The look on Kate’s face was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen, aside from those two babies. A boy and a girl. Something I’d never thought I wanted, and now I would have two. One of each. My heart had never felt so full.
After her stomach was cleaned up and covered, I couldn’t help but lean down and kiss her good and hard, the taste of salty tears filling my mouth.
“We’re having twins,” I murmured against her mouth.
She nodded, giggling—a sound I’d never heard come out of that woman before. It lit my chest on fire.
It made so much sense with how big her belly was and how sick she was. Which then brought me to concern. My mom had the girls super early because there were complications and they wouldn’t let her go full term. I hoped that wouldn’t be the case here.
Dr. Clarke met with us soon after we left that room. He was a graying man with thick-rimmed glasses and very little substance to him, but he was as kind as the ultrasound tech had been.
He checked Kate’s vitals and said the Zofran pump stayed. He wasn’t happy she had lost six pounds since her appointment the previous week. Six freaking pounds in a week. Something people struggled to do in everyday life. She couldn’t afford it. Those little babies were sucking the life from her. He finished the appointment with instructions for her to keep them updated with any signs of preterm labor, describing exactly what the sensations would be. I made a note to myself to keep an eye on her, since I had the feeling she wouldn’t be very forthcoming with any discomfort.
The whole time he talked, she just nodded along with a plastered smile. The way she avoided meeting my eyes and kept cracking her knuckles told me she wasn’t happy. I wanted to reach over and stop her, soothe her, but I couldn’t. Not now. Not when I was struggling with the reality he was laying before us.
The appointment made me both joyous and terrified. I held her hand as we walked outside. She clung to mine as if it were a lifeline. When we got to the car, I sat there gripping the wheel to keep from getting out and having another cigarette. Having only one baby to take care of had been daunting. The thought of two—two whole people who would depend on me, need me to guide them, and care for them—was almost too much.
Her warm hand covered mine on the steering wheel. My gaze met her apprehensive one. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she whispered, eyes shifting back and forth. “I was so scared for just the one, but when they told me it might be twins, I almost didn’t believe them. I’ve basically been in denial for the last few months.” She shrugged, dropping her hand.
My heart swelled past its capacity again. This woman had more strength than anyone I knew. She carried the weight of the entire damn world on her shoulders and still managed to carry twins while attending college and working a full-time job, and she expected nothing from anyone else. The fact that she had accepted that money from me only told me she’d desperately needed it after Ava moved out. Yet she still worked her ass off, kept on going, even after she found out we were having twins. I was in love with her, the mother of our children, simply because I knew not one person better than her.
“Sweetheart, that was the best damn surprise I’ve gotten in my entire life.” Her mouth twitched at that. “We’re having twins. A boy and a girl.” I shook my head, running my hands through my hair. “You gotta let me buy you a new car.”
She jerked back in her seat, a deep line forming between her brow. “I will allow you to do no such thing. My car is just fine.”
My mouth fell open before I could compose myself. There was no need for her to get mad at me for trying to help. “Your car can barely make it down the road. It took six tries to get it started this morning. We’re about to have twins. Who you’ll be driving around. In this car.”
Her eyes became thin slits, arms going over her chest, accentuating the fact that it had also gotten even larger, something I’d been trying like hell to keep from ogling. “My car will do just fine for now. I’m not getting a new one until I can afford to get myself one.”
My growl had very little heat behind it. It might not have been a battle I could win just yet, but it wouldn’t dampen the fact that we were having twins, that I was having babies with this woman. “Fine. You’re still letting me take you out tomorrow. We’re celebrating.”
Lips tugging up at the corners, she said, “Fine. But right now, you need to get me to my next class so I’m not late.”
10
Kate
He took me to class without mentioning the car situation again. I liked my car just fine. It wasn’t fancy, it had some quirks, but it got me where I needed to go… when I had the money for gas. No way would I admit that him bringing the twins into the equation made me want to jump on his offer. They deserved to be driven around in something safe and comfortable. But it would have to wait until I had a better job that could fund such things.
The way he’d taken the surprise of twins was just another tribute to how amazing he was. He wasn’t even a little mad that I’d kept something so monumental from him. Finally having the weight of that secret off my shoulders was a relief. I already kept so much from him, but this secret had made me constantly sick of the lies, the deceit, the whole of my life. He deserved better.
That one thing had been revealed to him, but the rest would have to stay hidden. I myself was still reeling with the notion of twins. A boy and a girl. The reality that taking care of two children mostly on my own while I attempted to finish school was something I had yet to evaluate… and would probably wait until the very last minute to do so.
When I got to class, I did my best to pay attention and was relieved when we were released to our work. It kept my mind off other things, such as my family, my living situation, the man I was bound to fall in love with.
While I was working on my laptop, a text came through on my screen.
Kai: I’m bored.
I rolled my eyes. What did he think it was going to be like coming to Tennessee? He must have expected me to chaperone him around the city and show him all the cool things. The reality was, if he was sticking around here during the next month, he was going to be very, very bored. My schedule was jam-packed. There wasn’t much room for going out, for having fun. Not anymore. I worked almost every day and had classes when I wasn’t working. Also, sleep had become essential to my existence.
Me: How sad. Maybe Ava wants to hang out?
Kai: Tried that. She’s busy. She screamed when I told her about the twins btw. We’re all coming to eat in your section tonight to bug you.
Me: Great.
Kai: I know you’re excited. You’re just good at hiding it. Also, my parents want to come this way and celebrate. Mom can’t believe you’re having twins.
Me: Great.
The news made my stomach hurt. My own parents probably would have loved the idea of it. Twins, another new thing to flaunt around their country clubs. I could just imagine the poor babies in matching clothes, being carted around by my mother, my dad making witty banter with his chums about the spectacle of it.
I squeezed my eyes shut, shoving all thoughts of them from my mind. Thinking about them was off-limits. But with the mood swings and the hormonal upheaval, I often couldn’t avoid it. Especially since in any normal life, it would have been something to share with my family, not hide from them like I was forced to.