Maybe it was pathetic, coming here like this. We’d never actually been together together. He hadn’t been my boyfriend. But there’d been something in his eyes, in his voice, when he’d broken off whatever it was we’d been doing.
He hadn’t wanted to end it, and I was going to make him admit it. Admit he still wanted me like I still wanted him.
I gathered the courage I needed to go over there—
He broke away, striding across the lawn, swaying a little, and headed inside.
Crap.
I quickly followed, rushing up the steps and into the house. Jesse walked into a room ahead of me. I wriggled my way through the sea of people, moving quickly past a couple up against the wall kissing. I averted my gaze—
Oh my God. People were having sex on the kitchen table. Others watched, drinking and laughing, calling out crude things.
It wasn’t like I didn’t know Jesse was a biker and hung with a rough crowd, but this was more than I’d been prepared to see tonight.
“You like an audience too, sweetheart?” a skinny, very tall biker said, running his hand over my butt.
I jumped away, and his laugh boomed after me as I rushed down the hall. I shoved open the door to the room Jesse had disappeared into and shut it behind me, heart pounding.
It was his bedroom. It smelled of his deodorant, of him. It was dark, but moonlight filtered in. There was a dresser to one side, a guitar leaning against it. I imagined him playing it and a shiver of delight moved through me. He told me he played, but I’d never heard him. Jesse had kicked off his boots and was lying on the bed in the middle of the room, his forearm draped over his eyes.
“Jesse?”
He didn’t move.
I tiptoed to the side of the bed and pressed my hand to his chest. “Grifter?”
His hand curled around my wrist and he tugged. I fell forward, landing against his chest, and he buried his nose in my hair.
“Babe,” he said against my ear. “Christ, you smell nice.”
My belly swooped at his rough, sexy voice. God, it promised lots of dirty things. “I couldn’t let you leave without coming to talk to you.”
“Fuck talking,” he gritted out, hands going to my butt.
He squeezed and I couldn’t help it, I giggled like a lunatic. He was happy to see me. I knew it. He did regret ending it between us.
I’d envisioned, so many times the last month, how this would go down. But this wasn’t one of them. I mean, the ending up in his bed part, yes. The how I got here, definitely not.
His mouth was at my neck, my jaw, kissing me, sucking on my skin, making me squirm, making me forget everything but his strong arms, his hard body pressed against mine. I pulled off my glasses and put them on the table by the bed as his lips found mine. He kissed me like he was trying to break some kind of Guinness kissing record and rolled, covering me with his much larger body.
“I thought you’d be mad at me for coming here,” I said, my face flaming hot with need and embarrassment as he tugged my sweater up. All the way up. It was bunched under my arms, exposing my bra.
I made a little squeak as he tugged down the lace covering one of my breasts and it spilled out.
He groaned and dipped his head, his mouth catching one of my nipples as he burrowed a hand between us and undid my jeans. He sucked my nipple harder and I gasped, bucking under him.
This was more than we’d ever done. Grifter and I had made out, a lot. He’d felt me up over my clothes, but he’d gone slow with me. Jesse was used to girls who were more experienced, but he’d seemed okay with what we’d been doing.
“Jesse?” Yes, I’d come here tonight to give myself to him, but something seemed off, was different. He was different.
“Jesse…?”
“You feel so good, baby.”
Zaps shot through my belly, lower, at his growled-out words.
He was moving fast, but it’s not like I was a virgin.
I’d had sex with my ex, Jarod—we’d dated for six months—and okay, it had only been once, and looking back, I’m not sure it could even be classified as that since it lasted like five seconds. But it had happened, even if I’d been actively trying to scrub it from my mind ever since.
What happened after, the things Jarod said, filled my mind, and my nerves started to get the better of me.
Stop it.
I’d let those memories of Jarod get in my head when I’d been seeing Jesse before. I wouldn’t let it happen again.
No, Jesse would never make me feel the way Jarod had.
Jesse kissed his way up my body, his mouth coming down on mine again, and he groaned against my lips, like he couldn’t get enough of me.
His jean-covered thighs worked their way between mine, and he ground down, pressing into me.
“So sexy,” he said and started rolling his hips. He did that for a while, rubbing against me. It felt…okay, I guess. The bed squeaked and shook as he dry humped, well, rutted, against my inner thigh. I wasn’t even getting the friction I needed anymore.
“Um…Jesse…”
His movements became agitated. “Fuck. Suck my dick…get me hard.”
Um what?
He rolled to his back, yanked the front of his jeans open, and pulled out his impressive but mainly flaccid penis. It slapped against his stomach. “Suck it.”
I’d never really given anyone a blow job before. I’d had a penis in my mouth for like three seconds, again with my ex, but I’d barely wrapped my mouth around him and it’d been all over. And Jesse expected me to get him hard?
I felt like an idiot. Not sure what to do. Embarrassed. I kind of wanted to get off the bed and run away. But this was Jesse, and I wanted this to be perfect. So I climbed over him and scooted down a bit. Taking his soft dick in my hand, I licked the wrinkly skin, kissed it, kind of rubbing it a bit at the same time.
I did this for a while, but nothing was happening. I was doing it wrong, and this was confirmed to me when Jesse pressed his hand to my forehead and pushed me away.
“Forget it.”
I blinked at him, startled, fighting back tears. “I’m s-sorry, I-I’ve never done this before. Just tell me what you need me to do—”
A snore rolled out of him.
“Jesse?”
Nothing.
I crawled up the bed and touched his face. Humiliation burned my cheeks. He was out cold. I’d put him to sleep sucking his dick.
He muttered something, then rolled, covering me in the process and pinning me to the bed.
I squirmed, tried to push him off, but he was too heavy. I stared up at the ceiling, mortified, heartbroken, unable to move under his weight. I would not cry.
As soon as he rolled off me, I was out of there.
Jesse
My head thumped and my mouth felt like I’d been sucking on a sponge all night.
I shifted.
Shit, I was on top of someone. I vaguely remembered some chick coming into my room before I passed out.
A familiar scent filled my head and I froze. I jerked back, looking down at the owner of the soft, rounded body beneath me.
“The fuck?” I choked. “Lila?”
She stared up at me with furious eyes, red-rimmed like she’d been crying, and shoved at my chest. I lifted up onto my hands and got an eyeful of her bare tit. Her sweater had been shoved up around her neck, her bra cup yanked down, revealing soft round flesh and a sweet rosy nipple.