Fuck, I’d thought about her every day. Every night.
Thinking about her gorgeous smile, her sweet scent, her soft lips. Those goddamn lips. She didn’t know it, but she’d gotten me through every shitty goddamn day.
I ate up the sight of her. The last couple of months I’d forced myself to stop texting her, convinced it was the only way to get over my obsession with this girl.
But seeing her now—I’d been full of shit.
I wasn’t fucking over her.
I inwardly cringed. I’d sent her a bunch of humiliating messages after one particularly crappy fucking day. I’d spilled my guts like a loved-up, pathetic teenager, basically begging her to talk to me.
And sweet little Lila had made her feelings clear by saying nothing at all. I didn’t blame her. I sure as shit wasn’t right for her. Which was why I was going to stay away. It wasn’t going to be easy, and it sure as hell didn’t feel natural. When I wanted something, I went after it.
This time I couldn’t have what I wanted. It pissed me off.
She was studying her phone, a little frown on her beautiful face.
Christ, she was gorgeous.
I wanted to stride across the street, pull her into my arms, and own that mouth so bad I actually took a step forward. The door opened again and a guy walked out, tall, wearing a cowboy hat and a cocky shit-eating grin. Lila turned, straightened her glasses, and smiled at him.
Fuck, no.
Cowboy douchebag slung an arm around her slim shoulders and she leaned in.
My heart wrenched out of my chest—
She glanced up.
Her big brown eyes came straight to mine, pinning me to the spot. It hit like a forked lightning strike. Head. Heart. Balls. A three-in-one shot.
I stood frozen as she tilted her head slightly to the side. I didn’t look the same—my hair was buzzed and I had a pretty decent beard—but then her eyes widened, recognition hitting her just as hard, there was no missing it.
Yeah, Bambi, I’m back.
She sucked in a breath and her eyes moved over me. Christ, it was like she was touching me.
The door opened behind me, and then Sofia was there, pressing against me, clinging to my side. Lila flinched as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, holding tight.
Lila’s gaze dropped to her feet, then she was walking away with cowboy-fuck-face toward his truck.
“Okay, Soph?” I forced out past the bolder in my throat.
My sister-in-law nodded, face pressed against my chest. “It’s done.”
Trix, one of the tattooists at Rocktown Ink, stood at the door, her dog Jimmy Chew at her side. I could have done this, but Sofia’d been touchy, nervous, even around me these last few months. Inking over my brother’s name on the front of her hip would have been too much for her right now.
Trixie was a pro, someone removed from the situation, and I knew she’d do Sofia right. I gave her a chin lift. “Thanks, Trix.”
“No problem.” She had an odd look on her face that I couldn’t read, but it was gone when her gaze returned to my sister-in-law. “Take care, Sofia.”
Soph smiled at her. “Thanks again, Trixie.”
Trix dipped her chin and led her dog back inside.
Soph put on her jacket and I climbed on my bike, starting it. She climbed up behind me as I glanced up. A truck passed by us. Lila was sitting in the passenger seat, that fucking asshole driving, and she was purposely not looking at me.
But then her eyes lifted at the last minute, locking on mine. Omph. Another lightning strike. She quickly looked away, like she didn’t know me. Like I didn’t exist.
Cool. Cool. Cool. That didn’t feel like she’d stomped on my balls at all.
You’re the one who ended it, asshole.
And the reason for walking away from Lila was still there. Nothing had changed. She was still a sweet little librarian. And I was a biker who regularly cleaned up my club’s messes with my fists.
She was innocent.
I was an emotionally stunted manwhore with no morals.
She was perfect.
I was a piece of shit who came from a long line of pieces of shit.
My fingers curled into a tight fist as I imagined smashing it into cowboy-shrimp-dick’s face. The skin pulled over my already abused knuckles, opening a couple of cuts put there by some other asshole’s face.
Yeah, fucking up her boyfriend will totally earn you brownie points, dickhead.
I pulled out onto the street, and Sofia wrapped her arms around my waist, leaning into the corner with me as I headed for home.
As much as I hated that guy with Lila on sight, there was no doubt in my mind that he was better for her than I’d ever be.
I had to stop thinking about her. I was home. She’d moved on. I needed to stop fantasizing about her. Stop wanting her.
When I finally settled down, it’d be with someone more like Soph. Someone used to the life, who understood it. Someone who’d drink and party and laugh with me, then fuck until dawn.
That’s what I needed.
A nervous little librarian who blushed when I squeezed her tit, who fucking gasped and slammed her legs shut when I tried to touch her pussy, who stammered and trembled when I said dirty shit to her was not for me.
I’d shake this obsession I had for her.
I had to.
Lila
I was running late to open the library.
“Espresso, coming up,” Addie said, grinning at me.
“You’re an angel, you know that, right?”
Addie owned the Lake’s End Café. Her business was set up at the front of the small cottage, and she lived in the back. She had the magic touch. Anything she cooked, baked, or poured was pure heaven.
This morning I needed caffeine, big-time. Sleep had been elusive last night, had been all week. All I could think about was Jesse—no, Grifter. Jesse seemed too personal now. I couldn’t get the image of him and his gorgeous, stunningly sexy girlfriend cuddled up together by his bike out of my head.
Which had led to images of them cuddled up in his bed. Though I’m sure they were doing more than cuddling. Doing things I’d shied away from. Been afraid of. Scared to be anything but the good girl my parents had forced me to be for the longest time.
My reusable to-go cup was suddenly under my nose, as well as a brown paper bag. “Here you go, Ly. And a muffin, ’cause you look like you could use it.”
I smiled at Addie. “I love you.”
“You can stop kissing my ass, you got your muffin.” Her long, curly black hair was tied back, her lips curled up.
“What can I say, I’m a whore for your muffins.”
Addie burst out laughing. “The shit you say.” She tilted her head to the side. “So why do you look like you’re about to fall asleep where you’re standing?”
“I look that bad?”
Her dark brown gaze moved over me, assessing. “You look hot, but you’re also rocking some serious bags under your eyes.” She perked up. “Did a certain cowboy keep you up last night?”
I inwardly cringed. “Har har. Brooks is a gentleman.”
I wished he was the reason I hadn’t slept. If only I could get enthusiastic enough about him to lure him to my bed and bone his brains out.
Addie cackled. “Booooring. There’s always tonight.”