I put a hand over my mouth, but it does nothing to stifle the sound, and I’m not sure I really want it to. My hand grows damp from the tears rolling down my cheeks, the curve of my smile pressed against my palm as my body continues to shake with emotion.
“Are you okay?” I jump at the sound of Mia’s voice. “Sorry, I thought you heard me come out.”
“It’s okay.” I lower my hands and do my best to make my face look normal, the skeptical look she gives me letting me know I’ve failed. “Did Watson send you out to check on me?”
“Nope. I told them I was going to use the bathroom and then I slipped out here.”
“I’m fine,” I assure her.
She snorts a laugh and leans against the building just like I am, tilting her head back to look up at the clear night sky overhead.
“I was engaged to a man before I realized I like women,” she says conversationally. “On paper, he was perfect, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why I was dreading our wedding more and more the closer it got. Then my best friend kissed me at my bachelorette party, and I was like holy shit, so that’s how it’s supposed to feel.”
My brain is too fried to form a proper response, so I settle for making a noise of agreement.
“I was happy, but it was so intense that I could’ve sworn I was about to come apart at the seams,” she goes on, and I make another sort of strangled sound of agreement. “Going back in and having another drink might help. Or, I can text the guys and tell them that I’m not feeling well, and you agreed to drive me home, and I can drop you back off at your place.”
As much good as it would probably do me to go home and get my thoughts together, the idea of sitting alone in my dark, silent house when I’m feeling like a can of shaken soda doesn’t appeal.
“I think I’m done drinking, but some water and another couple of hours of company won’t hurt,” I decide.
“Cool,” she says, still looking up at the stars overhead. “How about a few more minutes to enjoy the quiet before we head back into the fray?”
I shoot her a relieved smile. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
Chapter 11
Watson
I glance toward the back door for what has to be the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. I can still feel Ev’s lips against mine, and I’m trying to remember why exactly I didn’t take him up on his offer to go home and get naked together.
Oh right, because of the whole not wanting to be his first and the thing about the oats. But fuck, that kiss. Ungh.
I’ve never been kissed with so much passion, so much intensity. I drag my fingertips over my tingling lips, my heart still pounding violently.
“You don’t think he took off, do you?” I ask Jordy. He seemed okay, but what if my rejection hurt him? He worked up the nerve to kiss another man for the first time, and I told him I needed time to think? What the fuck is wrong with me? I could’ve let him down more gently, or I could’ve stopped being such a coward and taken him up on his offer to go home together. What’s a little broken heart, after all? I’ve certainly had more than my fair share. I could survive one more.
“Didn’t you drive him?” Jordy asks.
“Oh yeah.” I give my head a shake in an attempt to organize some of my thoughts. “But he could’ve called an Uber or something.”
“Yeah, he could’ve,” Jordy agrees. “You could go check on him.”
“He said he needed a few minutes,” I say, chewing my lip as I keep my eyes fixed on the door.
Maybe Jordy’s right. I shouldn’t have left him alone like that while he was still processing the kiss. I’m about to hop off my stool and go back out there when the back door swings open, and Ev steps through, followed by Mia. When did she go out there? They stop by the bar before making their way back over to us.
Ev looks relaxed and somehow even hotter than he did ten minutes ago. How is that possible? The man must be some kind of physical anomaly, getting more attractive every second until eventually, he’ll be so beautiful, everyone will be forced to either look away or risk burning their eyes from his perfection. Or maybe it’s that I know what his mouth tastes like now that’s making him almost too gorgeous to exist.
Honestly, what the fuck was he even thinking picking me as his first kiss? My confidence isn’t at all in short supply, but I do own a mirror and a pair of eyes. He could’ve had literally any man in here tonight, and I don’t think that’s an exaggeration. There are guys I know for a fact are in committed relationships who I’ve caught drooling over him.
We stay a little while longer, finishing our drinks and avoiding the dance floor. If I spend another second grinding with Ev tonight, I’m bound to throw all of my common sense out the window and go home with him. Stupid, cock blocking common sense.
“Ready to go home?” I ask him, leaning close enough so he can hear me, but being careful not to get too close this time. I only have so much self-control, and I’m on my last thread…my last frayed, weak thread.
He nods, and we both say quick goodbyes to Mia and Jordy and then fight our way back through the crowd and out to the parking lot.
“You were right. That was a pretty epic Halloween party,” he says.
My ears are ringing from the drastic change in noise level, and my entire body is suddenly very aware that the two of us are completely alone again.
“I made things weird by kissing you, didn’t I?” he asks when we reach my car. I stop, looking at him over the roof of the car. It’s dark out, but I can see the uncertainty on his face, his eyebrows scrunched in concern and his jaw set tightly.
“No,” I assure him. “Unless it’s weird that I’m still hard from a kiss that happened an hour ago,” I joke.
He huffs out the approximation of a laugh. “Me too,” he confesses.
“Ugh,” I groan. “You’re not making this easy.”
He cocks his head. “What exactly am I supposed to be making easy?”
“Resisting you.”
He puts his elbows on the hood of the car, leaning in as far as he’s able.
“I don’t think I want to make that easy for you,” he says, his voice dipping low, making me all the more glad for the car between us to keep me from throwing myself at him and shoving my tongue back into his mouth.
“Ev,” I groan his name.
“Okay, okay.” He pushes off the car and takes off his hard hat, running his fingers through his hair and letting out a long breath. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t push you. If you need time, take as much as necessary. And if you decide you aren’t interested in anything else, I hope we can still be friends.”
He looks like a kicked puppy as he gets into my car. Fucking fuck.
Everett
Watson is quiet the entire drive to my place, and I do my best not to feel like too much of an idiot. I don’t know if I misread the signals because I was so desperate to believe my feelings were mutual, or if I messed up the kiss so badly he changed his mind. I discreetly sniff myself to check if that could be the problem. I smell a bit like a bar, but nothing too offensive.
Maybe the kiss was too aggressive? Too much tongue? Not enough? Fuck, I need to know where I went wrong. I glance over at Watson, his fists clenched around the steering wheel, his attention focused on the road ahead.