"You're cutting it close, young lady," Dr. Kozol warned.
I nodded in agreement. I was playing with fate and I knew it.
Dr. Kozol strolled out of the room and Sophia returned to my bedside, reclaiming the chair next to me. Her fingers fidgeted with the sweater in her lap. I watched her, wondering if me being in a hospital bed brought back memories of her sick sister.
I reached out with my good hand and Sophia took it and gave it a sympathetic squeeze. Her jaw trembled.
I eyed Dad wondering when he was going to tell me the truth about the charges he pressed against Kova. I wouldn't throw Sophia under the bus for telling me, but how long was he going to torture me with his lie?
Dad's cell phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen.
"It's Xavier. I need to take this," he said, and left the room.
"You're going to listen to the doctor, right?" Sophia asked.
I shifted, trying to get comfortable. "Yes." Maybe I could sleep the pain away during my downtime, then I wouldn't have to think about anything either.
She released a sigh. "Thank God."
"Does me being in this bed remind you of Francesca?"
She nodded, her mouth flat.
"I'm sorry."
"If I could trade places with you, I would," she said, her voice tinged with sadness. Her comment moved me intensely. Joy never would have said anything like that.
"Can you do me a favor and put my hair up for me, please?" I asked. I was hot all of a sudden thinking about Joy and her lack of compassion. Sophia nodded and dug in her purse for a hair tie.
"Francesca had such thick hair like you. I used to wish I had it. She had the prettiest beach waves, while mine was bone straight."
"Thank you." I smiled at her once she was done.
The door to my room opened and Dad strode back in with his phone held out toward me. "Your brother wants to speak to you," he said. I took it as Sophia pulled my hair up into a messy bun.
Bringing the phone to my ear, I said, "Hello?"
"Well, well, well, if it isn't my sister trying to steal the spotlight," Xavier said. It felt good to hear his voice.
"Hey."
"Is it true?"
My smile faded. "Which part?"
"About you being pregnant?" Leave it to Xavier to get right to the point. I didn't answer. "I'll take your silence as a yes."
"I was." I glanced up as Sophia ushered Dad to the other side of the room, giving me a bit of privacy. "I’m not anymore."
"Listen, I know you've gone through a lot these last couple of days. I'm not going to sit here and act like I'm not pissed the fuck off at you and the situation, but I will shut my mouth and save it for when you're able to have that conversation. And, Adrianna, we will be having that conversation."
God, Xavier reminded me so much of Dad in this moment.
"Thank you." I lowered my voice to almost a whisper. "I know I'm in no position to ask for a favor, but I really need something from you."
"Yeah, shoot."
"You have to promise to do it. Say, 'Yes, Adrianna, I promise to do anything you ask,' and then I'll tell you." He repeated after me with a hint of sarcasm that made me feel good inside. "Good," I said. "Now call Avery for me and tell her where I am. I don't want her to worry. I don't have my phone but I’ll call her first thing I can, so tell her to be ready for me."
Xavier was quiet for a long drawn out moment. I felt bad asking him to do this considering their history, but I needed him to call her. "Please. I need to talk to her."
He released a deep sigh, which told me him calling her was going to take a lot out of him. "All right, but only because you're my sister and I love you."
I smiled. "Thank you. When was the last time you spoke to her?"
"Oh, months ago. Around the Fourth of July." He was quiet, but I detected the sadness in his tone.
"You're not over her, are you?"
"Avery isn't someone you can easily get over."
I smiled to myself. "Sounds like her. She's hard to forget once she puts her mark on you."
He half chuckled, half huffed. "Tell me about it."
"I better go," I said, my voice small. It was nice talking to him. "I should rest now if I plan to make a huge comeback in just a few days."
"You're crazy, you know that?"
"Yeah, well, what's life without a little madness?"
"A boring fucking life, that's for sure. Stay strong, sis. You got this."
I tried not to tear up. "Thanks, Xavier." We hung up. I sniffled then wiped my nose.
Once Dad and Sophia realized I was off the phone, they stopped talking and walked over to me. I handed his phone back to him.
"Is it okay if I rest for a little while? Alone?"
A shadow crossed Dad’s eyes. He shifted on his feet. "Yes, of course. We'll be out here whenever you wake up." He turned to Sophia. "Do you want to go get coffee?" She nodded and they turned toward the door. "I'll just be a shout away," he said right before he stepped out. I thanked him and watched as they exited the room together.
Once the door clicked shut, I waited a few minutes to see if they would return. The silence grew thicker as their footsteps finally retreated. When a fair amount of time passed, I let go and broke down.
I cried for Kova.
I cried for my aching arm and not knowing how the heck I was going to manage when it felt broken.
I cried for the baby I would never meet and the cramps that were eating me alive in its memory.
I cried for all of the hurt I’d caused Dad and for making him feel like he failed as a parent.
And lastly, I cried for my future, for what could've been, but would never be.
Seven
Dad opened the door to my condo. I held my breath as I slowly stepped inside with Sophia following behind me.
I hadn't been here in three days and I was a little afraid of what I would walk in and see. Would there be broken glass? Blood? Furniture that had been turned over?
I glanced around the space, unprepared for what I saw. My condo looked perfect. It was like World War III hadn’t happened here just days ago.
"Your dad and I came by yesterday to clean up for you," Sophia said a little hesitant.
She seemed nervous and I wished she wasn't. That desire to be a mother was evident in her eyes and by the way she spoke to me, but she held back. I had a feeling she was worried about overstepping, but, truthfully, I could use a mother right now.
Glancing over my shoulder, I looked at both of them. Sophia seemed hopeful with the way her large round eyes watched me. Dad, well, he just looked sick and torn.
"It was Sophia's idea," Dad added grimly.
"Thank you," I said, my voice quiet.
All the broken glass was gone. There was a new decorative rug on the floor, but the coffee table was missing. I vaguely remembered hearing the wood splinter when I fell on it and felt a pinch on the back of my arm from the shattered glass.
My pace was small and slow as I walked across the carpet. My stomach had been cramping and any sudden movement seemed to make it worse. I'd had some painful periods in the past, but nothing like this. I wanted to bend over and hold myself, and pray it went away soon.