“I’m sorry.” Judging by the look on her face, they were exactly the wrong words to say.
“Sorry? Is that some kind of sick fucking joke? What exactly are you sorry for? Sorry that you don’t trust your girlfriend enough to be alone with your best friend without falling onto his dick? Or sorry you got caught talking about me in those terms?”
“Both. All of it. I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t.” Everything I said seemed to irritate her more. “You meant every word. Both of you did. And you know what? I’m kind of glad to get it out in the open. It’s been bubbling away between the three of us like a festering sore since Rome came out of the hospital.” That was a nice image. “And now at least the Band-Aid is off, we can deal with it like adults, instead of pretending it’s not there.”
“What’s not there?”
“This thing between the three of us. I don’t even know what to call it. It’s an extension of whatever fucked-up bullshit the two of you have going on—part sibling rivalry, even though you’re not siblings, and part, I don’t know the fuck what.”
“What does our thing”—Rome nodded between us—“have to do with the three of us?” He narrowed his eyes and took a step closer to her. He was so intense. I marveled that even after all the years of knowing him, I could still be surprised by the ferocity with which he did just about everything.
“You know.” She looked down at her feet, but didn’t appear to be about to say more.
“Look at me.” She continued to look at the floor. “Quin. I said. Look. At. Me.” Another extended moment drew out between us. Nobody moved for way too long. Eventually Rome took another step forward. “Quin.” Finally, she wrenched her eyes from the ground to meet his.
“Come on Rome, you know what I’m saying.”
“No. I know what I think and feel, but I want to hear where your head’s at.”
She turned to me this time, eyes imploring. I crossed my arms. She was right about what she’d said before. We needed to fix what was quite obviously broken.
“Look, I just came back to grab my stuff.” She pointed down to her suitcase, which I hadn’t even noticed before. “I think it’s best that I don’t sleep here tonight. I booked another room for myself. I’ll see you in the morning when we leave for the airport.”
“What the fuck? Why the hell would you book a different room?” Mirroring Rome’s action earlier, I took a step toward her. “I want you in my bed, where you belong.”
“I really don’t think...” She looked down at the floor again.
“You really don’t think what?” I took another step, farther closing the gap between us. “You didn’t answer Rome’s question, either. What’s going on with you?”
She looked into the middle distance, so I stepped closer again, forcing myself into her field of vision. “You know we’re not going to give up on this. We’re both stubborn assholes when we want to be. Well Rome’s a stubborn asshole all the time, and I can be when I choose. This is one of those times.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed so heavily, I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d visibly deflated. “I can’t do this. I mean, I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” My blood ran cold at the sound of her words, and I kept stock still, not even blinking.
“You don’t think what’s going to work out?” Rome’s voice was thick with tension.
“What exactly, Quincy?” I moved nearer still. The closer I got, the more she looked like a deer in the headlights. “What’s not going to work?”
“Us. I can’t.”
I stepped even closer, staring her down, my gaze pinned unflinchingly on hers, locking her in, although it was clear that she’d rather look anywhere than at me. I was so close now that she’d started retreating, moving backward to try to put some distance between us, but with the way I was looking at her, I wasn’t letting up. After a few more steps—her backward, me forward, she was pushed right against Rome’s chest, with me almost as tight in front of her.
I didn’t like cornering her, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and this situation definitely fit into that category. I nudged on her chin with the crook of my index finger, forcing eye contact again.
“I love you. You love me. What’s not to work?”
“It’s not as simple as that. I...” the slight tremor in her voice told me she was on the verge of crying. At a more reasonable, rational time, the thought of pushing her that far would have had me backing off and giving her space, but today, that wasn’t an option.
Her bottom lip quivered and she blinked rapidly, fighting back tears. Despite the pull in my chest, I stood my ground.
“Quincy.” My voice was low and urgent, loaded with emotion. “What’s not to work?”
“Jesus, King. I love you, you’re right about that. I love you so fucking much it hurts my heart, and my fucking core. And I need you. I never thought I’d say that about, or to someone, but it’s true. I’ve let you into my heart, and now you own a piece of my soul, but even though that’s the case, and walking away will break me into a thousand pieces, it’s what I need to do. I need to be away from you, both of you, for all of our sanity.” She lost the battle to keep the tears at bay, and they cascaded down her cheeks in thick tracks. Shit.
I leaned forward and gently kissed each streak.
“Why?” I kept my voice just above a whisper.
“You know why.”
I lowered my mouth to her ear and spoke as quietly as I could, while still being audible. “I need you to say it.” Her body bristled against mine, sending a jolt of electricity racing through me.
“Shit... I’m still attracted to him. Rome.” I knew exactly who she meant. The tears fell hotter and heavier down her cheeks. I pulled my gaze momentarily from her face to Rome’s, only to find his dark, brooding eyes trained on mine. He raised a questioning brow, and I nodded almost imperceptibly in return, then brought my focus back to Quincy.
She was still crying. “It’s not fair to either of you. Or me. So it’s better this way. I mean it sucks, and God knows how we’ll finish this album, but we can’t be together, so we’re just going to have to find a way to...”
“Why can’t we be together?”
“Have you drunk that much? I just said—”
“I’m not drunk.” I seemed to have sobered up pretty quickly. “You just said you want both of us. You deserve to have whatever your heart desires. Always.” She blinked faster, clearly confused by what I was saying. “Turn around.” She didn’t move, but looked at me in confusion. “I. Said. Turn. Around.” My voice was still low, but with a more urgent edge than previously.
After another moment’s hesitation, she moved slowly to face Rome, her head tilted up toward his. I met his gaze again, and without breaking eye contact, he lowered his mouth slowly to hers.
Though I was sure she must have been expecting it—we were sandwiched together way tighter than was reasonable and decent if something wasn’t about to go down, in both senses—Quincy jolted again, sending another lightning bolt of arousal coursing through my body. She hesitated, her only movement, the rapid rise and fall of her chest. She wasn’t the only one breathing heavily. We all were.