And I really didn’t need to be reminded days, weeks, or even years from now of why Caden felt he needed to ensure that I was okay.
Staring at our hands, I welcomed the burn in the center of my chest only because that sensation was a dose of reality. Caden wasn’t here because he felt for me what I did for him. He wasn’t promising to be there for me while I dealt with the consequences of…of what Aric had done. We weren’t partners in the way that made people stick together through sickness and health and all that jazz. What I felt for him wasn’t returned, at least not to the same degree. That much was obvious since he was engaged to someone else. He was here because he felt guilt, because he felt pity.
And he felt responsible for me.
It took nothing to see his expression when I freaked out over the glass of water. I squirmed a little, embarrassed.
Out of all the things I was having trouble remembering, I hadn’t forgotten how he had looked at me before. Even when he was angry with me or we were arguing, he stared at me like he could barely restrain himself from leaping on me and taking me to the ground—or against a wall. I shivered.
Now, he looked at me with a mixture of pity and horror, guilt and regret, and seeing that sat like a lead ball in the pit of my stomach.
And that was the worst part about everything that had become of us. I’d gone from respected and desired, even if reluctantly, to someone Caden pitied. I didn’t need time to recover to see that clearly.
I already saw it.
Uncomfortable in my own skin, I pulled at my hand, and he let go. I clenched the blanket. “I really am tired. I think I need some sleep.”
Caden was quiet for several moments. “I’ll be back with something to eat in a few hours after the healer sees you.”
“You don’t have to. “
“I know.” He placed his hand over mine, gently prying my fingers loose. “I want to.”
My gaze shot to his. “More like you need to.”
“That, too.”
“I’m sure someone else can bring me something. You have to be busy, and Tatiana—”
“We will talk about that later,” Caden interrupted. “I’ll be back.” Lifting my hand, he kissed the top of it, surprising me once more. “Get some rest.”
Caden was standing and already at the door before I had the chance to process what he’d done. He stopped and looked over his shoulder at me. “I was wrong about a lot of things, Brighton. Things I don’t expect you to ever forgive me for, but things we will discuss when you’re better. When you’re ready.”
* * * *
I really had no idea what Caden thought we needed to talk about. What kind of paper he and his soon-to-be Queen were going to use for their wedding announcements?
Did fae even send invites?
I had no idea, but about five minutes after Caden had left, there was a knock on the door, and Ivy poked her head in.
“Hey,” she said, stepping inside. “It’s Ivy—”
“I know who you are.” My cheeks flushed as I toyed with the blanket.
“Sorry.” She cringed.
“It’s okay.”
Her face smoothed out. “We ran into Caden, and he said you were awake. You up for a quick visit with me and the doc? She wants to check you over.”
I nodded. “Sure.”
Ivy smiled as she moved aside, and the tall female fae entered. My first thought was that she looked like a mortal doctor, white lab coat and all, and even though the four-leaf clover had been taken from me, I could still see the blond female for what she was. Silvery skin and ears slightly pointed. She walked to the bed with the innate grace of all the fae.
“I don’t think I got a chance to introduce myself. I’m Luce.”
“Hi,” I murmured. “I’m Brighton.”
The fae’s pale eyes lightened. “How are you feeling?”
“Okay.”
Her head tilted slightly. “There’s no way, with your level of injuries, that you’re feeling okay. No one would expect that of you, and the most important thing right now is that you’re honest with me so I can make sure you are okay. If not, I’m pretty sure our King will have me drawn and quartered.”
Uh.
I glanced at where Ivy had plopped into the seat Caden had occupied. All her wild, red curls were pulled back in an impressive bun. Widening her eyes, she nodded in agreement to what Luce had said.
Alrighty then. “I feel better than before.”
The fae smiled. “And your pain?”
“Not bad.”
“Good. I’m going to check some of these wounds and do a quick check-up,” she explained. “Then we’ll see about getting some real food in you.”
The exam was rather quick and only a little painful. Sitting up wasn’t exactly fun, and it was only when she lifted the hospital-type gown that I really got to see how the cuts were healing.
My legs and stomach looked like someone had been counting the days on my body like I had been on the stone.
When the healer was done, I was sitting completely upright, my feet resting on the floor, focusing on taking slow and even breaths.
“Everything looks like it’s healing up just fine,” Luce told me, slipping her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. “Actually, you’re healing better than I would’ve anticipated given the number of wounds and the lack of nutrition combined with dehydration. I am aware that can be particularly dangerous for humans.”
“Luce works part-time in a human clinic,” Ivy explained, apparently noting the way I was staring at the doctor.
“Just a couple of hours a week,” she said. “Humans fascinate me. Sort of like how I imagine wild animals fascinate zoologists.”
I blinked.
Ivy pressed her lips together, expanding her cheeks as she widened her eyes once more.
Unabashed by the human and wild animal comparison, Luce continued, “Have you had any more nausea? Vomiting?”
I shook my head and then said, “Not that I remember.”
“Not since yesterday,” Ivy confirmed.
“Good. I think we can get some food sent up. Something light. We’ll see how that goes.”
Exhaling, I nodded again. “Can I take a shower? I really want to wash my hair.”
“If you feel up to it and keep the wounds on your legs and arms bandaged, I don’t see why not.” The fae jerked her chin in Ivy’s direction. “I do think you should have someone here while you do it just in case you get tired.”
“I have ample time on my hands,” Ivy offered.
My gaze shifted between the two women. “When can I go home?”
Luce’s smile remained firm as she glanced at Ivy. My brow puckered. “We’ll see how you’re doing in a day or so, okay?”
I opened my mouth.
“In the meantime, I’ll have some more pain meds sent up,” she moved on. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”
Ivy started to rise. “I’m just going to go see if I can rummage up some food for you.”
Understanding flared. I knew what the healer wanted to talk to me about. “You don’t have to leave,” I said, and Ivy halted. “I know what you want to talk about. If I was sexually assaulted.”