I can't wait to kiss her again. I know, I know. Elliott's going to kill me and she was looking a little bit murder-y herself too by the time I finally took a hint and escaped from Riddles, but I can work with this.
Because I was definitely telling her the truth about being unable to resist another taste of her. Now all I have to do is figure out how to convince her that kissing me isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's an amazingly good thing and we should do it all the time over and over again. Maybe with our clothes off in my bed.
First of all, I've got to figure out what to do in order to get her attention in a good way. Ordinarily, I'd call Elliott and ask his advice because he's better at the relationship type stuff than I am. I mean, basically everyone I know is better at relationships than me, but I trust him to give me good advice and not try to mess up my game.
Unfortunately, since I'm trying my very best to bang his extremely off limits little sister, I don't get to call him for an assist. I briefly consider calling Abernathy, but he's probably boning the hell out of his new fiancée right now and I'm not one to interrupt that. I mean, not unless it's funny or otherwise beneficial to me. And I can't think of a way that it is right now, so I'd better save that up later.
That leaves Aaron. He’s a good guy, so maybe he can sort this out. I’m about five minutes away from asking a random stranger, so he’s got to be better than some random guy, right?
Anyway, my gut is screaming at me to fix this thing with Lily immediately so that I can kiss her. Or at least reassure myself that she likes me enough to kiss me again. Preferably without her clothes on, but you know. I'll take what I can get.
I call him and he picks up right away. "What's the matter, Daniels?"
I pull the phone away from my face and stare at it. Then I lift it back to my face and say, "What happened to saying hello like. normal person?"
I can practically hear him shrugging. "You never call me unless it's an emergency. So, what's the emergency, Daniels? Do I need bail money for this?"
"No, Aaron. You don't need freaking bail money. I'm not that kind of guy."
He snorts. "Sure. If you're not in trouble, then tell me why you called."
The pause that follows is practically a confession. Maybe I do only call him when I need his help. I can't change the general level of my neediness, but after this I’m going to work on being a less crappy friend for sure. "I need some advice about a girl."
He laughs at me, that jerk. "Yeah right. Go ahead and say it. You know I'm down for helping you with whatever. You don't have to make up some pretend girl problems to get me to hang out with you."
I sigh. "I'm coming over."
He pauses. "No. No, you're not."
But I'm already halfway out the door with my keys in hand. Everything inside me is telling me to get some expert advice and then sort things out with Lily immediately, or else I'm likely to lose my chance to do it altogether.
"Yeah actually, I am. So, you'd better clean up because we need to have a man-to-man talk."
Aaron squeaks. Actually squeaks, or maybe he stepped on something? "I'll meet you wherever. But you're not coming over here."
I pause. "What's the matter Brosephine? I'd invite you over, but you know me. I don't have any furniture and then you'd end up sitting on my bed with me. Next thing you know, we'd make out again—"
"Daniels, shut it. We're not doing this and I'm sure as shit not going to invite you over here to sit on my couch and then eat all my snacks." He covers up the phone and I hear his voice murmuring something.
"Um, who are you talking to over there?"
He coughs. Busted. "Yeah, no. Nobody. I’m definitely not talking to anybody over here at my place where absolutely nobody is except me."
There's some background noise and a laugh that is definitely female. Whoa.
"Aaron, my dearest bro-seph, am I unintentionally cockblocking you? If so, please accept my very sincere apologies, because you know I wouldn't do you that way. That's the main reason I called you instead of one of my other friends. I figured that given your current feelings about women, you were at really low risk for getting any."
He sighs. "Yeah, apparently you're right, dipshit. I'm at extremely low risk for getting any now that you've called and messed the entire thing up for me.”
I shake my head, even though he can't see me. "No man. You should have said something. I would have gotten off the phone."
He sighs again, sounding every bit the weary, hard-working man that I like to pick on. He needs to lighten up and find a pretty girl to chase around. "What exactly was I supposed to tell you, Daniels? Hey, shush your face up because you're ruining my chances with the most beautiful girl in town?"
I scoff. "That's not possible. I made the most beautiful girl in town angry today when I kissed her. And then somehow when I told her to eat something, it made her even angrier. Like it was my fault that she was hangry."
Aaron whistles, low and almost impressed sounding. "Did she punch you in the dick right away, or did she slap you first?"
"My dude, what are you even talking about? I was trying to be the good guy in this scenario by encouraging her to take care of her basic needs like food before we got down to taking care of my basic needs. Specifically boning."
Aaron lets out a series of words that is probably profanity, but it's in some language I don't know. He keeps going and going with this, and it’s more than irritating. "Do you kiss your mama with a mouth like that?"
He pauses long enough that I briefly think he's hung up on me. "You'd probably better come over here. This is definitely a conversation we need to have in person so you never, ever say anything that stupid to any other human being in your entire life." He pauses again. "Bring over some beer. My guest took hers with her when she left."
"Hey, sorry about that." I am too. I really wouldn't have called him if I thought he was seeing someone. Speaking of which, I wonder which of the ladies of Valentine he's currently trying to put his moves on.
"Yeah, yeah. It was a mistake anyway. Probably. Just bring the beer and we'll call it even."
He sounds pretty unhappy about it for someone who claims to have been probably making a mistake, but even I know it's not the time to have that discussion with him.
"Okay, I'll be there in ten. I'll call when I get there so I don't knock too loud and wake up your spawn."
He laughs. "That baby of mine only wakes up if she hears a candy wrapper, so you're probably safe."
But when I get to his house, I go ahead and text him to let me in. I could probably have knocked, but I’ve met his kid and I definitely don’t want the responsibility of being the one who wakes her up. She’s like five minutes away from being outright feral.
"Hey man, you could have knocked." Aaron opens the door gingerly, but gives me a look like I was supposed to hammer away at what passes for his home with my giant man fists and my concern for his daughter is misplaced and ill-timed.
"Yeah, no. I'm like the Incredible Hulk. Sometimes my own strength gets away from me." I flex for him, another punchline to my usual joke.