I look at my husband and jerk my head in the direction of the kitchen. “Come with me.”
I lead him down the hall, and Gertie’s eyes narrow when she sees Paul follow me in and close the door.
“Gertie, this is my husband, Paul. He came to talk. Do you mind if we talk back here while you’re cooking?”
“Sure, doll.”
Paul’s eyes bounce between me and Gertie, and he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. “Can’t we go somewhere a little more private?”
I fold my arms over my chest. “You’re at my place of work, and I don’t have a lot of time. What’s wrong? Why are you here?”
His shoulders slump. “You won’t answer any of my calls or texts. I just wanted to see you.”
My eyebrows hit my hairline. “That’s why you’re here?”
He takes a step forward, reaching out for me. “I miss you. I want you to come back home.”
His eyes are glassy and bloodshot. He looks ...
“Are you drunk?”
He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “It’s been so hard without you, Callie.”
“I told you I needed some time, Paul. It’s only been a week.”
“How long do you need to figure out if you want to be with me anymore? We’re married, for God’s sake. We should be together.”
“We should be. But you made it clear that you can’t control your temper around me.”
Paul’s eyes slice to Gertie, whose back is facing us while she flips a couple of hamburgers on the grill.
Always worried about what everyone else thinks.
“Have you found a therapist?”
He shakes his head. “Not yet. But it’s at the top of my list of things to do.”
At that, Gertie glances over her shoulder, and I have to bite my lower lip to keep from smirking at her pissed-off expression.
“Look, Paul. I asked you for time to think, and you haven’t even taken a step toward getting help. We’re nowhere near ready to be together again.”
His eyebrows press together. “But you have plenty of time to get a job and hang out with Cole.”
I scrub a hand over my face. “I’ve told you how important it is for me to get a job. Cole was kind enough to get me this job, so he’s allowed to be here.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet he’s kind.”
“What are you insinuating?”
He rolls his eyes. “Nothing.”
My patience snaps. “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’ve been upset for a very long time. I will contact you when I’m ready to talk. In the meantime, you should get started on that to-do list of yours.”
Paul’s fists curl at his sides, his cheeks tinged with red.
Gertie spins around. “You heard the woman. Go. Get your shit together.” She swats her spatula through the air several times until Paul turns around and storms out of the kitchen.
A relieved breath whooshes out of me, and my knees feel weak. “I can’t believe I just spoke to him that way. I don’t know where that came from.”
Gertie pulls me into an embrace, squeezing me until I can’t breathe. “I’m so proud of you, sugar.”
I shake my head and touch my palm to my cheek. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, Gertie.”
She slides her hands up and down my arms. “You don’t have to figure it all out now. This is still new. Let him stew in his sadness. It’ll be good for him. It humbles a man when he doesn’t get everything he wants.”
“It’s like I can’t think straight when he’s around. When he’s gone, I can hear my own thoughts and feel my own emotions. But when I’m with him, all I can think about is how he’s feeling. I don’t know how to be myself with him because I’m afraid it’ll upset him.”
Gertie points her finger in my face. “Now, you listen to me, and you listen good. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to tell you this. The right person won’t ask you to sacrifice who you are for his love. Losing yourself in a relationship is never an option. You’re the most important thing you’ve got. You can love someone with your whole heart and still stay true to yourself. If he doesn’t like that, then he’s not the one for you. Do you understand?”
I swipe away my tears as they force themselves to the surface. “What do you do if you’ve already lost yourself?”
“You find your way back.” Gertie turns me by my shoulders, facing me toward Cole, who’s leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pockets.
Something about the way he’s looking at me with concern etched onto his features makes my chest ache.
“Just came to see if you’re okay.”
I nod with a sniffle. “I’m good.”
“Good.”
We stand there, staring at each other, until Gertie clears her throat. “Who’s ready for lunch?”
The rest of the week goes by as quickly as my first day at the diner.
Gertie even let me add some of my own dishes to the specials list. Customers raved about them, and she said I can pick one to add to the actual menu. It means the world to me that she’s allowing me to take such a prominent role in her business.
At the end of the day on Friday, I head over to the Women’s Support Group that Melissa told me about.
As I sit outside, staring out the window at the run-down high school building, I feel nervous, unsure of what to expect. I haven’t decided if I’ll feel comfortable enough to share anything with a room full of strangers, but I walk inside with an open mind.
Melissa welcomes me when I arrive inside the gymnasium, and I’m relieved that she’s here. She introduces me to several women who are sitting in metal folding chairs strategically placed to form a circle.
I take the seat beside a young brunette woman named Carrie. She has beautiful hazel eyes behind her wire-rimmed glasses.
She sticks her hand out and smiles. “Nice to meet you, Callie.”
“You too.”
“First time at group?”
I laugh. “Is it that obvious?”
“I remember wearing that same look you have on. It’s not so scary once everyone starts sharing.”
“Have you been coming here for a while?”
“Two years. It really helped me to find a group of people who understand.”
I nod. “That’s great.”
Melissa surveys the room as she takes a seat across from me. “All right, ladies. Let’s get started. How is everyone doing today?”
Several of the women shout out their answers.
Carrie raises her hand. “I’d like to start.”
Melissa smiles. “I was hoping you would.”
Carrie turns her head to look at me. “Today marks five years since the day I tried to take my own life.”
My lips part in surprise, but I recover quickly. I’m not sure what the proper protocol is.
“Why don’t you tell Callie your story?” Melissa says.
Carrie inhales and folds her hands on her lap. “I had a verbally abusive boyfriend. He’d put me down because I didn’t want to go out and party with him. Looking back on it, we were very different, and I don’t know how we ended up together, but opposites attract, I suppose.