‘Can’t wait.’ Ali waddle-ambled to the kettle and began making coffee. ‘Where’s lover-girl?’
‘She’s working till later but will be here for the movie, hopefully.’
‘Excellent. Who else did you invite?’
‘I invited Mini, a couple of the school gang said they’d come, plus Emma and the production lads from the My So-Called Best Life crew. It’ll be intimate but fun. Also, Nella insisted on coming so, whatever you do, do not get into a conversational hostage situation with her. She’s dying to truth-bomb you about childbirth.’
After a few rousing games of Pin the Episiotomy on the Vagina and a piñata that sprayed black confetti everywhere – Liv insisted that there was too much emphasis on the Gender Reveals and that we needed more Sociopath Reveals – everyone filled their plates at the crisp buffet and settled in to watch We Need to Talk About Kevin or, as Mini pronounced it, ‘the most accurate portrayal of the anxiety and anguish of late capitalist motherhood ever committed to celluloid’.
Ali couldn’t help but notice that Erasmus was in attendance as Mini’s plus one and was waiting for the right moment to corner him and pummel him for answers. Her phone buzzed. It was Liv texting from across the room.
Are they dating?
‘I am actually scared to contemplate it,’ Ali wrote back.
A commotion in the hall interrupted the exchange and Ali hopped up to find Amy grappling with the Sociopath Reveal Piñata, having just let herself in.
‘Hey, happy baby shower! What is all the black confetti?’ Amy was kicking her way through it.
‘Don’t ask! My baby is apparently going to be a psychopath with persistent antisocial behaviour. You got here in time. Liv thought you mightn’t make the movie.’
‘Yeah, you won’t believe it! Shelly is in labour right now!’
‘No way.’ Ali whistled. ‘That’s early, right?’
‘Just a couple of weeks but of course Dan has just boarded a plane and no one can reach him.’ Amy rolled her eyes. ‘Her mum and dad have gone in with her. TG, I was terrified she was going to hit me up for the hand-holding shit. I’ve a very weak stomach – it’d be way too much.’
‘So, where’s Georgie?’
‘Polly offered to watch her. I’ve just left them playing “salon”. Poor Polly. She’s starved for a girl baby … What?’ Amy spied Ali’s horror at this. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Polly’s got Georgie?’ Ali whimpered.
‘Yeah … ?’
‘She can’t …’ Ali scrambled for something to say that wouldn’t dob Polly in entirely ‘… She can’t be alone with her. We have to go over and help her.’
‘Do we? She’s grand, Ali. She has two kids herself. She knows what’s up.’
Ali whipped around and kicked the piñata detritus out of her way to grab her jacket.
‘Get Liv. I’ll start the car.’ She hurried out the door, leaving Amy no more time to question her.
Approaching the Devine compound, Ali had a sick feeling in her stomach. Since her outburst, Polly hadn’t been seen at a single CatAnon meeting, nor at any of the Insta-mum outings. Ali just needed to get inside the house and see that everything was OK.
‘I still don’t understand this complete overreaction,’ Amy insisted from the back seat.
‘Is it pregnancy anxiety, Ali?’ Liv implored.
‘Yeah, maybe it is. Humour me. I just want to make sure they’re all right.’ Ali didn’t want to betray Polly, not until she knew there was definitely something up anyway.
They approached the large gates and Amy keyed in the code. Ali swung into the drive and parked the car haphazardly. They hurried to the door, with Amy looking around puzzled. ‘I think her car’s gone,’ she said as she let them into the house.
Inside, all seemed quiet. Too quiet.
‘Polly? Georgie?’ Ali walked through to the kitchen extension. Georgie’s toys were scattered across the table but nothing seemed off. There was, thank God, no sign of a struggle.
‘Ali?’ Amy called from upstairs. ‘Ali? Come up. This is a bit weird.’
Up two flights of stairs, Ali arrived panting at a room full to bursting with clothes and cosmetics and a professional studio lighting rig. She recognised it as the SHELLY dressing room/office. Apart from some clothes scattered on the floor, nothing looked out of place.
Liv was marvelling, stunned at the sheer volume of brand-new products on the various shelves. ‘She only has one face, like. There aren’t enough hours in a lifetime to put all this crap on.’
‘Ha,’ Amy barked. ‘This is only the stuff in circulation. There’s more in storage and the guest room’s full to the brim with swag. But listen, this seems really off.’ She toed the clothes on the floor with her boot. ‘I am positive this is what Polly was wearing when she arrived earlier and I know for a fact this was Georgie’s #OOTD – it was a bit of sponcon.’ Amy held out her phone with the @GeorgieDevine feed displayed. There was Georgie mugging in head-to-toe floral.
Can’t wait to meet my new baby brother today! I’ll be wearing my fave new #OOTD. I love the new florals campaign by @KidsByKatlyn, they’re the perfect clothes to go see my mamma in the hospital later. #ad #spon #kidswear #coolgirls
‘So, Polly changed them both into new outfits?’ Liv was absent-mindedly running a jade roller over her face. ‘Weird.’
‘We have to find them.’ Ali tore back downstairs to the second floor on the off chance they were, in fact, doing something perfectly innocent in one of the other rooms she hadn’t checked.
I should’ve told Shelly, her thoughts raced as she ducked into each room off the landing. Fuck anonymity. What if Georgie’s in danger?
‘Ali, please calm down.’ Liv jogged down behind her. ‘You’re about to pop, don’t stress yourself into labour prematurely.’
‘Yeah.’ Amy joined them on the landing. ‘I mean, the outfit change seems weird but you never know, Georgie could’ve insisted. She’s like that. So demanding.’ Amy turned to Liv and added, ‘She’s a complete melt, to be honest. We’re never having kids.’
‘You don’t understand. I know stuff about Polly,’ Ali said quietly.
At this Amy snapped her attention back to Ali.
‘What stuff?’
‘She is @__________.’
Amy’s eyes widened.
‘What does that mean? At underscore underscore underscore?!’ Liv was confused.
‘It means Polly’s been stalking and harassing Shelly for months,’ Ali explained. ‘I only found out a few weeks ago, Amy, I swear. And I would’ve told you and Shelly, but it was at CatAnon and I felt like I couldn’t say. It’s against the rules.’
‘Oh Jaysus-fuck,’ Amy moaned. Ali had never seen her anything other than completely unruffled – this reaction was making Ali feel even worse. ‘@__________ is a fucking nutjob, Ali. If it is Polly, it means that she has broken into the house at night to mess with Shelly. God knows what she is capable of.’