Indie nods her agreement. “I love that idea! Now, let’s see a few more options.”
My confidence builds the longer I’m with these women as I try on a dozen more outfits. Some are definite nos, while others give me the same catcalling reaction as the first.
Once we’re done, Sophie takes us to her favorite salon. I feel like I’ve been transported to a different planet as they paint my hair and lace it with aluminum foil, letting the deep blue color seep into my natural brown. As I glance into the mirror, I stare at my reflection then make eye contact with Suzette, who grins and gives me a thumbs up.
“You’ve always been gorgeous,” she states matter-of-factly. “But you’re going to knock them on their asses.”
Them? It still feels weird to hear that, and I’m not sure how I feel about the situation. But I do appreciate the girls who I now know have my back. Even if the feeling is foreign as hell.
“You think?”
“I know.”
Releasing all the pent up oxygen in my lungs, I squeeze my eyes shut and pray that Suzette’s right. Because I’m done being the backup for Levi. Speaking of which…my phone vibrates.
Levi: Hey. Conner’s been staring at his phone all day. I’m starting to get jealous. How’s my best friend?
Forehead wrinkling in confusion, I reread Levi’s message a dozen times, trying to interpret his message the way he’d meant it, but I come up empty. I mean, yeah, Conner and I have been texting a little bit here and there trying to figure out the details for our date. But it’s not like we’ve been flirting or anything. Besides, why the hell would he care? Honestly, I’m surprised he even noticed.
“What is it?” Suzette asks curiously. Her question seems to grab the attention of Indie and Sophie too.
With three sets of eyes on me, I reread the message aloud then add, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means he’s jealous,” Sophie answers.
“From a platonic perspective or a romantic one?” I ask.
Indie shrugs. “I don’t think he knows. Although, the best friend part almost made it sound like a dig. But I think he was trying to remind himself about the label he has on you more so than he was trying to remind you.”
“What do I say back?”
“Tell him that he should be jealous,” Suzette suggests. “I mean, isn’t that the goal in the first place?”
“Good point.”
Pulling up the message, I type my response but leave out Suzette’s suggestion.
Me: I’m good. Having a girl’s day, actually.
Levi: A girl’s day? I didn’t know you knew what those were.
I roll my eyes and relay the message.
“You should just send him a pic of your vag to remind him you have one,” Sophie jokes. Her brash comment pulls fits of laughter from the rest of us.
“That would go over well,” I reply sarcastically before going back to my texts.
Me: I am a girl, remember? I mean, I know my boobs are small, but they’re still there.
Levi: Your tits are perfect. But seriously, who are you with?
I stay silent but reread the first part of his text over and over again as my friends chatter around me.
Suzette leans closer. “What’d he say?”
“Uh….” I hand the phone to Suzette, who squeals, “No freaking way! Your tits are perfect?! Your tits are perfect! He’s totally into you, Charlie. Let’s send him a picture.”
Before I can protest, all the girls gather around my chair, their hair sporting the same foils as mine. We all make funny faces before snapping a quick picture and sending it to Levi.
Seconds later, his response is delivered to my phone.
Levi: Are you at a salon? Who are you, and what have you done with my best friend?
Me: I’m still me. Just a more…dolled up version.
Levi: Don’t let Conner change you, Charlie. You’re perfect the way you are.
For some reason, his message makes me want to cry, and I have to choke back the tears that threaten to roll down my cheeks.
Thankfully, the girls are too lost in their chatting to notice my physical response to Levi’s message, and I’m grateful for a minute to myself where I can gather my thoughts. I want to yell at him. To tell him that if I am so perfect the way I am, then he should’ve noticed me by now. He should’ve kissed me for real instead of hiding behind the guise of simply helping me out. Like the kiss was for my benefit, and he was just being selfless. I don’t want him to be selfless. I want him to want to kiss me. To need it more than his next breath. I want him to go crazy with lust when he looks at me instead of only seeing the little girl he played video games with while growing up.
I want to drive him crazy. I want to consume his thoughts the same way he’s consumed mine for years.
Speechless, and not in the mood to argue with him, I ignore his message altogether and set my phone aside.
“What’s wrong?” Indie murmurs beside me when she senses my morose mood.
“He told me not to change. That I’m perfect the way I am.” I laugh, dryly.
“You are perfect the way you are. But it’s also okay to step out of your comfort zone. Before I met Rhett, I was with a guy named Anthony. We’d been together for thirteen years, and I was miserable; I just didn’t know it. I know that sounds weird, but it’s true. I was so comfortable being miserable that I didn’t even recognize how unhappy I was. That’s when Rhett came into the picture, and I saw the potential of something new if I just grabbed on to it. And you, right now, are grabbing on to that potential. Whether it’s with Conner or Levi or neither of them. You’re addressing your needs, and you’re going after what you want. And I’m so proud of you for it.”
Finally, one of those damn tears I’ve tried so hard to hold in escapes the corner of my eye.
Wiping it away hastily, I give Indie a watery smile. “Thanks.”
“Anytime, Charlie Brown.” She winks, and I laugh at her use of the insane nickname, shocked that I’m not offended that it’s referencing a boy cartoon character.
Yup. Change can be a good thing even if it’s scary as hell.
“So, when is your date with Conner?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Tomorrow night.”
“And what are you guys doing?”
“We’re going to a place called…Texas Roundup or something?” I shrug. “Apparently, it serves cowboy sushi, which is made out of steak and chicken instead of fish.”
“Ooo, that sounds yummy.”
“I hope so! After that, we’re going to just watch a movie at his place.”
“And does Levi know you’ll be at his apartment?” she questions.
I shake my head. “Nope. I have no idea if he’ll be there, either. But I told Conner I wanted something relatively low-key, and that’s what he suggested.”
Suzette gives her opinion on the matter. “Sounds like the perfect opportunity to get to know Conner as well as seeing Levi’s reaction to you dating someone else.”
“Yup. Couldn’t have planned it better myself,” Sophie agrees.