He grinned and openly checked me out from head to toe before licking his lips. “You look fantastic.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I could say the same for him. Clearly, the marketing department had used old photos and robust editing software in the comeback tour promos.
Ian was only a few years older than me, but time and life had not been kind. Then again, years of chemical abuse would do that to you. Looking at his exceptionally thin frame, the mom in me wondered vaguely when the last time was that he’d had a decent meal.
My thoughts wandered to Jace. He was about the same age as Ian, yet he looked amazing. He had none of the heroin-chic thing going that Ian sported. And come to think of it, Jace hadn’t even accepted a beer the night before, choosing a bottled water instead. Either Jace Logan was an exception to the typical rocker stereotype or he’d just been on really good behavior around me and the boys.
“Aren’t you going to ask me in?” Ian asked, cutting into my musings.
I wanted to say no, but I was trying to play nice for the twins’ sake. “Of course. Come in.”
I stepped aside to let Ian pass, exchanging a glance with Ross. He looked just as surprised as I felt. In the ten years we’d lived here, Ian had never so much as driven by as far as I knew.
Brian and Tommy greeted Ian, not like a father, but not like a complete stranger either. Ross had said that in their planning process, they’d spoken through real-time video chats, so I supposed that made sense. I hadn’t been part of those chats, believing it better to trust Ross and let him handle the face-to-face. When Ian and I got together, it rarely ended well. I had forgiven him, but I would never forget.
Shoving those unhelpful thoughts aside, I tried to concentrate on the positives. If nothing else, this tour would give the boys a chance to get to know their father while he was still around. Equally important, maybe Ian would realize and finally appreciate what great kids they were.
When I saw them all together like that, it was clear that the boys definitely favored their father’s side of the family in terms of build. Brian and Tommy were a few inches taller than their father. Broader about the shoulders. More like Ross than Ian really. Then again, Ross was fanatical about taking care of himself. Ian, not so much.
We stood inside the foyer, the atmosphere growing increasingly awkward. No one, including me, knew what to say. Only Ian seemed blissfully oblivious, but then Ian was at ease wherever he went. I sometimes envied his unwavering ability to not give a shit about anything outside his own personal bubble.
“Nice place,” Ian finally said. “How about a tour?”
I looked to Ross in a silent plea for help. Even from several feet away, I could tell that Ian had already been partaking of the bar in the back of the limo. I had no desire to prolong this for any longer than absolutely necessary. Every second we stood there was a struggle for me to refrain from grabbing both of my boys’ suitcases and flat-out refusing to let them go.
“No time,” Ross said, waving to the boys to grab their bags. “We’re already two hours behind schedule.”
Ian scowled and shot his brother a scathing look, but Ross was one of the few who refused to kowtow to Ian’s whims and held up his hand.
“Save it. I’m not one of your roadies, and on this tour, I’m in charge.” Ian opened his mouth to argue, but Ross added smoothly, “Your fans aren’t going to tolerate your bullshit for much longer either. Fuck this up, and I’m dropping your ass.”
Inside, I silently cheered. Ian grumbled something about no one appreciating real talent anymore but stopped his progress further into the house. Even his pickled brain must have realized that Ross had the power to make or break his big comeback tour.
Regaining some of his swagger, he turned and grinned at me as he spread his arms open. “Maybe next time, baby. My public awaits.”
I kept my expression even, but deep inside, I felt a stab of pity. There was a time when I’d thought Ian had hung the moon and stars, and even though things hadn’t worked out, a tiny part of me would always care about him. I knew he’d lived a hard life, but seeing what the years had done to him was heart-wrenching.
It opened up a Pandora’s box of confusing feelings I just didn’t have the strength to sort out at that moment, so I ruthlessly shoved them to the back of my mind along with everything else. I would take them out later and deal with them when I was alone, preferably with a nice bottle of wine. For now, I focused on keeping it tight and together for a little while longer.
“Remember what I said,” I said as I gave Brian a fierce hug, followed by Tommy. “Be smart. Don’t inject yourself with anything. And use condoms. I put a box in each of your suitcases.”
“Mom!” both boys said in unison as I forced myself to step back.
Furious blushes painted their cheeks, but I didn’t believe for a moment that either of my boys was that innocent.
“And no matter what, I am always here for you. You know that, right?”
“Jesus, Mom, we’re coming back,” Brian said, shifting uncomfortably.
“Yeah, Mom, this is just a tour,” Tommy agreed. “We’ll be back at the end of summer.”
I summoned a smile.
If they caught the bug like their father had—or me, for that matter—they wouldn’t be back. If they did return, they wouldn’t be the same. I understood that even if they didn’t. It was impossible to live on the road and not have it affect you. I could only hope that it would have more of a positive effect than a negative one in the long run.
“I know. I’m just saying.”
I caught Ian looking at me curiously. Ross said something to him I couldn’t hear and gestured toward the limo. With one final glance, Ian turned and swaggered out the door, but for all the boys had been chomping at the bit to head out, they now seemed reluctant to leave.
Tommy restlessly toed the tile. “You going to be okay, Mom?”
“Of course I will,” I assured him. “You’re going to text me every day and send me lots of pictures, right?”
“Right,” he said, giving me a boyish grin and revealing that adorable dimple.
Lord help the young girls he used that on. They wouldn’t stand a chance, which didn’t do a thing to ease my fears.
I lightly pushed at his arm. “Don’t keep your uncle Ross waiting. Go now, before I change my mind.”
He didn’t realize just how close I was to doing exactly that.
With one last hug and kiss from each of them, I watched as they turned and walked away. As they made their way down the walk, I saw them straighten their shoulders and stand taller. Just knowing that this was hard on them too gave me a small measure of comfort.
“Eva,” Ross said, lagging behind the others but still keeping an eye on Ian, “you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” I lied.
“I can stop by after I take them to the airport. We haven’t gone out to dinner in a while. My treat.”
“I’ll take a rain check, okay? I think I’d just like to be alone, so I can wrap my mind around all this.”
Ross gave my shoulder a brotherly squeeze and kissed the top of my head. “We’ll postpone dinner until tomorrow, but that’s as long as I’m willing to wait. I’ll call later and check up on you, whether you like it or not.”