“It was a long time ago,” Eva said evasively.
“But what happened?” Brian asked, turning back to his mother. “Why did you leave the band? Didn’t you like it?”
Eva shrugged, looking as if she’d rather have a root canal than continue the conversation. “I did at first,” she said hesitantly. “But things change. People change. I changed.”
She stood up. “I’m going to get some more snacks. Anyone want anything from upstairs?” Before anyone could answer, Eva was gone.
Four sets of male eyes, two of them still rather stunned, followed her until she was out of sight, and the basement door closed behind her.
Turning to me, Brian asked, “Do you know what happened, Jace?”
I shook my head. I didn’t know, but I’d always wondered.
I’d bought a copy of their demo that day and played it to the point of wearing it out. But when their first real album was released a year later, the woman pictured with the band wasn’t the same one I’d seen.
Over the years, Black Raven went through several female leads, none staying for more than a year or two until they didn’t even bother trying to replace them anymore.
On more than one occasion, I tried to find out who the original singer was. No one seemed to know. It wasn’t like it was now, where everyone had a cell phone and twenty-four/seven internet access. To find out things, you had to actually talk to people.
At one point, I went straight to the source and asked Ian Flynn about her when we ended up at the same venue for an all-day concert. Ian said he didn’t remember. He was so out of it that I believed him.
Only those who were there that day, like me, remembered her. To the rest of the world, it was as if she’d never existed.
Until I had seen her again, three days ago.
“We happened, you idiot,” Brian guessed, breaking into my thoughts.
Tommy’s eyes widened. “You think?”
Brian smacked his brother upside the head. “Duh. Summer, twenty years ago? We just turned eighteen, shit for brains.”
“Excuse me for a minute, guys,” I said, interrupting their little convo. “I’m going to see if your mom needs any help.”
I found Eva in the kitchen, staring out the window, looking lost.
“Eva?”
She turned quickly and wiped at her eyes. “Sorry. Coming.”
“Eva,” I said softly, drawing up behind her. “I’m sorry if I said something I shouldn’t have.”
She gave me a small smile. “It’s okay. It’s not like it’s a big secret or anything.”
“It just never came up?” I guessed.
“Yeah. Something like that.”
I felt like such a dick. I’d had good intentions, hoping that by reminding her of that day, of giving her a hint of what she’d meant to me and certainly others, she’d see it for what it was—a genuine, heartfelt compliment. Yet all I’d done was make things awkward.
“I should go.” I said the words because I felt I should even though leaving was the last thing I wanted to do.
“No.” She surprised me by lightly placing her fingers on my arm. It was such a gentle touch but one I felt acutely. “Stay.” She tilted her head and looked up at me with those big blue-violet—or were they violet-blue?—eyes. “Please.”
Deep in my chest, my heart did this stutter thing, and I realized then that I would do anything she asked of me. I had no more chance of denying her than I had of fighting the urge to kiss her.
Seconds later, my head lowered slowly, giving her every chance to back away or stop me.
She didn’t.
My lips brushed across hers, the barest of caresses. And she still didn’t pull away.
I deepened the kiss, cupping the back of her head with my hand. Her lips parted for me on the softest of sighs, giving me a taste of something more addicting than any drug.
“I’ve been dreaming of doing that for twenty years,” I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers. My mind was swimming, my hands trembling.
Before she could respond, the sound of heavy feet pounding up the stairs snapped me back into reality. The last thing either of us needed was to be caught in flagrante delicto by her sons the night before they left.
I found the strength to step back, grabbing the bowl of chips and shoving it into her hands. “Come on. Let’s show your boys just how kick-ass their mom is.”
She smiled in response, but this time, it was genuine.
~ * ~
Eva
Hoping we could forget about the big reveal was futile. The fact that I’d once been in a band was shocking enough to Brian and Tommy, but when Jace used his digital skills to find actual footage of my seventeen-year-old self onstage, they were beside themselves. The ancient video was grainy, but there was no mistaking that the woman giving it her all on that stage was a much younger, wilder version of their mother.
It was going to take a while for them to fully process that. Even I was having some difficulty reconciling that girl with the woman I was today, and I’d lived it.
“Holy shit, Mom,” Brian said at one point. “You were hot!”
It was actually kind of funny when he clamped his lips shut and his eyes grew wide, realizing what he’d said.
Jace didn’t even try to hold back his snicker when Tommy cuffed Brian upside the head and hissed, “What the hell is wrong with you? That’s Mom!”
Honestly, I didn’t know if I should feel flattered or mortified. I supposed I ended up feeling a bit of both. I hadn’t been trying to hide anything from them; I just wanted them to have as normal of a childhood as possible—no easy feat when their biological father was the legendary Ian Flynn. Ian made that easier by not being a big part of their lives, so I was able to shield them from the darker, seamier side of the business.
Not for long. Soon, they would have a front-row seat and a backstage pass to it all, and there was nothing I could do about it. Well, not without giving them an ultimatum as my parents had done to me, and I wasn’t going to do that.
I was glad I’d asked Jace and Kurt to stick around after the big reveal. They kept things at an upbeat, relatively controlled even keel.
Jace was great with the boys and, despite his sexy arrogance and overabundance of pheromones, a surprisingly calming presence for me. I’d never admit that to him. His ego didn’t need any more stroking.
Kurt shared tour stories with them—properly edited, I guessed—while Jace stayed close and subtly attentive, frequently refilling my unsweetened iced tea, pulling me back into the conversation whenever I’d quietly slipped away into my own thoughts and worries.
There was no repeat of that brief but steamy interlude we’d shared in the kitchen, which was oddly disappointing but for the best. I was going to claim a temporary moment of insanity on my part, brought on by a particularly stressful day and the lingering remnants of prescription drugs in my system. It was wrong on so many levels, not the least of which was the fact that Jace Logan was a client.
On the other hand, it had been one hell of a kiss. While it should never happen again, I couldn’t bring myself to fully regret it.
The rest of the evening flew by. Before we knew it, the clock was striking midnight, and Jace and Kurt were saying their good-byes and wishing the boys luck. Brian and Tommy went up to their rooms to finish packing, and Kurt went out to the rental. Jace lingered at the front door.