“I don’t know what to do, Cord. We weren’t close but she didn’t deserve that.” Not knowing what to say to her, I lean down and capture her lips with mine. Our kiss is heated and full of lust. My hands knot in her hair, pulling her impossibly closer to me. I want nothing between us but the air we breathe and even that seems like too much. Ava wraps her arms around my neck as I lift her body in my arms. As if it’s second nature, she wraps her legs around my waist, locking them at the ankle.
“I can’t stand it anymore.” Grunting against her lips, I reach between us. Grabbing my cock, I ease it inside of her.
I’m taken aback by the raw feel of having her without anything in between us. No barriers, no restraints.
“Cord, I don’t know.” I know what she wants to say but too goddamn bad for her.
“I’m clean, Ava. I’ve never been with anyone without protection.” Nipping at her neck, she lowers her pussy down my length. “Goddamn!” I bite down on her shoulder as she grinds against me. So intense, I take her hard. There is no in between right now. She needs this as much as I need her.
“Cord! Harder!” Knowing that she needs to remove all thoughts of her father, I slam into her harder. I have to give this woman what she wants. Our bodies slam into each other as she climbs higher. Her lips are all over me like she may never have the chance to kiss me again. It’s almost a bittersweet feeling. Warmth floods me as I thrust into her a few more times. When her body locks down on mine, I let my seed hit her as deeply as I can. Ava rocks her body against mine as she lets the rest of her orgasm take hold of her. Her head lands on my shoulder but her legs stay tightly wound around me.
“It’s ok, mia bella ragazza.” Her sniffles begin again before I pull out of her and set her down. I grab the body wash and start to wash away everything that’s hurting her before we step out.
I carry Ava to the bed wearing nothing but a towel. Why I give a shit so much is beyond me, but I have an overwhelming urge to hold her. Ava’s always made me feel differently when she’s around and now isn’t any different. Laying her naked body on the bed, I pull my towel free. Climbing onto the bed next to her, I tell myself this is for her not me. I crawl up behind her before pulling her body flush against mine. Her back to my front, I hold her tightly.
“Everything will work out, Ava.” I can hear her sniffles. I can feel the way her body shakes against mine. The storm rages on outside as I hold her in my arms. So many regrets. I regret not being a better man. I regret not being able to give her the love that she so deserves. I don’t regret taking my father’s life and turning into the man I’ve become today though. It was all for a higher purpose. The purpose of building a legacy. A legacy that began generations ago. The cruel realities of the world eat away at the blackened soul within my body. Nothing can change that; nothing can break the spell that my life is under. Inhaling deeply, I want to keep the scent of Ava for as long as I can. Never letting her go would be perfect in an ideal world. Nothing in my life is ideal.
“Can I ask you something?” Talking isn’t my strong suit.
“Yes.” I hold my breath, waiting to hear what she has to say.
“If things were different for you, would we have a chance?” Stroking the hair down away from her face, I sigh.
“What’s the point of wondering, Ava? Nothing will change me,” I tell her. Ava rolls in my arms to face me and I can see the look on her face, she isn’t going to let this go.
“I know, Cord. But you had to have been different before. You had to have wanted things in life.” I close my eyes. I don’t like to rehash the past but if it keeps her calm, I will.
“When I was younger, I wondered if love actually existed. I’d never known it, so I wasn’t sure it was out there. I saw the way the other kids at school acted when their parents would come in for parent day. They were happy, practically fucking glowing. Then there was me.” I take a deep breath to steady myself before I speak again. “My mother was killed when I was born.” Ava gasps before her hand comes to rest on my cheek.
“I didn’t realize she was killed.” Nodding my head slowly, I continue, “You wanted the dark truth, Ava. Just remember that when I’m finished.” Her eyes tear up again, but I don’t look into them this time. I look past them. At the person she wants me to see.
“My father beat her so badly that she went into labor with me. I was born three hours later to a mother that had no pulse or life left in her. We never spoke of her. I asked occasionally but my father was as evil as I am. I may in fact be the son of the devil.” Whether she wants to believe it or not, the truth is out there.
“Where is your father now?” Her fingers trail down my cheeks as I try to avoid the inevitable question.
“I grew up with hatred in my veins. There was nothing good in my younger years. I grew up hated and I knew it. When I was twelve, I was bigger than most kids my age. I was a good six feet tall. I learned at an early age that I had to fight so I trained myself. That night, my father beat me until I could barely see straight, but I stood up to him.” Ava swallows hard before she speaks.
“You killed him.” It wasn’t a question. It was the truth.
“I did. I took great pride in taking his life. I went into the Navy when I was old enough. I thought I could find my way there, find a place but it only made me worse. When I was shot, I was released of my duties. They said I’d never have full use of my shoulder again.” Her eyes never leave mine as much as I wished they would.
“So you started fighting?” I nod once again. She can see through me. I’m like a ghost to her, so much of me visible to her and only her.
“It’s what I was good at. It made me feel like a person, like I was worth something. I never knew how much I needed that. Once my uncle came to me, I knew what I was needed to do. He was sick and I needed to be groomed properly for this job. He did just that.” Ava’s fingers continue their way across my face and down my jawline.
“You’ve always been dark, Cord.”
Chapter 23
I woke up early but was afraid to move. I didn’t want Ava to wake up. She didn’t sleep well last night, and I know how hard that can be on your body. Hell, I live with that every single night. I watch her sleep instead. The things I let her know about my life should scare me, yet I know they are safe within her. Watching the way she fell apart, knowing what her father did made me think she could understand me, if only slightly. What sealed it was when she said that I’ve always been dark. I suppose she was right about that. Beaten into your own birth was enough to have done that, yet I like to believe that it developed over time.
“Mia bella ragazza.” Whispering the words, I run my fingers through her silky hair. She’s so soft and delicate but she has the heart of a warrior. Her eyes flutter before opening and locking with mine.
“Morning.” Leaning down, I press my lips to hers.
“Morning. I didn’t want to wake you.” Ava sighs before she looks up at me.
“I have to confront him. I know I have to but how?” Shaking my head, she most certainly will not be confronting him. Does she not understand what that man is capable of?