Slumping down onto a bench, I braced my elbows on my knees and dropped my head into my hands. Maybe it was a good thing Percy never showed up when Tuck and Jamie invited him to dinner. Maybe that would make things easier going forward. Being around him, even among so many other people, had worn me out. Maybe I’d be able to avoid him in the future. Or maybe my wolf would realize his mistake, and whatever craziness I was feeling inside would go away on its own.
Suddenly, I felt my wolf stirring again, more frenetic than before. Then I felt him. Percy.
I snapped my head up and found him rounding the corner. He stopped in his tracks, obviously not expecting to see me there. Hell, he was probably going out of his way to avoid me as well.
We simply stared at each other for a long, tense moment. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even think straight. Not with my wolf freaking the fuck out.
But Percy was the one to break the silence. “Just so you know, I’m aware of what’s going on between…our wolves.”
I sat up straighter, the muscle in my jaw ticking as I fought to keep my face blank. Our wolves. He’d felt it too, then. I wasn’t sure what I thought about that, but it couldn’t be good.
The amber in his eyes flashed, and then he swallowed. “I just want you to know that I’m not going to act on it. I think our wolves are mistaken.”
I should have felt relief at his words. He didn’t want this any more than I did. And he wasn’t going to push the matter, apparently. That was great. I should be beyond relieved. Instead, I felt a strange hollowness in my chest. I stood to my feet but didn’t move any closer to him. “That’s the first and only thing I’ll ever agree with you on.”
He arched an eyebrow but didn’t say anything else. He simply shoved his hands in his pockets and strolled past me.
I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until he was gone. All I wanted to do was go home and take a nap and pretend this afternoon had never happened. But of course I couldn’t just disappear. I made my way back to the rear yard and found Jamie talking to some of the last partygoers.
“I think I’m going to head out soon,” I told him once he’d spotted me and said goodbye to the people he’d been talking to.
“Don’t try to tell me you’re okay. I’ve seen how you acted all afternoon. This whole thing with Percy really shook you up.” Jamie gave me a sympathetic smile.
“I’m sorry.” I shook my head. “I know I was a shitty godfather today. I really hope I didn’t ruin your party with my behavior.”
Jamie lifted a brow. “Of course not. You weren’t yourself, that’s for sure. But I don’t think anyone else really noticed.”
“Still, today was about you. Not me.”
“Just stop,” Jamie said with a laugh. “You were perfect. Did you hear all the comments about that amazing cake?” Then he grew serious. “East… Are you sure you want to ignore this? Percy could be your fated mate. I don’t think you can just pretend you didn’t feel something and hope it goes away.”
“That’s exactly what I intend to do,” I replied. “I’ve never been surer of anything in my life.”
“But Easton… Mates. I know you. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.”
I grimaced. “Maybe so. But not if that mate is someone like Percy.”
Jamie looked at me sadly. “Maybe you should get to know him. Spend some time with him. Maybe you’ll change your mind.”
I shook my head. “Spending time with Percy Rivers is the last thing I want to do.”
3
Percy
I made my way back to my office, a bag of street tacos in one hand, my phone in the other. There were about fifty more emails I needed to get through, and I barely noticed any of the people around me as I walked down the main drag of Blackwater’s small downtown area where my office building was located.
They were all out for a wild and crazy Friday night, anyway. Not really my scene. Hadn’t been for a long time. Not when my job demanded so much of my time.
It had been a particularly shitty week as a ton of new cases had come in, which equaled lots of prep work and lots of research. Normally, I thrived on that kind of thing, loved staying busy, but this week I’d fallen behind thanks to that encounter with Easton Moore at Tuck’s party. I hadn’t been able to get it out of my mind, and it had been nearly a week ago.
A menacing growl echoed in my mind. It was my wolf, frustrated that I refused to acknowledge Easton as my fated mate. As I had all week, I ignored him. It was a mistake. Clearly. There was no way Easton was my mate, but I couldn’t seem to convince my wolf of that.
Work. I needed to focus on work. Pushing through the main door of my building, I tried to shove thoughts of Easton out of my mind once more. But as I stood in the vestibule and unlocked my office door, I knew it would be an exercise in futility.
I hadn’t exactly been nice to him, but he’d taken it one step further. He’d made assumptions about me. He didn’t know anything about me and my life or my relationship with Tuck and his family. So yeah, I’d been pissed, to say the least.
Shaking my head, I closed the office door behind me then headed into the conference room where I dumped my dinner onto the table. The emails I needed to answer were a weight on my shoulders. I’d fallen behind this week, and it looked like I’d be working all weekend to catch up. It wasn’t anything new, but the reason I’d fallen behind gnawed at me.
Again, my wolf growled, and I grimaced. Fine. Maybe I just needed to deal with this once and for all and be done with it. Then I could get back to business as usual.
After I shunted my phone away, I grabbed a legal pad and sank into a chair. I decided to make a list. That always seemed to help me figure things out when I was working on a case. It cleared my head, and fate knew my head was a fucking mess right then.
Drumming my fingers on the table, I thought about what was really bothering me. Was it the fact that Easton was supposedly my fated mate? Or was it the shock of possibly having a mate in the first place?
I knew the answer to that one immediately, and drew two lines on the paper, making four squares. At the top, I wrote Fated Mate then wrote Pros on the left column and Cons on the right. Halfway down the page, I wrote Easton above the bottom two squares.
Then I grabbed a taco and sat back to think while I ate. Immediately, I thought of half a dozen things to put in the cons column.
As far as having a mate went, I just didn’t have time. I barely had time for anything other than work. That had never been a problem before, and I certainly didn’t want it to be then either. A mate would undoubtedly be clingy too. Nope. Definitely didn’t want that.
I wrote those down on the list. A mate would also require things of me that I just didn’t have it in me to give. Primarily romance, affection, and everything else that went hand-in-hand with a committed relationship.
I just didn’t do relationships. Never had. Never would. I didn’t want to think too much about the reasons why because that was just asking for a pity party, and I had too much work to do.
My cons list was looking pretty healthy, so I figured I’d better add something to the pros column. What were the benefits of having a mate?