She shrugs. "Maybe you need one. It's on the house."
I must look a lot worse than I thought if someone as frightening as K.T. is actually being gentle with me. This is what happens when I take too long to eat, I guess.
She eyes me skeptically when I don't immediately start drinking. "You don't want to talk about it do you?" Her mouth curls up in obvious distaste for the very idea of me trying to confide in her.
A small laugh pops out from between my lips. "Don't worry, I won't inflict my tragic story on you today."
Her shoulders sink in relief at my words, and that's enough to make me laugh again. "Look K.T., I appreciate the offer but I don't really have any female friends. I'm probably not going to start right now, when I'm still basking in the aftermath of my most recent humiliation." I shrug a little, squirming under her gaze, then drop my eyes to the counter.
"I really should take this to go. I suddenly don't feel like eating at all." I sigh and put and my hands in my lap. I wish I could somehow disappear, but it doesn't seem likely to happen at this point.
"Not happening." K.T. has her arms folded and is giving me one of her glares. "Literally everyone in Indiana heard your stomach growling and it's past two in the afternoon. You're going to sit there and eat or I'll call someone to come down here and physically sit on you until you eat your lunch."
My lips curl up in a snarl. See? Now I'm hangry and far too recently mansplained, and that's a bad combination for anyone, but most particularly the recently self-empowered me. "You wouldn't."
K.T. tilts her head to one side, eyeing me like she's measuring me for a coffin.
"Feeling lucky, punk?" Her lips pinch off to one side, in what I can only assume is a terrible impression of Dirty Harry. Wow.
I shake my head. "I'm certainly not going to eat with you staring at me. Now quit it."
She huffs and shakes her head, her pretty ponytail bobbing. "That's it. I'm going to phone a friend. You sit there and think about your choices while I'm gone." She points her finger at the front door. "And don't even think about making a break for it. There's a bell over the front door, and I will hurt you if you just up and take off."
I can't tell if she's kidding. Remember that whole poisonous dart frog thing? Upon closer examination, I think she's more like a viper of some sort. She's fast and vicious, and if I don't do things her way, I suspect she might actually strike.
I can hear her voice rising and falling in the office, but before I can think too hard about who on earth she's calling and what she might be telling them, she struts back down the hallway with a very satisfied looking smile on her face.
"K.T., if you freaking called that waste of air Daniels, I swear I'm leaving and never coming back." I can feel my stupid face heating up again at the thought, but it's not embarrassment this time. It's anger. And I'm sure it probably looks the same to an outsider, but it's definitely different to me, the person who's feeling it.
But she's already shaking her head, thank heaven. "Come on, girl. I wouldn't treat you like that." She waves her hand at the beer. "All I have to offer is some beer and bad advice, but I've called for reinforcements. One of my female friends who is definitely good at relationships and men and all of those things." K.T. sniffs a little when she says it, but she's also got a very small, very happy smile on her face. “I’ve got the best female friend in the world for you. Everybody needs a girl club.”
Seriously though, all I want to do is eat my lunch alone. Well, I'd rather not be alone, but since my meathead brother already bailed on me, I think that's as good as it's going to get today.
What a weird ass day this has turned out to be anyway. First, I got to see Ken Daniels, my first crush. In fact, I got to see a lot of him, including each and every ripple in his perfectly formed abs. But then it turns out he didn't recognize me. Because of course he didn't.
And then instead of having quality time with my favorite brother, I got hustled off the photo shoot like it was a crime scene. And then, I show up ready to throw down with Brother Dearest and instead end up begging stupid Ken Daniels to kiss me. And finally, he ruins everything by opening up his big stupid mouth and trying to explain how he's going to dip out now that he's satisfied his curiosity about how a chubby girl like me kisses.
Asshole.
I'm pulled out of the swirl of my feelings by the noise of the bell above the door at Riddles. And in comes Darcy, looking every bit as happy and beautiful as she did when I saw her at the shoot. Right before the man of her dreams proposed to her.
"K.T., what the heck kind of emergency are you having? I can see that nothing's on fire here, so I guess I'm glad I didn't bring the truck or any of the other guys." She squints at K.T., and then her eyes slide over to me and her entire face lights up. "Oh, Lily. I'm so glad you're here."
And here's the thing. Darcy is the most plain-spoken person I know. So that means she is actually glad that I'm here and not saying it out of some weird politeness or something. I really do want to hate her, or at least envy her until I'm sick, but it's not going to turn out that way.
K.T. points to the seat beside me. "Sit down and eat some of Lily's fries. I think I made her too many. First, I want to hear all about your big news and then we're going to solve all of Lily's problems and inflict our friendship on her."
Darcy looks at me, her pretty pink lips parted on a gasp. "What's the matter? You did an amazing job at the shoot today, especially the pictures you took of our proposal. I know Aunt Opal was teasing you about setting you up with one of the firefighters, but that's just how she is. I promise, I won't let her anywhere near your love life." She lifts her index finger and makes a little crossing motion over her chest.
K.T. rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you're way too late with that. Lily's already got her love life mapped out so we don't need Aunt Opal trying to matchmake for her."
And at that, my cheeks heat uncomfortably for the eight millionth time today. "K.T.," I hiss at her. "you're not being nice at all."
At that, the fierce bartender laughs so hard that I'm pretty sure she's about to crack a rib. "Damn right I'm not nice. Nice is nothing more than another word for fake. And I'm never going to be that way, no matter how much I like you." She shrugs and then moves over to the jukebox and pushes a few buttons. Soon enough, the heavy chords of some metal song are ringing through the bar.
Darcy squeezes my forearm and offers me a smile. She's probably used to the way that K.T. acts, even though I find her more than a little bit intimidating. Plus, there's the issue of her very specific musical tastes. I can't get past the fast, heavy guitar licks to even try to figure out what words are being screeched out.
But even as I'm trying to make peace with the heavy metal that's filling up the bar, Darcy reaches over to my plate and helps herself to a handful of fries. Like it's no big deal.
Huh. Well, it maybe isn't to her. Is this a thing that female friends do? I force my mouth into a semblance of a smile, but it's probably more grimace than anything at this point.