“Since you’re the first person I’ve kissed in ages, any notes?” I ask as casually as possible.
“Notes?” he repeats with amusement, lifting one eyebrow but keeping his eyes straight ahead.
“Yeah, you know, anything I’ve gotten a bit rusty on? Or something I could do better next time.”
I catch a smile starting to tug on the corner of his lips. “Pretty confident there’s going to be a next time?” he teases.
“Well, I hope to fuck that wasn’t the last kiss I’ll have in my life.” There was a time right after the divorce that I thought that was exactly the case, that I would be single for the rest of my life rather than put another woman through what I did to Val or push myself outside my comfort zone. But now? Now I’ve seen the light at the end of the tunnel, and there’s no way I’m going to close my eyes and stay in the dark any longer.
So what if I’m forty-four and haven’t been with a man? Don’t I deserve happiness just like anyone else?
“Oh duh, you didn’t mean with me,” Watson says, chuckling awkwardly.
“That’s kind of up to you,” I remind him as we pull into my driveway.
“It was an incredible kiss,” he says, parking the car and finally turning his head to look at me. “Probably in the top five kisses I’ve had in my life.”
My heart somersaults, and I grin, resisting the urge to whoop out loud.
“What’s the problem then?” I ask.
“I just don’t know if this is smart. I like you, and I know our friendship is new, but it’s important to me. I don’t want to make this decision while I’m drunk as hell on your lips. I need some time to weigh it out.”
“I get it. Take all the time you need.”
“Thank you.”
I unbuckle and make a move to get out of the car and then pause.
“So, top five? Any tips on snagging that number one spot?” I ask with a grin, my hand on the door handle.
“Oh my god,” Watson complains with a chuckle, pushing my shoulder. “Get out before I do something stupid like kiss you again.” I hesitate, tempted to push his resolve. “Go,” he insists again.
I sigh and pull the handle to open the door. I glance back at him one last time before getting out of the car. He idles in the driveway until I let myself in, and then I hear the crunch of his tires as he backs out and drives away.
Stepping inside the house, I kick off my shoes and then lean against the door. This time I don’t laugh or cry. I just let myself feel. The sensation inside my chest is too big, and absolutely incredible.
I pull out my phone and pull up Val’s contact info, hovering my thumb over the call button for a few seconds before switching over to text.
Ev: I had the most incredible night of my life. There’s this guy I’m crazy about, and I finally worked up the nerve to kiss him. I didn’t know anything could feel like this. I think I could fall in l
I stop typing and erase the message. Not tonight, not when I’m feeling so high on this feeling. I don’t want anything to ruin it. Besides, Val is probably already asleep. Either that or still dealing with a sugared up eight-year-old.
I stick my phone back into my pocket and push off the door, heading down the hallway to my bedroom. The kiss plays on a continuous loop in my mind as I strip out of my clothes and climb into bed with a smile on my lips.
Chapter 12
Everett
It’s been a week since the kiss. A week of constantly checking my phone for any word from Watson, a week of talking myself out of dropping by Jack’s just to see if he’s there, a week of reliving that damn kiss again and again.
I straighten the couch cushions and wipe off the coffee table, looking for anything to do to distract myself and get my mind off Watson. Which—who am I kidding?—is a hopeless endeavor.
Restless and horny always seem to go together, and ever since I met Wats, I swear the feeling almost never seems to go away. I don’t think I’ve jerked off this much since I was a teenager, rubbing my dick raw. Fantasies of Watson’s mouth against my skin, against my lips, teasing my cock…. they play on repeat in my mind during all of my waking and sleeping hours, leaving me with a constant hard on.
I give up on tidying up, reaching down to palm my hard cock through my jeans and groaning. Even though I’m alone in my house tonight, I still close my bedroom door behind me after I slip inside, my stomach dancing with nerves and anticipation, my achingly hard cock pressed against my zipper. I’ve been trying to work up the courage for a couple of weeks now, and I’m so fucking horny right now, any apprehension I’ve had is almost non-existent.
I unzip my jeans, groaning with relief as my briefs tent forward, giving my erection more room. The red fabric is darkened with a wet stain of precum, my underwear stretched so taut that every ridge and wrinkle of my cock is easy to make out.
I reach down and palm my bulge, squeezing my hands around the hard steel of my arousal, feeling the heat through the relatively thin fabric of my underwear. Kicking my jeans off I make my way over to my dresser, pulling open the top drawer, the one that’s still just out of Livi’s reach, thank fuck.
And there it is, nestled among my underwear, along with a box of unopened condoms— which I purchased as a sort of motivator a few months ago when I was still trying to work up the courage to go into Jack’s, and a bottle of lube, half used thanks to my numerous jerk sessions lately. With one hand still on my cock, I reach into the drawer with the other, grabbing the lube and the small, smooth object beside it.
I’m not sure how many hours I spent browsing sex toy sites, trying to find a toy that looked appealing without being too intimidating. As curious as a large, realistic dildo made me—and by curious, I mean so horny I could hardly think straight—since I’ve never had anything but a single finger up my ass, I thought it would be smart to start a little smaller. I ended up purchasing a small bullet vibe with a slightly curved head for prostate stimulation. My cock jerks in my grasp as I imagine how it’s going to feel.
I toss the items onto the bed and strip out of my underwear, kicking them toward my crumpled jeans a few feet away, then pulling my shirt off and dropping it as well. My long, thick cock juts out in front of me, flushed dark with arousal, and wet at the tip. My mind conjures up the image of Wats spread out naked on the bed in front of me, his own cock in his hand, a wicked smile on his lips as he tells me to hurry up before he gets impatient and finishes without me.
My entire body pulses with longing so intense it nearly takes me to my knees. I can almost feel Watson’s lips against mine again, the solid heat of his body against mine. I lick my lips, desperately trying to recapture a ghost of the kiss we shared a week ago. I wrap my hand around my cock and give myself a few strokes, running my thumb over the damp head of my cock and spreading the precum. A shudder runs through me, my balls tightening and a moan slipping past my lips.
I force myself to let go of my dick and climb onto the bed. It takes me a minute or so to get comfortable, propping my pillows up just so and finding the right angle for my hips so I’ll be able to comfortably use the toy. Once I’m settled, I grab the vibrator and twist the base to bring it to life. It may be small, but it feels powerful as it buzzes in my hand.