“That is so young. I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” Finished with the center section, Caden moved on to the right. “You asked how I got broken ribs. I was a Prince, but I was always a warrior first. Before the big war, there were skirmishes, and I often found myself embroiled in a tavern fight—or five.”
“That I can easily see.”
“What? The tavern fighting?”
My lips twitched. “Well, yeah, but also the warrior part. I didn’t think you just lay around all day and….” Something prodded at my memories, but I couldn’t reach it. My eyes had drifted shut. There was something incredibly relaxing about having your hair brushed.
“I could be lazy and indulgent, but I always did my duty,” he said after a few moments. “My parents used to think that was one of my admirable traits. However, I have come to realize that it’s a flaw.”
“How so?”
“Duty should never supersede what is right,” he said. “No matter the cost.”
Before, I would’ve argued that duty always came first. It was everything to those raised in the Order, but that was before learning what Ivy was, before meeting the Summer fae and learning that not all of them were evil creatures hellbent on destruction. That was before meeting and…and falling for Caden.
Now I knew that duty often dictated things that were not right. Duty was too black and white, with little to no gray area.
Caden fell quiet as he worked at my hair, moving on to the left side. Not only was this incredibly soothing, it was also…kind and so sweet. And if I believed him, believed what he’d said about why he was here, then why was he—?
I cut those thoughts off. There was no reason for me to go down that road. A knot lodged in my throat anyway.
His hand stilled. “What are you thinking, sunshine?”
“Don’t call me that.” My voice rasped.
“Why wouldn’t I?” The comb started moving again.
Why? I almost laughed, except nothing about this was funny, and considering that he was pledged to another, the nickname was cruel in a way.
“You shouldn’t be doing this,” I whispered, blinking back tears.
“There is nothing wrong with what I’m doing. You need help, and I am here, where I am supposed to be.”
“But—”
“Let me help you. That is all,” he coaxed. “Then you can rest. Later, if you’re feeling up to it, you and I can talk.”
I turned my head to the side. “There’s nothing to talk about. I already told you that.”
“And I already told you that there is a lot.”
“Then talk to me now.”
His chuckle somehow rumbled through me, stirring parts of me I’d rather ignore. “Now is not the time, Brighton. Not for a conversation like this.”
No matter how much I insisted, he wouldn’t tell me what he thought we needed to discuss, deflecting each question by changing the subject. He talked about the tavern brawls, which always surrounded some sort of perceived insult, and then he told me about the little-girl games his sister would make him and Fabian play. It all seemed so…human. I imagined if I had older brothers, I would’ve forced them to play with dolls and eat pretend food. I would’ve chased after them just like Scorcha had with Fabian and Caden.
When Caden finished with my hair, I could actually run my fingers through it, and like I had suspected, he didn’t leave. After helping me lay back down, he got me one of those pain pills and refilled my glass. Then he pulled up his chair as close to the bed as he could get it and told me more stories about him and his brother like he had before. And when my eyelids got too heavy to keep open, his voice softened. I fell asleep knowing that he would remain and that he’d be there when I woke up.
And I wasn’t afraid.
Chapter 18
When I woke the following morning, I remembered.
In my sleep, I had shifted to my side, and I was surprised to find that it didn’t cause my ribs to hurt all that much. Opening my eyes, I found Caden asleep in the chair beside the bed, just like I had the last time I woke up. He was closer than before, the chair right next to where I slept, and not only were his legs propped up on the bed, but his left hand…his fingers were threaded through mine.
We were holding hands.
If I’d done that in my sleep or if Caden had, who knew? But it was as sweet as him brushing my hair the night before, and just as wrong.
In the moment, none of that seemed to matter.
I didn’t know why or how, but I remembered bits of what Aric had told me about Caden—about the mortuus and about Siobhan…and about the Summer Kiss.
Important bits.
I remembered why Aric had dressed me in that gown, and that he had planned to use me to force Caden to open the gateway, something that, at the time, hadn’t screamed how much of a big deal it truly was.
Because Caden was the King. He could open those gates, releasing the Queen and God only knew what else. That was something I doubted Ivy and Ren were aware of, and I also knew it would unsettle them and the Order.
I stared at our joined hands. I also knew that if the Order ever became aware of what Caden could do, they’d put a hit out on him. I knew it to my very core. They wouldn’t care that he wasn’t evil and hated the Queen more than anyone else. He’d be viewed as too much of a risk.
And being a member of the Order, even if one undervalued, it was my duty to inform Miles of what I knew. If I didn’t, and they were ever to discover that I knew the truth, they wouldn’t just remove me from the Order, there’d probably also be a hit placed on me.
Hell, if they learned I’d had relations of the forbidden kind with Caden, they’d probably boot me right out of the Order. The fact that Ivy still remained a member even though it was known that she was a halfling wasn’t something that all Order members supported. She had Ren’s support, and she was also a hell of a fighter. The Order needed her.
They didn’t need me.
I thought about what Caden had said the night before about duty and how following it wasn’t always the right thing to do.
Reporting what I knew about Caden was my duty, and to the Order, it was the right thing to do. But it wasn’t. They wouldn’t care what had been done to him or how he’d been forced to do the Queen’s bidding. They already didn’t like or trust him, and Caden…well, despite what had happened between us, he was good.
He didn’t deserve to be hunted down.
Caden stirred, his lashes lifting. Eyes the color of amber jewels met mine and then drifted to where our hands remained clasped. The corners of his full lips tipped up.
“You’re awake,” he murmured, voice thick with sleep.
“He said I was your mortuus,” I blurted out.
I’d never seen someone wake up as quickly as Caden did. He slipped his hand free from mine as he pulled his legs off the bed. All traces of languid sleepiness vanished. “What?”
“Aric told me that I was your mortuus,” I repeated, sitting up and finding that I could do it without too much pain, which reminded me of something else I now remembered. “He told me you gave me the Summer Kiss, and that was how I was still alive after everything he did. It’s probably why I’m healing so quickly now.”