“Honey, I’m so glad you were able to come back. I know I told you already, but I sure did miss you.”
I swept across the hall and wrapped my arms around the spindly older woman. “I missed you, too.” In my heart, I could feel my tita smiling down on me, and it filled me with joy.
I returned to my apartment with a renewed sense of optimism, but my smile faltered when the implication of Grace’s original comment hit me. I see Mr. Handsome is back. I didn’t recall Tamir coming to my apartment before. Then it hit me. The attractive man she saw at my place the afternoon I was attacked. I had assumed it was my attacker looking for me, but of course, it hadn’t been. Asaf had never truly been after me, so he would have had no reason to be at my apartment. It had been Tamir all along.
I shook my head and got out my phone.
Me: Exactly how many times did you break into my apartment before last night?
Tamir: Just once.
Me: My elderly neighbor caught you. You’re not as stealthy as you think. I bit my lip to keep a stupid grin from spreading across my face.
Tamir: Maybe next time I’ll come by in the middle of the night, and you won’t know I’m there until I’m inside you. Then we’ll see how stealthy I can be.
Sweet baby Jesus. My head spun as hormones overloaded my system.
Me: Promise?
No, I was supposed to be taking a break from him and making a decision. But man, was it tempting.
Me: Touché.
It wasn’t nearly as fun, but it was the responsible way to respond. Acting like an adult sure did suck sometimes.
***
My post-Tamir high quickly evaporated when I went back to daily life without the prospect of seeing him again anytime soon. I checked in with him via text each evening, and it was, by far, the highlight of my days.
The young girl never showed up at the shelter, and the police were unable to trace her whereabouts. It felt like a grave injustice to go on with my life as if she’d never existed. I felt helpless, and I hated that feeling.
I wrestled with my emotions each day, especially under the cover of darkness when I lay in bed alone at night. My tita would have wanted me to be happy, but she also would have wanted me to lead a life free of crime. Would she have seen Tamir’s brand of justice as a good thing or a part of the problem?
There was no way to know. Plus, I had to accept that it didn’t matter what Tita would think. This was my life, and I had to do what was best for me. My life had never been ordinary, and I was starting to believe ordinary was never in my stars.
The straw that finally tipped the scales was a simple encounter at an average coffee shop. I was pouring cream in my cup next to a man who spilled a portion of his coffee onto the table, burning the back of his hand. I quickly handed him napkins and helped clean up the spill.
“Thanks, I’m going to have to be more careful.”
“Not a problem. How’s your hand?”
“I don’t think they’ll have to amputate,” he teased. “My name is Kyle.” He held out his uninjured hand for me to shake.
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Emily.”
“You have a minute to sit?” he asked, with a hint of awkwardness that often comes with putting yourself on the line.
I wasn’t in a rush, and I told myself this was exactly the type of guy I needed to give a chance. “Sure.” I nodded and followed him to a table.
We sat and talked for thirty minutes. I learned about his dentistry practice and told him about the restaurant I managed. He was undeniably attractive, with an easy grin and dimples that would have melted the iciest heart. He was stable and friendly and everything I should have wanted. Still, there was absolutely zero spark—that intangible chemistry between two people that made your heart race and your thoughts get sucked into that person’s orbit until you could think of nothing but them.
Instead, all I could think about was how this ordinary man could never measure up to Tamir.
Tam was bolder than life itself. No dentist or salesperson or architect could ever compare to a man who tested the limits of life. No man could compare, and I was an idiot for even entertaining an alternative.
I didn’t just love Tamir in spite of his job; I loved him because of it. I loved him because he ravaged an army to bring justice to his sister’s death. I loved him because he was the type of man who had lifelong friendships and the kind of heart that would go cross-country to help a woman in trouble. He would argue his actions were much more selfishly motivated, but I didn’t believe it. He was genuinely a good person, looking to make the world a better place, and I wanted to be a part of that. I wanted to be a part of him.
The certainty of my revelation hit me with the force of a semi-truck, right there in front of Keith, or Kenny, or Kyle—whatever his name was. Once I gave in to my feelings and admitted there was only one man for me, I felt like everything else clicked into place, like a Rubik’s Cube that couldn’t be mastered until I’d completed the precise number of rotations.
I put a quick end to the coffee date, wishing I could go straight to Tamir and give him my answer, but I was due at work in a half hour. I walked with renewed vigor to the restaurant and worked my shift with so much enthusiasm that even Gordon Ramsay would have approved.
I’d only been working there for just over a week, so one of the owners was still present at closing to make sure the place was locked up and ready for the next day. The second I was given the okay to leave, I hurried straight to Tamir’s apartment.
His building didn’t have a code to get in, so I was able to go straight to his door. It was late, but I didn’t care. I had to put an end to the floundering uncertainty. It would have been prudent to text him that I was coming, but I’d been too preoccupied in my haste to think of it until I was staring at the peephole of his dark green door.
Wisps of my hair flew in all directions, and my skin was dewy with sweat from my jog over, but none of that mattered. The only thing I cared about was my resounding certainty that Tamir was the only man for me.
I lifted my fist and knocked on the door, butterflies wreaking havoc on my insides. I only had to wait a single, breathless minute before the door swung wide, and Tamir’s guarded expression greeted me on the other side.
“Emily, is everything okay?” His eyes darted down the hallway behind me as he pulled me inside his apartment.
“Everything’s fine—more than fine. It hit me today that I need to listen to my heart. Even though what you do scares me, I can’t imagine ever being with someone else. You’re it for me, Tamir. I love you, and every day without you was more painful than the day before. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out, and I hope that doesn’t make you question the depth of my feelings, because I love you so much it hurts.”
Tamir put an end to my rambling when he pulled me into his chest in a crushing hug, one of his hands cradling my head over his heart. “Shhhh, you have no reason to worry about me. I’ve understood from the beginning that you were in a traumatic situation. I would never have pressured you to make life decisions while you were still processing everything that had happened. I felt bad for pushing you when I came to your apartment, but I’d been weak. Desperate to see you. To touch you.”
I pulled back and peered up at him through watery eyes. “I’m glad you did. I think our paths were meant to cross. Denying that felt painful and unnatural, which was all too obvious after being with you again. You’re it for me, Tamir—” I stopped suddenly, and my eyes widened. “I don’t know your last name,” I breathed. “How the hell did I lived with you for almost three weeks, fall in love with you, and allow you to kill me without ever knowing your last name?”