Barely holding myself up, I lean on people as I push through the crowd with only one thing on my mind.
Tables and booths fill in the rest of the space around the dance area, and a large bar runs the entire length of the back wall.
My head is foggy and heavy, only coherent enough to think of one thing—my next drink. I should’ve been cut off a long time ago, but who cares?
As I wait for the bartender to notice me, a big burly guy squeezes his way in next to me and orders a drink.
Drunk me should’ve stayed home.
“What in the fuck? I’ve been waiting for a drink for five minutes now.”
“Sorry, dude,” he mumbles, obviously not giving a shit.
Without a second thought and no damn good reason, I slam my fist into the side of his face, the sound of his jaw cracking satisfying in some sick way. After that, time seems to slow down and speed up, each event happening fast and slow at the same time.
The big guy slams his hand on the bar, and roars back, “What the fuck?”
And then he’s on me, tossing me to the ground as we each deliver punch after punch. The music stops, and people scream around us, but I only see one thing. Fucking up this asshole’s face.
I side swipe his face, unleashing all of my fury in one punch.
He’s thrown back but not before he slams my head to the ground.
Everything goes dark.
“He’s obviously hurting. Let me talk to him before we make any decisions.”
A familiar voice talks in the background, and I try to open my eyes, but they’re swollen shut and only the right one cracks open. Every inch of me hurts, especially my head.
Where am I? And what in the fuck happened?
“I don’t know anymore, Drew. He can’t keep acting this way and expect no consequences. I get he’s hurting now, but he had a history of this shit before the breakup. He can’t let it control his life any longer. He needs help.” Brandon’s voice floats across the room, and I try to spot them.
My one eye can barely see, only making out two blurred figures in the corner.
He needs help? Who?
I try to sit up, but my head feels like it’ll split in half. Glancing down at myself, I see tubes coming from my wrist, a hospital gown, my body underneath lots of bedding. Why in the fuck am I here?
“Whoa, slow down, Lev.” Drew’s face is clearer now. “No need to get up, just rest.”
Brandon’s on the other side, farther back, assessing me with his beady eyes. Something happened, and based on his evil glare, he’s obviously not happy.
“What happened?” The words come out strangled, my mouth dry. I try to lick my lips, but it’s no use. Drew comes to the rescue, offering me a straw. I drink it down, the ice-cold water instantly cooling my burning throat.
I try to think about the past couple of days, but it’s blank.
Nothing.
My mind circles back to one thing.
Raina.
Her face pops into view like a knife to the heart.
And suddenly, everything comes crashing back.
The drinking, the fight, flashes of consciousness as I was rushed to the hospital.
Fuck!
“Shit,” I mutter and shake my head, the movement causing more pain to slice through my head.
Drew blows out a breath. “Yeah. Hey, Brandon, give us a sec here, okay?”
“I’m actually going to head out. I stopped by to see how you were doing, Levi. It’s unfortunate what happened. After you’ve healed, we need to talk. Rest up.” Brandon gives us both a nod, then leaves.
I’m surprised he even came. He’s not one to care much about people unless they’re making him money. And right now, I’m only creating trouble, not cash.
I take the cup from Drew and suck more water down, not really in the mood to talk. Who would be?
“I don’t want to stress you out with bullshit right now. We can save all that for later. When we figure out a way to save your ass.”
I look away. He doesn’t need to tell me I probably just fucked everything up for myself. I already know. I could see the look on Brandon’s face.
I should care, and I should react, but right now, I’m numb.
Broken.
Spent.
Seeing Raina’s heart break at my words and her gasps for breath, I’ll never forget the pain on her face.
I was so mad, so fucking mad, and I wanted to hurt her. Needed to.
But now, I’ve only broken us more, completely destroying my heart.
“Maybe I don’t want to be saved.”
“What?” Drew sputters.
“You heard me.”
“Are we really going to do this right now? No, we aren’t. And you do want it, Levi. Don’t fucking tell me you don’t.”
“You don’t know what I want.”
More hateful words. Where they come from, I don’t know.
“Alright, man, I was planning on visiting for a bit, but seeing as your attitude is complete shit, I’m leaving.”
He turns to go but stops before he gets to the door. “Just for the record,” Drew says as he looks back at me, “I was the one here with you all night while you were unconscious, and they weren’t sure if you’d slipped into a coma or not. I was the one here when they thought you might need surgery because of internal bleeding, or that the egg on your head might’ve caused a concussion. No one else. So remember that when you push me away.”
Drew slams the door shut, and I hurl my cup of water at the door, the ice and straw skidding across the floor.
Everything is so fucked.
Chapter Five
Raina
Every minute hurts. Every moment, every passing second, every breath I take. It all hurts.
“I don’t fucking love you anymore.”
“You ruined my life.”
“I don’t ever want to see you again.”
His words haunt me, breaking my heart over and over again.
How many times can one heart break? Will it ever stop?
For the past two nights, I’ve barely slept, and with classes starting tomorrow, I need to pull myself together.
I just don’t know how.
Pulling Mable’s pink baseball cap down more, I hurry into the campus bookstore. My face is swollen and splotchy, but I’ve put off leaving the apartment long enough. Classes start whether I’m ready or not.
I make it through the store undetected, grabbing what I need and hightailing it out of there. All I want to do is go back home, but I promised Mable I’d meet her at Café Amore.
As much as I still love the place, it’s filled with memories my heart can’t take. I decided to avoid it, but Mable convinced me otherwise.
She’s right. It’s where I write and spend time destressing. Why should I give it up?
So even though I doubt it’ll go smooth, I said yes in hopes it’ll make me feel better in some way.
The late afternoon sun beats down on my neck, the hat making me warmer than usual. Sweat trickles down, and my hair feels warm and sticky. I can’t wait for the cooler temperatures because this heat is unbearable.
Once I make it to the café, I linger outside for a minute, taking in the busy street around me. Everything is the same as the day I left. With a deep breath, I push forward, the delicious scents instantly making my mouth water.