“You’re still in your uniform,” Madeline said. She wore a soft sweater and a pair of leggings with short fur-lined boots.
Ken glanced down at his brown-and-tan uniform, complete with a star on the pocket. Today he was even wearing the dorky tie. Loosening the tie, he said with an attempt at casual detachment, “Yeah. I just got home a few minutes ago.”
“Oh no. Is everything all right?” Her big eyes were dark gray in the dim lighting of the hall. “Did something happen?”
“Big accident this afternoon. Three people were injured. One of them serious.”
“Oh no. I can wait if you need to—”
“No, no. It’s fine. We got it taken care of. I’m done for the day. Come on in.” He tried unsuccessfully to keep Marlowe on all four paws. The dog didn’t appreciate not being greeted properly and was trying to get his front paws up on Madeline’s shoulders so they could hug it out.
Madeline crouched down to pet and talk sweet to Marlowe, causing him to writhe in bliss for a minute. Then she straightened up and followed Ken into the living room.
He pulled his tie all the way off and undid a couple of buttons on his shirt before he gestured Madeline onto the couch.
When she sat down, he sat down beside her, holding Marlowe back from jumping up between them. “Go lie down,” he said firmly when the dog sat, shook, and panted up at Madeline, waiting eagerly for more attention.
Marlowe gave a reluctant sniff but obeyed immediately, walking over to do four circles and flop down on the living room dog bed.
That taken care of, Ken raised his eyes to Madeline’s face.
She was biting her lip. Twisting her hands in her lap.
He swallowed over a lump in his throat and muttered, “If you’re gonna dump me, just go ahead and do it.”
Her eyes flew up. “What? You think I’m going to dump you?”
“Aren’t you? Isn’t that why you’re all nervous and reluctant?”
“No!” She’d been pale, but her cheeks were starting to flush now. “I thought you might want to dump me.”
“Why would I want to dump you?” He was so astounded he didn’t guard his words. “That’s the last thing I’d ever do.”
She gave a giggle that sounded like a release of nerves. Her hands were still twisting on her lap. “Well, I thought maybe you...”
“Maybe I what?” He couldn’t resist any longer. He reached over and covered both her hands with one of his. Hers felt small and cool. They grew still at his touch.
“Maybe you were getting tired of me. Annoyed that I’m so... so uptight about everything.”
“You’re not uptight about everything. Just about people finding out about us. And I get that. I do.”
“You do?” Her expression was hopeful. So incredibly sweet. He wasn’t sure what he’d ever done in his life to deserve it.
“Yeah. I do. Would it be easier if it weren’t so important that we keep this secret? Sure, it would. But I get why you don’t want the pressure of everyone knowing. You had a hard time with Josh, and that takes a while to get over. It’s okay with me.”
“You’re sure?” She moved her hands so she was holding his in both of hers. “Because this morning it sounded like you were getting frustrated, and I don’t want you to not be... not be happy.”
She must have picked up some of his feelings. He needed to be more careful about that.
“I’m happy,” he told her. “Being with you for the past month has made me very happy. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Okay. So you want to keep doing this?”
“Of course I do. I was just worried because Jacob seemed to figure out—”
“He did. He figured it out. And I told Ria and Skye this afternoon. But they swore they wouldn’t tell anyone, and Jacob won’t either. I think we’re okay for now.”
“Okay then.” He was intensely relieved—so much that he was suddenly so exhausted he could barely keep his eyes open. And maybe there was a tiny little twist in his heart that was disappointed—that the whole thing hadn’t been blown open, that the entire truth hadn’t come out.
But the truth coming out wouldn’t do what he wanted it to do. It would just assure that he’d lose her for good.
Better to have something—have this—than have nothing of her at all.
She leaned over and cupped his cheek. “You look tired, Ken.”
She sounded so tender that his chest hurt. His eyes fell closed. “I am. It’s been a long day.”
“Yeah. You want me to go so you can get some rest.”
His eyes popped open. “No! You don’t have to leave. Have you had anything to eat?”
“No. Not really.”
“Me either. Let’s see what I can dig out of my fridge.” He hefted himself up, although every muscle in his body ached, and limped into the kitchen, Marlowe immediately alert and at his heels.
Madeline came with him, and together they found enough stuff to make sandwiches and the leftovers of a fruit salad Katie had given him a couple of days ago. They ate in the kitchen, Marlowe waiting hopefully for any crumbs to drop his way. They cleaned up and went into the backyard to throw Marlowe the ball for a while so the dog could get some energy out and do his business. It was dark, and his backyard was surrounded by a tall privacy fence. He thought it was probably safe enough for Madeline to be standing next to him.
All it would take would be one of his neighbors catching a glimpse of them here together, and their secret affair would be secret no longer.
She didn’t seem as skittish as normal. She didn’t try to hide in the house. She was quieter than normal, but so was he.
Mostly he was tired and relieved.
Since she was still hanging out here, he assumed she wanted to have sex. He hoped he’d have the energy to satisfy her tonight.
He hoped he could even get it up.
When they came back inside, Ken couldn’t think of any other excuse for delay. “You want to stay here tonight? I should probably take a shower, but after that we can...”
She looked down at the floor. “I’d like to stay, but to tell you the truth, I’m not sure I’m in the mood for... for much of anything exciting tonight.” He could tell she was nervous by that confession.
He almost groaned in relief. “Oh, thank God. I’m wiped out. I’d have tried, if you wanted to do some stuff, but I’m not really in the mood either.”
She smiled at him, surprised and relieved and heart-stoppingly fond. “Really?”
“Yeah. You want to watch some TV?”
“Sounds good to me.”
So they stretched out onto the couch together—her body stretched out against his, tucked between him and the back of the couch—and they found an old crime procedural on a streaming channel that they both liked.
After about a half hour, Marlowe climbed up with them, curling up at their feet. There wasn’t really room on the couch for all three of them, but they made do.
Ken couldn’t remember anything he’d enjoyed more than watching TV with Madeline cuddled up at his side. They occasionally made a few comments, but mostly they just relaxed.
During the second hour, Ken actually fell asleep. He woke up an hour later to discover that both Madeline and Marlowe were sleeping too.