So eloquently he’d ripped my heart out and then shoved it back in my chest along with a set of rules and regulations. You’re a fae now, Kira.
“Kira?” Jen had called out.
“Tell me you don’t,” I hissed at him. “Tell me it was all bullshit, that you made it up to get into my pants.”
I watched the muscle in his jaw flex, imagining his teeth grinding, his brows jerking down.
“Haven’t you got enough men, hovering around you, fighting to be by your side?”
“Just tell me you don’t,” I said. “That’s all you’ve gotta do.”
“I don’t,” he ground out, then speared me through with those harsh grey eyes.
I couldn’t seem to stop it, walking into this kind of pain like it was some sort of caress. I felt the tears prick my eyes but I shook my head. He wouldn’t be this tense, looking like it was me that had stabbed the knife between his ribs, not the other way around.
“Liar,” I’d croaked out, then got into the car.
“So,” I said, forcing my tone to be bright and friendly, “how’s things on the Rutherglen party bus?”
“A bit lonely to be honest,” Jen said, but she smiled to soften her words. “It’s OK, really. I remember my transition. I wouldn’t be hanging out on Vervain’s bus if I’d just turned. Well…” Her eyes slid sideways, a sly smile on her face. “Not unless she brought a whole lotta friends with her.”
“I keep telling you, I gotta box of dildos with your name on it,” the woman herself replied, picking up her cup of tea and shooting Jen a sidelong look before taking a sip. “I can fill every damn thing you want and still keep on coming. My refractory time is on point.”
I watched Jen consider that for a second, taking a flustered little breath before giving the other woman a little shove.
“I just thought… I’d had all these plans. I didn’t know if you were going to transition, but I felt like…like if you did, we could have…”
“We still can have, Jen,” I said, reaching across the table and taking her hand. “You’re my best mate. You’ve been through everything with me. I’m sorry I bailed—”
“You didn’t bail. You’ve been caught up, and Liam is being a possessive jerk.”
“So we’re talking about that now?” Vervain said. “Because goddamn, girl. I’ve never seen Liam Hartley look at anyone like he does you. Not even fucking Rhiannon.”
“Fucking Rhiannon.” Jen’s eyes rolled upwards. “I love Daddy, but seriously. What was he thinking, foisting her on us?”
This was the moment I should have struck a blow for the sisterhood and stopped any bitching about Rhiannon in its tracks, because what was she but a pawn in whatever game the Rutherglen was playing? But I didn’t.
“So what’s the deal?” I said.
“Well, she’s going to be a nightmare,” Jen replied with more heat than I was used to hearing from her. “She’s been on the phone to Daddy constantly. No sooner does she have one demand met, then she wants something else. If she’s angling to become lady of the manor, Daddy and I are going to have words.”
“But you’re the heir, right?”
“I’m the heir in waiting, until Dad decides he wants to step down or pass the reins over to me, which won’t be anytime soon. If she becomes Lady Rutherglen…” I squeezed her fingers tighter when I saw her eyes shine. “But enough about me.”
“Not enough about you,” I said. “We haven’t really talked for days. I can’t remember spending this long apart. Even when we do things together like watch the concert, I’m either stuck with a camera in my hand or off doing…whatever the fuck I’m doing with those guys. I’m a shitty friend, to ditch you the moment things start happening in my life.”
Those shining eyes got positively dewy at that. Her smile was a little watery but nonetheless warm.
“Ki, don’t you get it? I wanted this for you, for both of us. We were trapped inside Gisbourne, like rats in a cage. Of course we hung out all the time, because what else were we going to do? I love you and I always want to hang out, but I’m not going to be sulking in the corner because you have something going on. People are starting to see what I always knew—your strength, your beauty. Now, throw us poor neglected ladies a bone and fill us in on what the hell went on last night. Daddy’s freaking out about the maintenance bill the venue tried to foist on us. He managed to argue it was a natural disaster as the power went off in all the surrounding suburbs.”
So I told them. The food arrived and filled the table, and I forced the words out. It was hard to describe my introduction to court, the girl and her horned lovers.
“You needn’t worry about the girl,” Vervain said, dipping a fry in some ketchup. “Goaties,” she noted my quizzical look, “that’s the girls who take on the claracans as lovers. They don’t go with anyone else. Once you go monster cock complete with knot…” She illustrated what she meant by closing her fist and punching upwards, my eyes as wide as saucers. “No one else is as good for them. The claracan love it because it’s a steady supply of very willing pussy, and the girls love it as it’s the closest you can get to being fisted and fucked at the same time.” She munched on a few chips as we just stared. “What? Sweethearts, if you haven’t tried it, do not knock it. Ain’t no one missing your g-spot if they’re giving you the Muppet.” I cocked my head to one side. There was so much information in what she was saying, I was having difficulties parsing it. She laughed and then turned her hand into an imitation of a sock puppet, then showed it burrowing into the ring of the fingers of her other hand.
“Well, now I know a way to counter the boredom on the bus,” Jen said, attempting a joke, but I think we were all only half convinced.
“Yesss…” Vervain hissed, whipping out her phone. “I’ll express order some of the really good lube and have it shipped to our next stop.”
“OK, gauche question coming up, but are you gay, Jen?”
She smiled lazily at that, something I’d never really seen her do.
“Still got those human ideas in your head, Ki? Some fae, they come out totally straight or only same sex attracted, but most, they hover around in the middle. Like the Kinsey scale, though that’s pretty outdated now. If you look at the Klein Sexual Orientation Grid, that’s probably a better way of looking at it. It takes into account who people are sexually attracted to, who they fantasise about, who they fall in love with, who they feel the most comfortable with. Fae, we live outside all of the hetero-normative bullshit, outside of strict gender roles. When you’ve got people who are more or less humanoid looking, you don’t need those kind of strictures. People are with who they feel like being with, gender doesn’t really matter.”
She smiled as she watched me struggle to get my head around it.
“But yeah, most of my lovers are female. I’m the heir, I can’t afford to get pregnant yet, not until Daddy has settled on the alliance he wants for me. Babies are always welcome, we have so few of them, but I can’t chance it right now. So…” She leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Vervain’s lips. “I enjoy myself with those I like, who like me. I can’t form anything permanent.” I watched the other woman’s smile falter for a moment. “But I look after whoever I’m with.”