“I was—I am. I’m doing fine.” Not great. Great would be off probation and not thinking about where Sadie was right now. Had she met the guy at the restaurant yet? “Sadie and I are friendly-ish.” I mentally cringed.
“Then you won’t mind inviting her over to our house tomorrow night for dinner and pool time? Katie had such fun with Parker during the barbecue; I think they’d get along well in the pool too.”
I pulled the fridge open, putting the door between the two of us to buy me a few seconds before I had to answer. “No. But why would you invite her? She would just feel awkward.” I slipped another bite of lasagna into my mouth.
“Mason James McKnight, we take care of the widows in our community. You will ask Sadie to dinner, and you will make sure she feels welcomed. And if she wants to bring her new man, you will let her.” Mom got her stabbing finger out as she approached me. I knew all too well what she had planned with that. It was her get my point across move, and my ribs felt the ghosts of jabs gone by.
“Fine, fine,” I said as I dodged her first attempt by ducking down and stepping out of the way. Then, I wrapped my arms around her to keep her from doing it again.
I kissed her on top of the head and gave her a quick squeeze. “I’ll do it.”
Mom seemed content with my answer as she turned and hugged me back. Then she rose up onto her toes and kissed my cheek.
“You’re a good guy, Mason, you know that, right?”
Seeing the love my mom had for me, so open and accepting, was hard to take in. I wanted to debunk her, but from the look in her eyes, her affection for me wasn’t fact driven. She loved unconditionally.
“Thanks, Mom. I had a great teacher.”
Mom’s cheeks flushed as she patted at her hair. “I should get going. Food’s in the fridge. It should last you the next week.”
I nodded as I followed after her. I held the door open, and she stepped out onto the porch. Then she turned to smile at me.
“Give yourself some grace. You went through some hard things.” Then her voice grew serious. “And call Heather. She can help.”
I cringed at her words. Heather. The shrink. Here I thought I’d pulled the wool over Mom’s eyes, that she thought I’d turned a corner—but no. She still saw me as broken. Instead of arguing, I nodded. “I’ll think about it.”
Mom looked as if she were going to keep pressing, so I waved, blew her a kiss, and slipped back inside.
Now alone, I gathered up my food and began to pace back and forth in the living room while I ate. I had so much to think about, and I knew sitting down wasn’t going to help me digest any of it.
Right now, if I wanted to discover what it was I truly wanted, I needed to keep moving. I worried that if I stopped, my thoughts would instantly go to Sadie and her date. And if that happened, I feared what I might do.
My love for Sadie was becoming too hard to ignore. And if my feelings for her won out in every argument with my logical, strategic side—I was going to do something stupid.
And that would destroy the tentative truce we’d called. I was hanging on by a thread as it was—I couldn’t afford to snap.
Chapter 16
Sadie
I wasn’t supposed to be here. The granite countertops and stainless steel appliances were proof of that. Everything about the McKnights screamed money. Our families had never been bosom friends—even though the McKnights were kind to everyone—we just didn’t run in the same circles. So the fact that I was standing in their mansion was strange and disarming.
Of course, Parker didn’t seem bothered in the least. “Come on, Mom!” He tugged my hand, and I let him pull me through the French doors and out to the stunning backyard. I’d been back here before as hired help, but never as an invited guest.
The pool was crystal blue with a few inflatable toys floating in the deep end. There was a basketball hoop as well, and I could imagine the McKnight brothers—and soon-to-be brothers-in-law—having epic games.
Thankfully, Jaxson and Lottie were in Texas and not cuddling by the pool. They were super cute together at the barbecue, but my thoughts had been on kissing way too much lately and I didn’t need a reminder that the one man who had lit a fire in my belly didn’t want me.
Harsh. But true.
He’d said as much. And then Parker had given me the rundown on Mason’s love strategy—the whole touchdown girl idea—and I couldn’t help but wonder if I was a horrible kisser. I mean, he’d wanted me up to that point. Then we’d made out like teenagers, and he’d just dropped me.
It wasn’t like I had a lot of experience. I mean, there was Camden, and there was Adam, although neither of them had complained.
Ugh!
I couldn’t help but feel defeated that I wasn’t Mason’s touchdown girl. I doubted I was even his first-down girl.
I glanced at the water, ready to throw myself in fully clothed just to shock these thoughts right out of my head.
Katie was in the shallow end. Her hair was in pigtails, and she had a stack of Barbies next to the pool’s edge. My motherly parts yearned for a little girl. I loved my boy more than life, but I’d always planned on at least two kids—one of each. Coming to terms with not being able to try for a girl after Adam was KIA had been difficult.
Katie brightened when she saw Parker. “Get in,” she called as she splashed the water.
Parker kicked off his shoes and threw his shirt on a chair. “I’m coming.”
I laughed at his eagerness and picked up his shirt to fold it.
“Are you coming?” he asked me, mid-stride.
I hesitated. I’d packed a suit but wasn’t sure how welcome I truly was in this house. Mrs. McKnight had been cool to me at the barbecue.
“You go ahead.”
He stopped and folded his arms. “Mom.” He gave me a stern look before darting his eyes around to see who was listening. Penny and Chris, the newly engaged couple, were on the other side of the pool, talking as they treaded water and kept an eye on Katie.
“It’s a swimming party,” Parker said with an emphasized “duh” at the end of his sentence.
I rolled my eyes but didn’t fight my smile. I liked that the main man in my life still worried about me. He wanted to make sure I had fun, and I knew if I didn’t comply, he would worry the rest of the evening. That was the last thing I wanted to have happen. “All right. I’ll go change.” There was a cabana for guests down a little path. I knew the way.
I raised my hand to shield my eyes and called to Penny. “Can I leave Parker with you for a minute?”
She opened her mouth to answer, but it was Mason’s voice I heard.
“I’ve got him.”
I whipped around to see him standing just outside the door in a pair of worn swim trunks. My heart leapt at the sight of him, and my body warmed with the memory of being pressed against all those muscles and cocooned in his embrace. “Thanks,” I said quickly as I ducked my head to hide my blush. Flush was more like it. Every inch of my skin warmed at his nearness.
I changed quickly and made my way back. I didn’t want anyone to think I was dumping Parker for free babysitting. He was playing basketball with Mason and Katie. The two kids were grinning and laughing easily as Mason bounced around them, pretending to fail at swatting the ball out of their hands.