He turns and I watch him walk away from me. He doesn’t offer anything else, and neither do I. Instead, I watch his retreating form, then flick my gaze down to my phone. I have fifteen texts from Damion, a missed call from Grace, and another text… from Sebastian?
Great.
Ignoring everyone else’s messages, I tap on Sebastian’s first. I haven’t spoken to him in a month, then those photos were released just days ago and now a text. The hairs rise on the back of my neck with suspicions.
SEBASTIAN: CALL ME. MISS YOU, STERLY.
God, how could I forget his nickname for me. Just reading it, my heart does something funny inside of my chest. I don’t know if I read his message with dread, excitement, or trepidation. I can’t quite define how I feel.
I know that I don’t love him, but even though he was a complete ass, it was easy. Sebastian doesn’t have the power to obliterate me, even when he cheated on me, multiple times, never once did I cry. A true testament to the fact that I didn’t love him, probably never could, but he’s easy.
FORD
I want nothing more than to take her into my arms and slide inside of her all over again. I would be a liar if I said that things were the same between us, even in bed. They aren’t.
Last night was better than I could have ever imagined, but it was not the same as it used to be. Mainly, because we are not the same as we once were. I’m no longer an eighteen-year-old boy and she’s no shy eighteen-year-old girl, either.
We’re adults now, with pasts and experiences, our tastes and desires have changed also. I, for one, am glad that she didn’t seem disappointed in the man that I am now, seeing how nothing about her was even close to a disappointment.
I couldn’t sleep next to her, though. Generally speaking, I don’t sleep next to women, not unless I’m drunk and pass out. I can count on one hand the times that I’ve slept next to a woman in the past seventeen years. It’s just not something I feel comfortable doing.
Maybe it makes me feel too vulnerable.
Maybe it’s just too domestic.
I don’t know and I’m not really one for self-discovery, so I’ve never really thought about it until now, until last night when the first thing I did was get the fuck out of that bed and run.
Now, I’m wondering what the fuck happens next and if I can allow anything to happen. The fact that Stephanie doesn’t want to talk about it, just wants to fuck around while she’s here should be a relief, but it’s not.
The thought of her walking away again and never looking back fills me with sadness, and I hate that shit more than I’m fucking willing to admit. Thankfully, my phone rings in my pocket, taking my thoughts away from that pansy-assed shit.
“Hey,” I mutter.
The voice on the other end chuckles. “Heard the storm last night, wanted to make sure all was well,” Wyatt mumbles on the other end of the line.
I snort. “Bullshit.”
“She there?”
“Yeah, she showed up in the middle of the storm, I was getting ready to go out looking for Starlight. Got caught up in the rain, had to put her up in the little house.”
Wyatt knows exactly what house I’m referring to, especially since he helped me on more than one occasion with some of the interior repairs. He also knew where to find me when I disappeared after the failed wedding ceremony.
“Ford,” he says, his voice rumbling.
Shaking my head, I tip my head back, feeling the hot sun against my face as I let out a breath. “Yeah, I know. She didn’t know it existed. We slept together.”
“Fuck,” he hisses.
“I know.”
“How does that work? For the future?”
Tilting my head down, I kick a dirt clod. “Fuck if I know. She wants to just have fun right now, while she’s here.”
“Sounds like bullshit to me,” he snaps.
I let out a chuckle. “No fuckin’ shit,” I agree.
“What’re you going to do about it?”
“What can I do?”
There’s a moment of silence and I wonder if he’s going to tell me, or make me guess. He hums, then finally imparts his, oh-so-wise and infinite wisdom.
“Don’t give her the fucking option, brother. You still want her and she obviously still wants you. Either you’re all in or you aren’t, but fucking around isn’t going to do either of you any good. All it’s going to do is make both of you goddamn miserable for even longer. Haven’t y’all wasted enough time?”
I grunt, shifting from boot to boot. “I miss the miserable bastard you used to be. We had some good times together, now you’re all fucking optimistic and trying to get me to be happy and shit.”
Wyatt lets out a boom of laughter, and I can’t help but join him. In reality, I’m extremely glad that all of my friends have found their slice of happiness. All of them have worked their asses off for it and deserve all of the sweetness that life has to offer. I just never quite imagined that it would ever really be within my reach.
Could it be?
Is it possible for me to find that for myself—to find happiness? And with Stephanie, of all people? It’s been something unattainable for so long, I feel like to even think it’s possible, is an overreach.
But maybe it isn’t as impossible as it once was—maybe it never was?
Chapter Fourteen
STEPHANIE
Shit.
Letting the hot water wash over me in the shower, I replay the conversation that I had with Sebastian. I’m fucked. He wants something and he’s someone who will play dirty to get exactly that.
Biting the corner of my lip as my skin turns red beneath the hot water, I pinch my eyes closed and shake my head a couple of times, fighting back the tears.
I can’t do this.
Any of it.
I need to focus on finishing my dad’s house and get the fuck out of town. Whatever pain Sebastian wants to inflict, I’m not going to allow him to drag Ford or anyone else from Gallup down.
I’m going to go back to him, figure out what he wants and do whatever that is to just shut him up. Then maybe I’ll be able to figure out my own life, my future.
Once I’m dried off and wearing Ford’s clothes, I grab my dirty clothes from the floor and neatly fold them as I take a sip of the cooling coffee. It’s perfect, a little sugar and nothing else.
Looking behind me, I double check to make sure nothing is on the floor of the bedroom. I’ve made the bed, it looks perfect, as if nothing raunchy happened on that mattress last night.
The front door squeaks as it opens and my head whips around to see who is walking inside, though I don’t know why I even have to look, Ford is the only one here. The only one who would be here.
“You ready?” he asks. He looks almost nervous, definitely unsure of himself.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
He nods his head once, turning around as he holds the door open for me. Making my way past him, I step out on to the porch, the humidity of the air hitting me so hard that I almost stumble backward.
“Yeah,” he mumbles as he locks the door.
“Ford,” I call out, turning around to look at him.