He smiled as he caught her eye.
‘Me to know, you to…’
She blushed all over. ‘I follow your news, watch your fan sites. I love keeping up to date with what you are doing. Not,’ she said hurriedly, ‘in a stalkerish way though, just out of interest. I mean, I am absolutely definitely not a stalker.’ Oh god, she thought, why can’t I just shut up!
He laughed.
‘Awww, that’s a shame, I love the idea of you stalking me.’
‘Don’t you have hundreds of stalkers?’ she asked as they emerged at the front of the house into the bright lights of the ornamental garden. The pathways were quieter now and Ana could hear some heavy beats coming from the secret garden.
‘Sounds like it’s kicking off now the old country star’s stepped aside,’ said Joel.
She liked his modesty. It made her wet, which was absolutely not what she wanted.
‘Is it like Almost Famous, when you’re actually famous? Has Kate Hudson hit on you? Oh my god, have you met Kate Hudson?’
‘I have, she’s lovely, but not my type. She’s just not uptight enough. I like— What about you? A trail of heartbroken exes who didn’t make the grade? No kids, no divorces? Living the middle-class dream you wanted so badly?’
There was a hint of bitterness in his comments that shocked her for a second. Could he really have been pining for her all these years? Could this be anything more than fantasy?
‘Not really, no – I am still doing the same job, incredibly, but I love it. It took me a while to settle down. As you know, I’m very particular. I spent much of my life thinking there was something better around the corner, that I’d find my baby daddy down the road.’
‘Well, maybe there still is?’ flirted Joel.
‘What, something better around the corner? No, it’s too late for all that,’ she said, more harshly than she intended. She was feeling a little nauseous and for a panicked second she worried it was morning sickness. But no one, surely, got morning sickness at midnight. She felt slightly dizzy and reached out for Joel’s arm.
‘I’m not feeling very…’ Her head was spinning and Joel wrapped his arm around her and helped her to a bench.
‘Let me get you some water,’ he said. ‘You’ll be OK?’
She nodded.
He returned soon with a bottle of sparkling water and a glass, with ice.
‘Thank you,’ she said smiling. ‘I honestly thought I would never see you again. But you look great. Fame obviously agrees with you. So buff…’
Her hand was tiny on his bicep, and his muscled arm was hard through the soft cotton.
‘I have to keep the ladies happy. My record label are always telling me to hit the gym and keep myself trim. It’s part of the brand. That’s the worst bit of it really – you know fitness is not my thing! But you haven’t aged a day – still one of the pertest asses I have ever seen.’
He reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.
‘I’ve really missed you, Ana,’ he said. ‘I’ve often thought you were the one who got away.’
‘So why didn’t you try to find me?’ she found herself asking.
‘Because you made it clear you didn’t want me, that I was just a bit of fun for you. I could never be the city boy you thought you wanted, I was just the rough cowboy you liked having on your arm. I was just part of your story. No one wants their heart broken twice.’
‘Well, maybe I was wrong. I was young, I felt too scared to try and break the mould. We all make mistakes,’ she said quietly. She knew what was going to happen next. There was nothing she could do. He moved towards her, took her glass and placed it on the paving stone. And then very slowly he started to kiss her. Gently rediscovering her, holding her head in his hands. She let out a gasp. Even the touch of his tongue on her lips sent shivers down her spine. She could feel herself wanting him already, needing him, so she responded to his kisses. She searched his mouth, pulled him closer, wanting him, needing him.
His hands over her breasts, over her nipples. She let out a groan as he kissed down her neck, telling her how beautiful she was, how he had always dreamed of this day, of finding her again. All the memories of when they were first together came flooding back…
She broke away.
‘There’s something I have to tell you, Joel… I’m trying to have a baby…’
His dark eyes smiled at her.
‘Me too, but you know how it happens, right? We’ll need to do more than tongues.’
She slapped him on the chest.
‘No, Joel, I’m serious,’ she said, her voice thick with emotion, her throat tight. ‘I’m trying—’
But his mouth closed over hers, muffling her words, and she lost her train of thought as the taste and strength of him flooded over her.
The next thing she knew they’d run, hot and frantic with desire into the shade of the house and through a set of glass double doors inside. They found a library with two antique armchairs and a reading lamp in the window. On the library walls were two murals she recognised by a local painter. One was a swimming pool piece she’d never seen before. In a dark area beneath a mural was a chaise longue. Joel locked the door. She could feel his touch as he unzipped her black and white dress and it fell at her feet. Dropping to his knees, he pulled her underwear down and off her feet in a single motion. Ana smiled, noting how much he’d changed. He had moves. They’d have to talk about that. He was clearly no virgin.
His tongue was soft but insistent. She lay back with her hand on his head, pressing him against her. He was multi-tasking, she noted admirably, and he wrenched at his belt, and wriggled out of his trousers, his tongue never once losing contact with her clitoris in spite of his rush. Rex could learn a lot from Joel, she thought, before she was hit by the cruelty and selfishness of her betrayal.
She moaned and shook her head.
‘You are so fucking wet,’ he whispered, and as he thrust his fingers into her she let out another guilty cry of pleasure. She knew she wouldn’t last long; she remembered his touch, and every part of her body was throbbing and longing for more.
‘I want to fuck you so much, Ana, it hurts, years of wanting you, of waiting for you,’ he continued as he kissed her belly, her breasts, her neck. The urgency of Ana’s desire was rising to meet his, her legs opening wider as she sensed the imminence of penetration.
‘Take me,’ she gasped. ‘Please, I need you, please.’ She was begging. She couldn’t help herself. She reached down and guided him deftly into her, feeling herself closing around him as she’d imagined a thousand times all those years ago and in all the years since. His penis seemed to swell inside her. Hot and hard. She locked her legs behind his back and tried to pull him even closer. He was pressing against her cervix and it was almost too much. For a second, time stopped and everything went black. Had she passed out? But as her head cleared and he was rhythmically thrusting into her, his stubble rough against her neck, his scent of wood and stone filling her nostrils, she was bitterly reminded of Rex’s frenzied humping, his soft hands and milky scent. She felt a surge of resentment that she overcame by pushing herself harder against Joel as she bit into the hard muscles of his shoulder. The pain seemed to inspire him. He throbbed again inside her. He lowered his head to suck her nipples as they fucked harder and harder.