My smile must have seemed like an invite to her, because she jumped from Loco's lap and rushed toward me. There was a joyful gleam in her eyes as they shot back and forth from me to Ava.
"God, she's so cute!" As soon as she was close enough she reached for my daughter's little hand. Ava giggled, her expression revealing her trust of Lulu. "Can I have her?"
I laughed. "You can borrow her," I countered. "But she'll want to eat soon."
Ava went willingly to her. "I can feed her," Lulu insisted. "Is there a bottle in the fridge?"
I nodded. "She'll also get a little cereal with applesauce mixed into it."
"I think we can handle that. Can't we, baby?" She kissed Ava on the cheek and turned to head to the kitchen.
I watched for a minute, smiling, before I noticed the looks of disgust on some of the wives’ faces who had witnessed the exchange. They obviously didn't know Lulu, but they knew what she was, and it was clear that they disagreed with my decision to let a club girl handle my daughter. Kathy was sitting with them, a look of regret on her face. Did she feel the same way? The smile she offered me said that she didn't. I walked over to the table, not knowing what I was going to say until I opened my mouth and the words poured out.
"I can see by some of your expressions that you think it's a bad idea to let Lulu take Ava, but let me tell you something--Lulu is the sweetest, most caring and loving person in this whole clubhouse. She'd do anything for any one of you, and she’d do it with a smile on her face. I trust her with my daughter." I purposely kept my tone calm and friendly. "She may be here for the unmarried men, but you should get to know her before passing judgment."
One of them, an older woman, scoffed. "We know why those sluts are here, and apparently it doesn't matter if the men are married or not." She nodded over my shoulder.
I followed the direction of her gaze and saw Goldie sitting on the lap of one of the brothers that I didn't know. Even from where I was I could see the gold band on his finger. I looked back at the woman. "That's not Lulu, and it takes two to tango."
Kathy burst out with laughter, getting a shocked look from the women. "What? She's right, Aggie. You should look at what's right in front of your eyes. And you know that Kramer is a no good cheat, and has been for years. Why you put up with it is anyone's guess, but that woman isn't forcing him to let her sit on his lap."
Aggie pressed her lips and remained silent, but her eyes told a different story. Inside she was fuming. There was something else there, too, and I recognized it for what it was--pain. When I glanced back at Goldie and Kramer, it became clear to me where that pain was coming from. Holy shit! Was Kramer Aggie's husband? I met Kathy's eyes, and she confirmed my silent question with a subtle nod. I instantly felt sorry for Aggie. Why would any woman put up with a cheating husband?
I was really beginning to dislike Goldie.
"Holly!”
The sound of my name drew my eyes to the bar. Bobbie and Raven were there with Cole and Demon, along with Sax. I hesitated only briefly before making my way there, a forced smile on my face. Sax had his back to me, and the minute I let my presence be known he twirled on his stool, got up, and left. Both women stared after him with slight surprise.
I tried to make light of it. "Must be something I said."
Demon snorted. "More like something you did, sweetheart."
My smile vanished. Sax hadn't wasted any time in telling his brothers what I'd done. It was difficult meeting the coldness in Demon's eyes. The same disapproval was in Cole's hard glare.
"I'm sorrier than you know, because my selfish mistake cost me the love of my life, but I'm not sorry that I have Ava. I'll understand if you want me to leave."
Demon made a sound between impatience and a growl. "Hell, don't want you to leave, Holly, you and Ava are family. Just fucking disappointed in you, that's all."
I nodded, accepting Demon's words.
"Glad you told him the truth about why you left," Cole added. "Now he can stop beating himself up thinking that it was something he did."
Sax had been blaming himself?
"Drink, Holly?"
"No thanks, Spider."
"Not everyone knows."
I looked at Demon, waiting for an explanation.
"Says this is between you and him, and he doesn't want his brothers treating you different. Not that they would. Fuck, we all make mistakes. But he's still protecting you, girl."
"Maybe if he finds out that Ava's his, shit will be different." Cole gave me a wink.
I doubted that, but forced a small smile for his benefit.
"Are you going to help out in the kitchen, honey?"
I breathed a sigh of relief when Raven changed the subject. "Yeah. That's my intention."
"Then let's go so we can feed these men and get these kids off to bed." Bobbie jumped off her stool and Raven followed, and the three of us walked to the kitchen.
As we stepped into the kitchen, Raven and Bobbie walked to the fridge and began pulling food out, but I came to an abrupt stop, my eyes transfixed on Lulu and Sax. They had their heads tilted together and seemed to be talking as Lulu fed Ava in her highchair. Sax watched Ava closely as she eagerly opened her little mouth every time Lulu got close with the spoon. My heart skipped a beat when he picked up the cloth on the highchair and wiped it gently across her cherub mouth. Then something Lulu said caused them both to laugh.
The sexy smile on his rugged features warmed my heart and made me realize how much I'd missed that smile, especially when it was directed at me. I wondered what Lulu had said to bring it out, but it didn't last long.
Lulu finished up with Ava, removing the food-stained bib and pulling the tray back to lift Ava from the seat. She and Sax both turned to leave, and that's when they realized that I was in the room.
"There's mommy," Lulu gushed when they got closer to me.
Sax's stony expression was closed off, but he couldn't hide from his hard eyes the painful truth that I’d hurt him. I wanted to ask what they'd been laughing about, but knew that it wasn't any of my business.
I reached for Ava's outstretched hand and brought it to my lips. "Do you want me to take her now?" I slathered kisses all over her palm until she began to squeal, which then caused me to giggle. I'd noticed she'd been drooling more lately, and suspected that she was going to be teething soon. "Mommy loves you, baby girl!" I pretended to nibble on her fingers.
"No!" Lulu shook her head vigorously. "I still want to give her a bottle." She held the one up in her hand that I hadn't noticed before. "We're good."
My eyes darted briefly to Sax, and then back to her. "I'm going to help get dinner ready then."
As they continued out of the room it struck me how much they looked just like a happy little family. I ignored the pang in my heart and joined Raven and Bobbie at the counter. There was a ton of vegetables in front of them. They both looked up when I joined them, a look in their eyes that said that they knew what I was feeling. "So it looks like we're having veggies for dinner?"
"We're making a humongous salad," Bobbie explained. "To go with the spaghetti."