“Charlotte why are there so many clothes on the floor?”
“It must have been the rats.” She answers deadpanned.
Excuse me? The what now? Rats?
“What are you talking about, what rats?”
“The baby rats made the mess.”
Okay I’ll play along.
“Is that so? And where did they come from?” I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the door jamb, this should be interesting.
“The electricity holes in my room.” She tells me pointing to the power point under her window.
“Really?”
“Yep. They’re really small and came in and pulled down all the clothes then went into the kitchen to steal some cheese. You didn’t see them because they’re very sneaky, sometimes invisible.” I blow out a breath and rub my hands over my face. I’m tired already and it’s only been an hour. She’s creative, I’ll give her that. I get down on the carpet to sit beside her then sit her on my lap to get her undivided attention.
“Listen sweetheart, I know you miss Mummy and were very scared yesterday but I promise she’s okay and will be home in a couple of days but that doesn’t mean you can be naughty and not listen to me, because I’m going to be right here looking after you. Until then can we work as a team because Daddy was scared too and the truth is I’ve never made French toast before.”
“You haven’t?” She says with wonder.
“Nope. Can you show me how?”
By the time we get to the hospital it’s eleven o’clock and I have never felt so flustered and out of my depth before. Facing a boardroom is a piece of cake compared to dressing and trying to feed a child. I left the kitchen in a mess from my attempt to follow Charlotte’s instructions on French toast. In the end I said fuck it and we went out for pancakes instead.
After giving up on breakfast it was time to dress her which in itself was another battle. She insisted on dressing herself so I left her to it going to check on her five minutes later. Charlie’s socks didn’t match. She was testing me, seeing how far she can push me so I let her wear the two different coloured socks, one red, the other orange with her pink sneakers, yellow shorts and purple t-shirt. She’s a mini rainbow. Her hair is in uneven, lopsided pigtails which she insisted she had to have. Hey, at least I tried.
I walk into Alannah’s room with Charlotte in one arm and an overnight bag in my other hand.
Alannah starts laughing as soon as she sees us.
“So I take it the morning went well?” I drop Charlie on the bed allowing her to climb onto her mother’s lap. I let out a breath and fall back into the chair.
“Don’t ask.” I have such an extreme appreciation for Alannah dealing with this and doing so much on her own for so long. She’s super woman. “I don’t know if I can survive tonight on my own, this morning was horrible.” I groan.
“Welcome to parenthood.” She chuckles.
Chapter 22
Alannah
I have never been so happy to be home. The boredom in that hospital room was killing me, there is only so much time I can spend reading and sleeping. I was allowed to leave this afternoon with strict instructions on resting and taking it easy from the doctor.
I am so grateful for Nick being here, looking after Charlotte even though there have been a few bumps and learning curves for him. When I spoke to my mother yesterday, she was ready to cut her vacation short and come home but I assured her that everything was fine, Nicholas was here and besides he needs this. He needs the practice and responsibility of looking after her on his own, up until now it’s been visits and fun stuff and Charlotte needs to realise she can’t wrap her father around her little finger and get away with everything. He may not like having to discipline her but it’s necessary.
He gets me settled on the couch with pillows and blankets, fussing like a mother hen.
“I’m fine, Nick.”
“Now that you’re home I was thinking of staying at a hotel if you think you’ll manage in the evenings.”
“Why?”
“You don’t exactly have the space or a spare room, Alannah and I definitely won’t fit on your couch.”
I shake my head at him. I won’t hear of it, it feels wrong kicking him out after all he’s done. We can work around the sleeping arrangements. In fact I would feel better knowing he’s here if I can’t get up to see to Charlie. He could sleep in Charlotte’s room and Charlie with me but I don’t want to risk making her sick too.
“How about you take my bed with Charlie and I’ll sleep in her room.” I suggest.
“I don’t know.” He hesitates.
“Please, Nick. I want you to stay.” He is looking a bit uncomfortable and rubs the back of his neck.
“I mean is that appropriate, for me to sleep with her in the same bed. I’m not sure if I should.”
“It is perfectly fine.” I think it’s sweet he is worrying so much.
That night while I’m tucking Charlotte in, she gets all teary eyed when I hug her, clinging onto my arm when I try to move away.
“What’s wrong?”
“I never want to lose you.” She sniffles.
“Oh sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere. Are you?”
“No.”
“See, neither one of us is leaving. We are going to be together for a long time. Forever and ever. Especially in here.” I tell her as I point to her heart.
“But what about when I’m a grown up?”
“What about it?”
“You’ll be old.” Thanks Charlotte.
“So?”
“Well old people die.” She answers like it’s common knowledge.
Why is she thinking about this stuff? Perhaps the image and trauma of finding me on the kitchen floor has affected her more than she has let on. I pull her closer into my body.
“Munchkin, that is not going to happen for a very, very long time. I promise you. I’ll be around until I’m a hundred. Hey, I’m a grown up and I still have my mum. Do you think grandma is old?” She thinks about it for a moment.
“No, but how old is she?”
“Fifty three.”
“That’s old,” She whines. I need to remember to pass on this little conversation to my mother.
“Okay, it’s time to sleep, I want you to think and dream of happy things, like how much I love you and what you would like to do tomorrow with Daddy.”
“Can Daddy read me a story?” Nick is standing in the doorway and steps inside upon hearing her request.
“Of course I will. Which book would you like?”
“Charlotte’s Web.” I grab the well-loved book off the shelf and pass it to him, leaving them to it.
A week has passed since Nicholas brought me home from the hospital. I called to thank John for taking care of Charlotte and also about how long I’ll be away from work. He was very understanding and told me that things have slowed down coming up to the holidays so he insisted I take from now until the new year off and to look after myself. I couldn’t thank him enough and hated leaving him without anyone to help him but he maintained that he’ll manage just fine.