“I don’t fuckin’ know. You screw with my head, Dez. Every time I think I can look away, I’m pulled back in. Every time I think I know who you are and what you do, you throw me off. I don’t fuckin’ know what this is,” I admit. Her eyes are sad once again but I’m being honest. I have to be.
“You can’t save me, Gauge. No one can,” she says softly before pulling away from me. She starts to move past me when I grab her upper arm and jerk her back in front of me. Her eyes dance between mine, not sure what to say or how to respond. Hell, that makes two of us.
“What if I wanna get lost with you, not save you?” Dez sucks her lips between her teeth trying to not let the tears fall down her face.
She reaches up, her fingers running down my cheek when she says, “I wouldn’t let you. I saw that spark in your eyes, I still see it. This club is your place, just like you said. I’m just a blip on the radar that will eventually fade.”
When she walks away this time, I don’t go after her. I don’t know that I can. This girl is more lost than I thought she was.
Ten
Dezzy
That kiss. Those lips. His words. My chest is tight and my body on fire. I had to get out of there. I couldn’t look at him, listen to him another second. It was all too much. I get that he’s my dad’s VP. I get that he feels the need to help me because of that, but I’m not a charity case.
“What’s wrong?” Angel asks when she spots me.
“Nothing. What are we doing?” I try to sound happy but all I feel is confused.
“Well, Shaft and OB are over there seeing who can get the most numbers. I feel like we stepped back into the nineties,” she giggles as I follow her gaze. Sure enough, they are over there trying.
“I can’t believe they are really doing it. It was a joke,” I tell her when Gauge saunters over that way. My eyes track his movements, the way his whole presence demands attention. The man screams authority to anyone around him.
“God, that man is pure perfection in one muscled up package,” Angel sighs next to me.
“He’s pretty hot,” I add.
“Pretty hot? That man is a fucking God.” I laugh along with her as we watch Gauge talking to the girls in front of him. Shaft throws his hands in the air and walks away but OB just laughs.
“Wonder what he said,” Angel questions as we stand and watch the show. “What was the bet?” she asks looking over at me.
“OB said he could still get the young girls. I bet Gauge that he could, too.”
“Oh shit! You bet with Gauge? Oh girl, he never loses, and when he wins, you better pay up,” she laughs. “What was the wager?”
“Nothing important.” She doesn’t question me further, and when OB walks away from the crowd, I’m shocked. He looks like a man defeated which almost makes me laugh until I drag my eyes back to Gauge. That doesn’t sit well with me. That means Gauge won.
“He walked?” Angel gasps. Gauge turns around, a smirk on his face and hot girl under his arm as he walks toward us. Angel grins when he stands there looking between the two of us before letting his eyes linger on mine.
“That little black bag is mine,” he nearly growls. I shake my head and take a step back when he releases the hold on the other girl. He stalks forward and I can faintly hear Angel whisper the word “shit”. I can see why too. Gauge’s eyes are on fire.
“We had a deal. You’re the club princess, you know how things work. A deal is a deal.”
“And if I don’t follow through?” I smart off.
“You will regret it,” he seethes through his clenched jaw. I want to push him further just to see what he would do, but that look in his eyes, that blaze tells me not to.
“Hey, headin’ to the yacht!” Shaft calls out breaking our moment of intensity. Gauge looks at me hard for another long minute before turning and grabbing the girl and walking away. Angel slowly walks closer, her eyes wide.
“What the hell happened? I’ve never seen him that pissy with a girl before,” she says grabbing my arm and leading me to the chairs to grab our things.
“He’s been like that since the day I met him. It’s not his normal?” I ask amused. Angel giggles and picks up her bag.
“Hell no. He’s usually rough and broody but that?” she says pointing at where he stood. “That is new. You must bring that out in him.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty good at bringing out the worst in people.” I grab my towel and roll it up, stuffing it in my bag before sliding my feet into my sandals. Angel and I head toward the gate when I see my dad talking to OB. He’s made himself plenty scarce all day, which doesn’t surprise me. When we are close enough for him to see us, he looks over and smiles slightly before he notices Angel.
“Club whores don’t belong on family outtin’s! You know this!” he snaps moving toward her. I step in front of her, cutting them off.
“I invited her,” I say keeping my head held high.
“You did what? You know better, Dez! You lived here long enough before!” He goes to say more but I cut him off.
“Yeah, I know, but you want to know what else I know? I know that girls just like her are what you liked to sink your cock in instead of my mom!” Where the hell did that come from? I’d never dreamt in my life of talking to my dad that way. The anger, the power he holds within him slams into me. He steps toward me menacingly when OB, Remy, and Gats step up.
“Hey, Prez. Let’s calm down,” OB says trying to pull his infuriated gaze from mine. I feel like a kid about to be scolded as I stand here under his scrutinizing gaze.
“You don’t know shit about anything! You saw what your momma wanted you to see, Dezzy!”
“No, I saw what you showed me. I still see it, Dad. You never wanted me. You never wanted me around, and even now after you came to get me, you still hide. You stay as far away from me as possible,” I snap, nearly breaking into tears again. This conversation has been a long time coming. We’ve never really talked about any of this stuff but I know it needed to be done. Gauge walks up and stands next to Remy, sending his little girlfriend on her way. We have an audience of my dad’s men, none looking at me as if I’m right. No, they are loyal to their president.
“I’m a goddamn Soulless Bastard! I don’t hide from anyone!” he roars. One of the prospects grabs Angel and pulls her toward a bike. I don’t argue because frankly there is no point.
“Prez, let’s go find some beers, yeah?” Remy says pulling his gaze from me to him. OB steps up saying that’s a great idea, and in the matter of seconds, this conversation is over. I lower my head, covering my face with my hands as I listen to the sounds of bikes firing up and pulling out.
“If it means anything, I’m proud of you.”
Why the hell is he still here?
“Doesn’t matter what you think.”
“Come on, Dez. I bet you never stood up to him in your life,” Gauge says in a serious tone.
I slowly lift my head and look up at him. His big blue eyes saying that he’s proud of me. How can that be?
“He’s your prez. Don’t you need to run along behind him?” A half smirk crosses his face when he turns to look over at the marina.