“What are we going to do?” she asks softly.
“You’re going to tell me what got you all flighty earlier and I’m going to tell you what we’re going to do about that,” I murmur.
She lifts her head, her eyes narrowing on mine. “You can’t fix it for me, Cowboy. You can’t fix everything,” she whispers.
Moving my face closer to hers, I slide my nose alongside her own. “Not a boy, honey. I know I can’t fix shit for you. What I can do is help you if I’m able and support you if I’m not. You think I’m so arrogant that I believe I’ll be able to just fix anything you got goin’ on?”
There’s a moment of silence and I snort as I pull back from her, my head bouncing slightly against the side of the house.
“We don’t know who we are anymore, honey. That much is crystal clear, but I want to get to know the woman sittin’ in my lap. I like her a helluva a lot.”
Her lips curve up into a small smile. “I like you too, Cowboy.”
Shaking my head once, I smirk. “Tell me what’s goin’ on,” I urge.
She shifts her gaze from mine to the porch, then back to mine. “It’s Sebastian.”
I almost laugh. Almost. If I didn’t want to beat the shit out of the pencil dick, I would. “He leaked those pictures to the media, I’m guessing?”
She nods, her eyes wide. “Yeah.”
“Figured as much,” I grunt. “What’s happened now with him?”
She shakes her head, letting out a heavy sigh. “He wants to talk, he’s demanded we talk. He says he has another tape and he’s going to leak that next if I don’t come back home and speak with him. My publicist also set me up with a couple of interviews next week and I have to go to those.”
“You gotta go on TV and talk about the pictures?” I ask.
She nods slowly, her eyes finding mine. “I mean, America’s Sweetheart with nipple piercings? I can’t just pretend those aren’t out there, Ford.”
Her words are a low whisper and I hate them, fucking hate them. In no way whatsoever should she ever be embarrassed about her gorgeous nipples, or any other part of her body, but she also shouldn’t have to have them on display for the world to see either, not unless that’s what she wants.
“So, what you’re not saying is, you’ll be going back to LA, back to your life there and possibly back to his bed?”
I watch as her eyes shutter closed. That’s exactly what she is planning on doing. Going back to him, to some fuckwit who sold her naked pictures to the world, embarrassed her, and caused a shitstorm.
“You go back to him, then I don’t even know what to say to that. It’s obvious that you don’t love him, hell, I’m not sure you like him.”
“I don’t,” she softly admits.
“Then, why?”
“Convenience.”
I let out a snort. “You’re not the girl who settles for convenience, honey. Never were. Don’t start that stupid shit now.”
“God, you sound just like your daddy right about now.”
A sad smile curves on my lips as I think about the legend himself, my dad. Shaking my head a couple of times, I look down at her, tucking some of her wild hair behind her ear.
“He was a smart man. Learned a lot from him. Also learned that you can’t force it, you do and you’ll never be happy. It’s why I never scooped you up and brought you home. I wanted you to come home for me, for us. It’s also why I won’t chase you down this time either.”
“Ford,” she whimpers as tears build in her pretty eyes.
Closing my eyes, I reopen them slowly. “I want to make you stay. Make you see what we could have if you would just give us a chance. I want to take your goddamn choice to leave away, because I think that there could be something beautiful between us, something lasting. I won’t do any of that, though. I won’t force you to be anything you’re not. I’ll never make you stay. I don’t deserve that.”
“Deserve?”
Nodding, I shift her off of my lap, helping her stand to her feet as I do the same and fix my jeans. Lifting my eyes to hers, I stare intently, probably for the last time.
“I’m not perfect, I know that. I live a fairly simple life out here on a cattle ranch, don’t have fancy shit or anything like that. But, I feel like I deserve to have someone who wants to be at my side, who wants to build a life with me. If she never comes, then I’ll be alone and I’m okay with that too, I’ve made my peace with it.”
Walking past her, I make my way over to my pickup truck and wait for her to climb into the passenger seat. She does and silently I drive toward her car. The air is thick as she jumps out of the truck and walks over to her car, never saying a word—never looking back either.
This is it. This is the end of what could have been another beginning for us.
Chapter Fifteen
STEPHANIE
Driving back to the hotel, I wonder what the absolute fuck I’m doing. Why? Why am I walking away from him again? Tears stream down my face as I pull the car into a parking spot. I don’t move right away, choosing to sit in my own self-made pity party.
After thirty minutes of allowing myself to just feel, I shake off the sadness and decide that I need to do what’s best for everyone, including Ford. That means leaving. Sebastian will make my life miserable, he’s already threatened as much.
Plus, there’s the little problem of my schedule and the fact that I don’t live anywhere near Ford. I stand firm on my decision seventeen years ago and my reasoning for that decision. I cannot suggest that Ford give up his life here to be with me there. I can’t leave there and be here, not with my responsibilities.
We’re just too different, our lives polar opposites, it wouldn’t ever work.
Making my way into my room, I take Ford’s oversized clothes off and put my own on. My entire body aches and with each ache it sends a reminder of why I feel this way along with an image of Ford’s body straight to my head.
Locking up my room, I slip back inside of my car and head over to my childhood home. I need to get this done and get the hell out of here before I realize that I’m still very much in love with the man I ran away from, again.
I should call Damion and Grace back, but I don’t. Instead, I turn the playlist on my phone as high as I can and get to work. Deciding to forego the sentimental anguish of the last time I was here, I don’t think too hard about each item as I put it into keep, donate, and trash piles.
“Knock-knock,” a woman’s voice shouts.
My body jerks, I’m bent over, my head in a cabinet. As I pull out of it, I slam my head against the shelf like an idiot. Turning toward the voice, I blink at the sight of not just Channing, but Exeter standing in my parents’ living room.
“Um, hey,” I call out as I take my phone out of my back pocket and pause my playlist.
Channing smiles widely as Exeter glances around the disaster that is this old house. “I noticed you’d been here all day and didn’t think you’d eaten, so we brought burgers from the diner,” she smiles.
I blink. I don’t have the heart to tell her that I don’t eat like that, I can’t. Not only do I have to watch my weight, but as each year passes, I really have to watch my weight. And my trainer would kill me if I ate a greasy burger and fries… he’d have my ass. But the scent swirls around me, I wonder if just one would hurt?