felt about flowers, but it was an interesting idea. A gift of some kind to make him feel appreciated. It couldn’t come from me, though. I could still hear Benji’s words from Friday night. A-plus for effort. He hadn’t believed I was sincere. If I sent him a gift, he’d just blow it off as a pity prize.
I wanted to make him smile. Help him see that he was more than worthy of attention.
If he wouldn’t believe in me, maybe he’d believe in someone else.
An anonymous someone else, like a … secret admirer.
Benji
Kaleb wasn’t looking at me. He sat, chewing the end of his pen, intensely focused on Professor Greene. A little too focused for it to be natural.
I’d chosen a seat at the back of the class, far from my usual spot in the second row. I wanted to avoid Kaleb at all costs, but it looked like he was attempting the same. He’d taken a spot in the front row, the better not to see me, perhaps? A braver person would probably confront him, but the very idea of it made me shake with nerves. I was relieved Kaleb was avoiding me. At least he wasn’t taunting me about it. I didn’t need him for that; my mind taunted me enough already.